Loves moves in mysterious ways

chapter 5

She told herself that she was glad, and concentrated on settling into a proper routine.

By the end of the week she was finding that she had time to spare, and beacuse she was use to being busy, it weighed heavily upon her hands.

So heavily, in fact, that her father's announcement that a meeting was going to be held to discuss the setting up of a committee to organise fund-raising for James's Clinic-c*m operating theatre came as a welcome relief.

I've volunteered you to take notes and keep the minutes, he warmed her.

James was a bit dubious about weather you'd want to be so closely involved.

Meaning that he didn't want her closely involved? She felt a totally unexpected pain shaft through her which she suppressed instantly, instead concentrating on fanning her anger.

Was he?Well ,you can tell James from me that I do want to do it. It will stop my secretarial skills from getting to rusty.

You'll be able to tell him for yourself,

her father chuckle. He's coming for Dinner tonight,so that we can do a few preliminary plans.

The sudden lurch of her heart was so intensely reminiscent of her reaction to the mention of his name at eighteen that it drove all the colour from her face.What was the matter with her?

She wasn't that susceptible, adolescent, any more. She felt nothing for James cold,unless it was dislike.Who else will be able at the meeting?

She asked her father trying to distract herself. Oh,Greg Davis,from the back.

He's bringing a client of his who's just moved in to the area. a self made man who's just retired and who he thinks might be interested in making a donation.

I think I've managed to persuade Frau Samantha to join us. She suffers quite badly from arthritis now,and isn't an involved in a locals affairs as she was once, but I think she'll consider this is something worth being involved with.She's always had a soft apot for James,.

Yes.

Ever since he presented her with the chocolates he won at the summer Gala

Her father gave her an indulgent smile.

Yes you'd plagued the life out of him to give those chocolates to you.

And he said they weren't good for me. that had been the summer she was twelve and James had been, what? twenty and at medical school.

She had adored him then, and he had put up with her adoration in much the same ways as he might have tolerated the friskiness of an untrained sassy.

Frau Samantha has a relative staying with her at the moment.

I haven't met her, but I have heard that she's so attractive young woman. You'll probably find you have quite a lot in common with her.

She is been living in Germany, but when her marriage broke up she came and stay with her Auntie.

The Minister will be there of course' Oh and General Santos '.When Kirstin's eyebrows rose, her father grinned.Yes,I know.

He and Frau Samantha will argue like mad.

They always do,and secretly, I'm sure both of them enjoy it.He is an indefatigable organiser, though.

We're all meeting at James's house you know he is bought the personage.'

He glaced apologetically at her. I'm afraid I've volunteered you to take charge of the refreshments.

Your mother...."""

Kirstin signed not needing him to finish the sentence.Yes had she been well enough, her mother would have been the first to offer her services.

Like the General, her mother was also an indefatigable organiser, and many was the hot summer after when Kirstin and been detailed to assist with a mammoth cake baking session for some local bring and buy sale or summer Gala.

it must be her nostalgia for those long ago times that made her refrain from objecting to her father's casual disposal of her time,

she decided the next morning as she surveyed the cooling sponges on their wire trays.

The inhabitants of Bavaria where old fashioned about some things: bought cakes were one of them.

No self respecting Bayern housewife would ever serve her visitors with something she had not prepared with her own hands.

Well,at least she didn't appear to have lost her touch with a sponge,Kirstin though approvingly as she tested the golden brown confectionery In addition to the sponges,

there were biscuits, made to her mother's recipe,and later on she would make a sandwiches ham and carefully cover them to stop them curling at the edges.

She would have to borrow her father's car to run them over to James's house, but since her father was out playing golf with one of his friend's he was hardly likely to object.

As she drove over to the personage later in the day Kirstin wondered curiously why James had bought it.

Surely a smaller house in the centre of Bayern itself would have suited him more?

The very reason the Church had sold off the personage was its size,and the cost maintaining and heating it.

As far as she remembered, it had at least eight bedrooms and then there were the attics.

The wrought iron gates permanently open;indeed,they had stood open for so long that she doubted they could ever be closed.

Weeds and brambles had grown in between the spars, and the bright winter sunshine highlighted their neglected state.

The drive to the house to was overgrown, and the trees, which would looked lovely in the spring,now looked gaunt and deary without their leaves.Even so,

the Georgian facade of the house was undeniably elegant, and the gardens, encircled as they were by a high brick wall,would be a haven of privacy once they had been brought under control.

But who was going to do that?Not James, surely?He would be far too busy.

As she parked her father's car and climbed out it struck her that the personage was very much a family house.

Did that mean that James had plans to marry?Her mind shied away from the thought.

As she approached the house the front door opened and James came out.

Dressed casually in ancient jeans and a black shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows,he could almost once again have been the boy she had wanted as a child, and then he moved and the bright sunlight caught the harsh planes of his face, and the illusion the boy was gone and she was face with the reality of the man .

I've just brought the eats for tonight.I didn't think you'd come round just for the pleasure of my company.

The dry remark made her stop and look at him.Oh! come on, Kirstin I'm not blind, he said.

You've made it more than obvious how you feel about me.'She tensed then, unable to stop herself, alarm feathering over her skin as he came towards her.

What did he mean?Her heart was pounding frantically, her throat dry.

Surely she hadn't...It's obvious that you dislike me, " he continued curtly, and she felt her body sag with relief. He thought she disliked him.

But he was right ,she did......of course she did....Disliked and despised him...just as he had once despised her.However we live in such a small community that we can't avoid one another he continued.

She managed to gather enough composure to say hardly,

"There is a difference between not avoiding one another and me failing over you almost every time I walk in the front door.

She saw the way the planes of his face altered his muscles tensing under the self control he was using.

