The Missing Pages of You and I

The sun beat down upon Cassandra’s face as she closed her eyes, stretched her face towards the sunlight, and pretended she was lounging in a lush garden in the middle of Paris, enjoying the cool summer breeze. She loved everything about summer; the cold drinks, the pretty flowers that were in full bloom, the fact that the days were longer and the nights were shorter. Not to mention the fact that summer was when her freckles always appeared darker on her face, which she used as her secret weapon to bag some free sundae samples at an ice cream shop downtown. Having visited the place enough times, she was sure the boy who worked at the counter had a crush on her. She didn’t have the heart to tell him, he wasn’t her usual type though.  She placed the bookmark inside the book she was reading and closed it shut. As of this moment, Cassandra was sprawled on her back on an old table cloth she was using as a picnic blanket. She had her cute set-up with her; her basket she filled with sandwiches, her earbuds which she plugged into her phone and used to listen to some old 80s music station, and of course, her book The Things They Carried, which was assigned as summer reading for her AP English class which she would be taking in the coming senior year. If she were to describe what she was doing at that moment to anyone who asked, they’d think Cassandra was at a park, the beach, or even some really nice garden. But she wasn’t at any of those places. She was on the rooftop of the 12-story building her parents still lived in, and where she grew up.  No one at school knew where she lived. She was pretty sure they didn’t even that the only reason she could afford to attend Hemlock Grove was because of the scholarship she was on. And she’d prefer to keep it that way. They didn’t know she was the daughter of first-generation Korean immigrants, or that her parents still struggled to pay rent. They didn’t know that, unlike the rest of them, she couldn’t afford dresses that cost a year’s worth of tuition, or that she couldn't fly to Bali in a private jet just because "she felt like it". She wasn’t handed everything she had on a silver platter like the rest of them were. Everything that she had she had to work for, and that was something Cassandra was proud of. She picked up her phone to see how much longer she could laze around on the rooftop before returning to the chaos which was her family downstairs. 5 more minutes until 6 o’clock. Which means she had 5 more minutes of peace and quiet. She laid her head down, onto her arms which were folded behind her, closed her eyes, and wondered what her senior year would be like back in Hemlock Grove.  She knew she would have to work harder than she ever has if she wanted to maintain her scholarship, get into her dream school and work her part-time job, which helped support herself. She didn’t mind the workload if she was being completely honest. It kept her mind distracted and she always had something to focus on. In the very rare cases where she would find herself with a few minutes to spare, Cassandra would roam the halls of Hemlock Grove, exploring every nook and cranny of the place. Her school was huge, and that’s one of the things that she loved about it. But that also meant that it was very easy to get lost. She still remembers her early days at her school, when it used to take her more than 15 minutes to get from her dorms to her classes. She’d felt like she was at Hogwarts. Hemlock Grove was built on an old estate from the 1800s and consisted of five different wings; the girl’s dorm, the boy’s dorm, the cafeteria, the library, and the classrooms. The school library had always been her favorite (who knew how many hours she had spent in there), then came the music room and then the school grounds, which stretched on for acres, and were always so breathtaking to look at. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to looking at it.  She hoped whoever her roommate would be this year, was someone she could grow close to, and someone who wasn’t completely over the top. She never grew close to any of her past roommates. She didn’t know if they were actively avoiding her, or if both their schedules were always so packed that the only time the two of them would be in their room together was at night when they had to get some rest, and the only time they ever spoke was when they both made small talk to be polite. Maybe this year she’d make some friends other than Dawn.  She had to admit that it was nice being home and being able to spend time with her family but at times, she missed the thrill of waking up in the morning, having to rush straight to class, and having her schedule packed with things she needed to do. That way she didn’t have to think about her. Cassandra knew that it was pathetic, to be hung up over something that happened 7 years ago, but she couldn’t help it. She was 10 years old when it happened, but she still remembered the way Marisol looked. She remembers her wavy brown hair, her full lips, the way she didn’t think anyone noticed how she would pick at her cuticles whenever she was nervous or stressed. But Cassandra noticed all of it, she always did. That’s how much Marisol meant to her, she was the only person she trusted in the whole world.  I can’t believe she just upped and left, just like that. Without even telling me. Suddenly, the door to the rooftop banged open.  “Mom says if you don’t come downstairs and help with dinner this instant, she’s sending you back to boarding school early.” Alice, her older sister, had once again been sent as the messenger.   Cassandra sighed. So much for five more minutes.