Chapter 20
1308 Words
So would I have done as well, Kirstin fired up immediately,if you hadn't practically dragged me off before I could so.'
Suddenly his face split in a grin she remembered from earlier and far,far happier times.
Crossly she glared at him while he tensed,
"You always were a caused little brat, Kirstin.
It must be something to do with this brown hair.' He pushed back the hood of her anorak as he spoke and gently tugged one of her curls.
Heat rushed through her body and she stepped back from him instantly.
His smile faded,his face shuttered and cold.'You've got fifteen minutes to collect together anything that you might need.
What time do you expect your parents come home?
I don't any idea.
Actually they would have come home tonight, but Mom called me and said that they would stay one night over in weather the situation.
Ah...that's better I mean thier own good too.
Well....well if you give me the number, I'll give them a call and tell them where you are while you get some stuff.
This was the old big brother James she remembered from her teenage years.
She wanted to protest that she was perfectly capable of looking after himself, but as she looked up her parents friends,telephone number,she was already starting to shiver in the chill air.
It didn't take her long to get what she wanted, and while she was upstairs she would have liked to have changed out of her damp jeans and anorak they had had to get out of the pick up Ford twice on the way back to dig it out,and on both occasions the snow had come over the top of her wellington shoes, but she didn't want to give James any more excuse than necessary to criticise her,and criticise her he would if she kept him waiting, she though coldly.If she was Jessa he wouldn't be treating her so cavalierly.
If again she was Jessa.
She punched the elegant velour dressing gown she was shoving into her roll-bag with unnecessary vigour and then grimaced to herself.
If she was Jessa, no doubt she wouldn't be packing serviceable woollies and dressing-gown, but sheer silk undies and the sort of nightwear that no woman in her right mind ever wore to keep warm.
He was just replacing the receiver when she went back downstairs.
Your parents were worried about you.
Actually they tried to call this afternoon to check that you were all well.
I've explained the situation to them and your father said you weren't to worry, and that they would be back tomorrow after breakfast.
So she wasn't to worry, Kirstin though grimly as she allowed James to take her bag and then waited impatiently while he locked the kitchen door.
How was she supposed to feel, forced to spend the day and night with the man she loved.
Knowing how little he the desired her?
She only hopes that he gave her a bedroom with a lock on the door, so that she wasn't tempted to sleep walk into his bedroom and betray herself completely.
Oh I'm not worried at all, she assured him nastily, refusing to allow him to help her into the Ford Ranger, but Jessa might be if she knew that the two of us were spending the night together.
He was right, she was behaving like an absolute brat, she thought guiltily, watching the angry flush of colour seep up under his skin.
She only hoped that he wouldn't release that it was sheer jealousy that was making her so objectionable.
Spending the night together is hardly the way I would describe our situation.
He practically gritted the word's through his teeth, throwing them over his shoulder at her as he started the engine.
And even if we were, what possible reason could Jessa or anyone else have for objecting?
We were both, after all consenting adults, even if one of us isn't behaving like one.
She had the grace to squirm a little comfortably on her seat.
It's hardly my fault if everyone round here thinks of you and Jessa as an established couple, she muttered.
One darkly raised eyebrow informed her that he suspected the truth had been subjected to some imaginative expansion.
Don't talk rubbish Kirstin.
It might suit you to believe that I sublimated my need for Jessa in making love to you in the same way you sublimated yours for John, but you won't get me to swallow such an unappetising lump of simply to soothe your conscience.
But you were dating her.
Why on earth was she being so stubbornly persistent?
James had turned out into the lane now and she could see his house up ahead of them in the glare of the highlights.
Was I?
You seem to know more about our relationship than I do, he said drily.
I thought we were simply thrown together by force of circumstances.
But but you........
On the point of reminding him that he had gone to Germany with the other girl, she was treading and closed her mouth firmly before she could endanger herself any further.
Stop looking for excuses , Kirstin.
His voice was harsh, and edge with temper.
What happened between us happened, and I for one don't regret it.
He stopped the Ford Ranger with a craziness that made it slide forward a few feet, jolting Kirstin slightly against her seat belt.
As she straightened her body she could feel her heart pounding like a steam machine.
I'm tired of getting the cold-shoulder treatment.
I'm sorry if I wasn't the man you wanted to take your virginity, the more sorry than I can say.
He sounded tired now, and guiltily she realised what a strain the whole day must have been for him.
If you want me to apologise for making love to you, or to say that I regret it.
I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed.
For the first since she had known him he turned his back on her and got out of the Pick up Ford without either waiting to help her or checking that she was following him.
He had reached the door before she realised how cold she was and managed to stumble after him.
He had switched on the living room lights and its harsh glare illuminated the tension in his face.
He seemed to be wanting for her to tell som, but what could she say?
That she didn't regret it either that that......but no way......she couldn't say that otherwise she might think.......
Wha?
That she might welcome his love making over again?
That she might be agreeable to just that sort of brief affair she knew would tear her apart.
James, can't we declare a truce---- just for tonight?
He looked down at her for a long time, his eyes glittering oddly between the black fringe of his lashes.
He was looking at her almost as though her stomach lurched and she touched her tongue to her lips consciously.
For God's sake, don't do that.
Aren't things bad enough as they are without you behaving like a provocative.
He broke off and swore as he saw her face, reaching for her, but it was too late, Kirstin was already backing away from him and running out into the freezing darkness,his words hammering relentlessly against her brain as past and present met and merged, and she was once again that vulnerable eighteen years old who had gone to him with the gift of her love and her body, and had been rejected.
Kirstin.
She had heard him call her name but it scarcely penetrated the turmoil of her thoughts.
The snowflakes was too thick for her to run, but she stumbled on, not knowing where she was going only that she had to hide.
- Writer
