Full Circle Homecoming

The icy wind burned my face as I loaded my last bag into the car. I could feel my tears starting to freeze as they spilled from my eyes. For three years this had been my home. Suddenly, I found myself out without warning. Brad and I spent four happy years together. Until he woke me up and said we were through and that I needed to be out by noon. Unbeknownst to me, Brad had spent the time I was sleeping gathering my personal belongings and packing them in the foyer by the front door. We had the worst heated argument during our time together. I had rights, and he couldn’t just make me leave and walk away with no time to plan. Not like this! With strong reservations and a bad feeling in my gut, I agreed to stay at a hotel after I watched him make reservations for the week, so he could figure things out. Outside of paying off the joint credit card, so I had the means to keep myself, he went about it all like I was a stranger. He didn’t even help me pack the SUV or say goodbye. It was all I could do to just function. On my way to the hotel I had stopped by the bank to withdraw cash. I had no idea of the reality that was going to slap me in the face. Brad had cleaned out all of our joint accounts. The $80,000 in savings was gone. The $40,000 in checking was gone. Not even a penny left in either account. The teller sent me to member services per instructions on the account. The guy at the member services desk sat there with paperwork ready for me to sign to close the accounts. Brad had already signed his part the day before. I was absolutely stunned. We had a good life. What happened? I was completely numb from shock. I saw none of this coming. By the time that I got to the hotel to check in, I couldn’t have been shocked anymore. I was expecting the unexpected with the way my day was going. And I was not at all surprised to find out that Brad had not only canceled the hotel reservation, but also canceled the credit cards. He left me with nothing but what was in my car. And he did this purposefully and had spent some time planning it all out. My cell phone service was disconnected and it seemed Brad’s service was as well. I tried to call him on both the personal and the business phone from the hotel lobby. With nowhere to go and no money to speak of, I went back to the house. My keys did not work and Brad had left. All the windows were locked or frozen shut. I had no way to get into the house on the coldest day of the year. The sub-zero temperature and the blistering wind were beyond debilitating. There was no sign of life around the house. All I could find was an envelope with my name on it sticking out of the back French door. I will never forget the words I read as I opened the envelope and unfolded the single piece of paper. Four years of my life came down to be worth just the effort of a paragraph. One stupid paragraph that didn’t even explain why he ended things suddenly. Hell, there wasn’t even much of an apology for tossing me out on the streets after everything I had done for us, him. “Cindy, I am so sorry it has come down to this. I messed up royally this time and there’s no fixing things. I am sure you will learn more in the coming weeks. I am sorry things didn’t work out and I had to take everything we had leaving you nothing. I don’t suggest you go anywhere near friends and family. People looking for me will be looking for you. I hope you find this as I have put $1000 on a rechargeable credit card for you. Hopefully, I can soon put more on it to help you out. Don’t try to look for me, you won’t find me. I love you and will be missing you… Brad” That was it. My world, as I knew it, was gone. Poof. It was if the last four years just disappeared from my life in less than six hours. In my desperation, I headed towards my best friend’s farm. I guess word travels quickly no matter where you are. Debbie was not a happy person when she opened the door on my arrival. “Cindy, you cannot be here. Why are you here? If Jim finds out I am talking to you he will kill me.” That welcome from my best friend of three years was sobering. Seems before Brad’s service got shut off he did a mass text to all of our close friends and family. Debbie explained to me that she had been receiving calls all day from people regarding Brad’s text. Debbie took out her phone and showed me the text. It made my heart sink and tears from reading the text. “Hello family and friends. I am sorry to up and disappear on everybody. I had no other choice. Please don’t take it personally. Cindy will probably try to reach out to you in her time of need. I highly suggest you turn her away and protect yourselves. The people who will be looking for me will be looking for her and that is drama you don’t want.” That easily explained the doors being closed in my face moving forward. She did allow me to use her cell to call my dad. That was about a pointless call. Dad was in charge of the family trust, despite all of us being adults. Maybe it was because I was adopted, but dad was always unwilling to release any money out of the trust for me outside the yearly gifted amount from interest to keep from paying taxes on the interest. Seeing the text Brad sent to everybody and the way dad has always been, it was no surprise when dad turned his back on me. He pretty much turned me away in his usual diplomatic way, “I don’t want you to have a bad day, so I will let you go. We will be praying for you.” I pretty much had no choice but to leave Debbie’s front porch in a hurry. It was made clear I would have no place to go. The subzero temperatures kept dropping due to it getting dark. As I turned from Debbie and walked back to my car, the tears let loose with abandon. There was no way to control them. It was very clear I could not stay in Missouri anymore. Being the middle of winter with just my car to stay in, it was clear I had to find someplace warmer. There was no way I could stay warm running the car day and night for very long. I needed to find a new life with almost no resources and no money, and fast. But first, I had to have a good cry. I was still in shock by the rapid change of events in my life. It hurt to know that after all I had done with, and for Brad, he just abruptly turned his back on me and walked away like I was nobody. The nobody I was raised to be by my family. The nobody I moved away to get away from. With Brad, I was somebody for the last four years. After much crying and deliberation, I figured I had enough gas and money to go to Texas. It would definitely be warmer during the days and not quite so cold at night. Jobs were easier to find there. I could go back to being a nobody and became hopeful of starting a new life where nobody knew me. It was quickly settled where I was headed. Not exactly, but at least I had a direction. It would be slow-going between the roads and the tears. But, I sucked it up the best I could and headed down the road, Texas bound.