At his disposal

Chapter 19 - A werewhat?

Nathalie POV

I slowly opened my eyes trying to figure out where I was. It was dark in the room and it took my eyes a minute to get used to the low lighting. I could feel myself laying on a bed tucked in between pillows and silk sheets laying as comfortable as a princess. My eyes fell on the big curtains drawn before the windows, sealing out the light, and then I felt it. The tingling sensation of someone staring at me. I could feel his gaze staring into my back and I turned my head so quick I felt a sharp pinch in my neck. Even though the room was covered in darkness I could see him clearly. He was staring at me intensely watching my every move from afar with so many emotions crossing his face. One I was sure of. Fear. He was afraid. Of what I didn’t know, because as far as I remember he wasn’t the one waking up in a new bed after what had happened the night before…

All the memories came rushing back to me and I felt my hands move to cover my mouth as I let out a gasp of realization. Just as I did that, I saw him winch his face in hurt and he looked towards the floor away from me.

But even though I was still shocked by everything, all I could think about when he started to move towards the door, was to remove the hurt and fear from his eyes.

“D..Don’t… Leave me.” I stuttered out, my throat all dry, and he stopped in his tracks still with his back turned towards me. He didn’t answer me, nor did he move one bit. I raised my voice trying to sound sterner this time around.

“Please don’t leave me, I promised you that I wouldn’t leave, so you can’t either.”

I fumbled out of the bed forcing my legs to move towards him across the room even though they still felt like jelly. As I reached him, I put my hand on the back of his right shoulder and watched as his all-tensed body got even more tensed as if that was even possible. I could feel every muscle under his shirt in the palm of my hand and I shivered from the contact at the memory of what had happened to his beautiful body last night. I was shaking a little and I couldn’t tell if it was out of fear or just that I was still in shock. Nonetheless I opened my mouth yet again.

“Alexander, turn around and look at me.” And he did. Or almost. He turned around so that his body was now facing me, but his gaze was still locked onto the floor as if he was afraid to look at me.

“Look. At. Me.” I demanded from him in a stern, yet soft voice and he slowly tilted his head locking his eyes with mine. I could feel the sadness streaming out from them and I just couldn’t bear to see him like this, no matter the circumstances. I raised my hands and cupped his cheeks in them and felt him relax a bit closing his eyes and letting out a sigh before opening them again just to lock gazes with me once more.

“Don’t hate me, I promise I will leave you alone if that’s what you want and never bother you or your life again, just don’t hate me.” He said with a low raw and husky voice sounding as if he had been crying.

I didn’t answer him, not because I didn’t want to but because I didn’t know what to say. Last night I had told this man standing before my eyes that I loved him. But now only hours later everything had changed, and I wasn’t sure of anything no more. Definitely not on how I felt about anything that had happened. At least not most of it. But then it hit me. I was sure of one thing. I could never hate this man. He was looking at me in defeat thinking I indeed hated him since I had left him with no answer, and that’s when I saw a little drop forming in the corner of his eyes and just as it fell, I caught it with my thumb.

“I could never hate you; I don’t know what just happened last night and I have no clue about how to react to it, but I know that I could never hate you. I still love you, no matter who or what you are.”

He looked at me in disbelieve through his glossy eyes, as if the words that had just come out of my mouth couldn’t be true, but then with no warning he crashed his lips down on mine taking me by surprise lifting me up and hugging me so tightly while he made me straddle him. And in his embrace, I felt so safe and for some reason I just wished to stay like this, and for him to never let go.

He walked us towards the bed and put me, so I was sitting in between his legs with my bag against his chest. He caressed my hair and placed his chin in the crook of my neck.

“I’m so sorry for all of this” he breathed out.

“Don’t be.” I just stated emotionless.

We just sat like that for a while. Even though a lot of questions were running through my mind I didn’t know how to ask them.

Like;

Where do we go from here?

What does this mean?

Are all your family like that?

Will you hurt me?

Can I see it again?

What are .. and then it just burst out of me.

“What are you?”

“I’m a werewolf.” He answered me with his breath close to my ear. I felt a little dizzy again and tried to calm my sudden heavy breath.

A werewhat?!...

…

Alexander POV

I couldn’t believe this woman. I had just shown her something out of this world. I was sure she would be running screaming anywhere away from me. But here she was surprising me yet again.

Sitting between my legs this close was something I never could have hoped to experience again after what had happened. Even though she was all silent I enjoyed the closeness, and I couldn’t blame her. I couldn’t imagine what most be going on inside of her head trying to grasp around everything she had witnessed. And despite of all that she still loved me. At least that’s what she said.

I felt her tensing under me and her pulse going up as my chin was placed in the crook of her neck. And then she broke the silence.

“What are you?”

I was kind of surprised at her question. Of all the questions she could have had she asked me this one? The one which to me seemed obvious.? Maybe she just needed it confirmed?

But then again, I needed to remember that she was new to all of this. New to this world, how would she know anything about what I was. Of course, I had to explain everything to her even the most basic. And I would do so open and honestly, answer her every question and meet her every need as long as it meant that she would never leave me.

“I’m a werewolf.” I answered her and felt her breathing get heavy. Oh god no, please don’t faint on me again, I thought to myself but then I felt her calm down under me and I let out a sigh of relief.