Your parents happen to be old friends, and I'm going to give that friendship up just to suit you. "

She watched his jaw clench as he grated the words out at her and then suddenly he turned to her, his body relaxing slightly as he appealed, Look,Kirstin, what is it?

We used to be such good friends....I accept that times, and people change, but I can't understand this........this......antipathy you have towards me."He couldn't understand?A wave of anger shook her.

He had destroyed her world and now it seemed he couldn't even remember doing it.

No,I'm sure you can't she agreed tautly.

But the days are long gone when I grovelled at your feet, James, glad of every little scrap of attention you threw my way.

Let is just say that I've grown up shall we and leave it at that. As she away from him and back to the car she could hardly believe that he had actually forgotten what had happened. Bitterness mingled with her anger.

How could she ever have been so stupid as to invest him with all the virtues of some chivalrous knight.

The James she had loved had never really existed;he had simply been a figment of her imagination.

It was ridiculous that she should feel so----so betrayed that he couldn't remember what he had done to her,but she dd.

This time as he walked towards the house carrying her boxes of food the made no attempt to speak to her simple preceding her into the old fashioned kitchen and showing her where she could put everything.

You don't have to do this you know," he told her when she had finished.I can get someone else to act as a committee assistant,

Yes I'm sure you can, but as I told my father it will stop my secretarial skills from getting rusty.

Don't flatter yourself that the fact that I have to come into contact with you affects my decisions on how I live my life,James it's simply that you're someone I'd rather not see unless I have to.

So I see.Well ,if that is the case you have my promise that I won't encroach on our old friendship.

I had hoped...He shrugged and turned away from her, but not before she had seen the bitterness twisting his mouth.James, bitter? But why?

And what had he meant about him not encroaching on it,just as he had made plain to her nine years ago?

Feeling thoroughly confused, Kirstin headed back her to her father's car.

It was almost as though James was trying to pretend that he wanted to be friends with her.

But why?She wondered whether he was ashamed of the way he had treated her.

But if that was the case, why didn't he say so' why pretend that he couldn't even remember that it had happened?

It was like a jigsaw puzzle with all the vital pieces missing.

For nine years she had harboured her resentment and dislike of him and on hearing that he was back in RoteskruezBavaria she had expected that he would want as little contact with her as she did with him, and yet today he had implied that he wanted to resurrect their friendship.

At seven o'clock that evening, having made sure that her mother had everything she wanted, Kirstin and her father set out for the personage.

The temperature had drop again, but the full moon had brought a clear sky with no treat of snow.

We will have some yet,though" her father predicted as he drove down the lane.

Little pockets from the previous weeks snowfall still lingered in hollows and by the roadside, and Kirstin was glad she wasn't driving when she felt when the car start to slide once or twice.

They were the first the first to arrive,and Kirstin went to the kitchen, leaving her father and James to talk.

The anger against James which had sustained her for so long it seemed to have dissipated,leaving her feeling on edge and unsure herself.

She felt uncomfortable being near him, constantly tense and apprehensive, although why she was no longer sure. It was obvious to her now that he wasn't going to resurrect the past,as she had dreaded him doing, so why did she suffer from this inability to relax, even to breathe properly, when she was around?

During her years in Germany she had learned to deal with many difficult and fraught situations.

Not even when she had to refuse John had she experienced this degree of nervous constraint.

It was almost as though James possessed some special sort of power over her that made her intensely and uncomfortably aware of him.

Even now, with the thickness of two walls separating them, she was acutely conscious of his presence. She didn't even need to look at him when he spoke to visualise his expression.

She could have drawn his every feature perfectly from memory. She shivered suddenly, and old herself it was a old stone house that made her feel so cold.

Coffee ready?

Her father called cheerfully, coming into the kitchen. The others seem to have arrived together.'

It will only be a minutes;' I'll bring it through into the library. As she already knew, the Personage had four main downstairs rooms in addition to the large and old fashioned kitchen.

There was a huge drawing room which the minister had ever used; a dining room a comfortable sitting room and then the library.

The library had always been her favourite room, with it smells of leather book bindings and dusty parchments.

It overlooked the rear grounds of the house, and three of the walls were lined from the floor to ceiling with the narra bookcases.

The personage and the living that went with it had originally been in the gift of the Samantha family.,and the house had been built for a younger son who had joined the clergy, hence its generous proportions.

Carrying the tray of coffee, Kirstin nudged open door with her foot. Several pairs of eyes studied her intrance,

but only two of them drew her attention The first belonged to James, and she felt the colour bloom under her skin as she realised how instinctively she had looked for him.

There was a curious expression in the brown eyes, and if she hadn't known better she might have thought it was a pleasure.

Angrily she dragged her glance away from James's, and found that she was being stared at rather hostiley by a pair of cold brown eyes again set in a sculptured belonged to Frau Samantha's daughter.

Ah there you are, my dear. "Her father got up relieve her of the tray, but James beat him to it.

Which was rather strange as he had been seated furthest away from her.I think you know everyone, don't you with the exception of Jessa and Mr Romel?

Jessa Perez's cold green eyes acknowledge the introduction with out making any attempt to make Kirstin feel welcome.

Wondering what on earth she had done to merit the other woman's patent hostility,

Kirstin turned her attention to the older man seated with Greg Davis, their bank manager.

Somewhere in his fifties, he had the lean, predatory look a man who challenged life head on,

and Kirstin could easily visualise him in the role of a successful businessman.

Having made sure that everyone had something to eat and drink, she looked for somewhere to sit and to her disquiet found that the only empty chair was to James.

Since hewas obviously chairing the meeting she supposed it made good sense that she should sit next to him,but she saw from the narrow eyed looked that Jessa gave her that the other woman was equally displeased with the seating arrangements.