Fragments of Us

It's not my fault i have my father's eyes

Healing takes time and so does not healing

I try to remember,God,i try to remember everything in details, but memories do fade and the harder i try to remember,the more it fades,quitely but i want to know if there is a time things started to unravel.

That’s the kind of pain that makes you cry,not because of one moment, but because it stretches across time, quietly stealing everything that once mattered.

They said its the abscence of love but i said it was a wound deep inside,a place where self-worth tries to hide.

You cling too hard, or you push them apart,

For fear they’ll leave you, like he did, from the start,afraid that love, like his, will flee,

That no man will stay, not even for me.

It's not my fault i have my father's eyes, a resemblance i wear like a second skin.But it's in them that my fear lies.

I inherited more than just a gaze,i saw the world through them.If it was by choice or by fate, it doesn’t matter now, he took something with him. He took safety. He took the promise that love stays.So now, when someone tries to look at me,to really see me.I flinch.Love, to me, was a locked room.Not anymore,you changed that.

For you,my love, I wanted something different,better.I started to believe in love and believe in staying.I wanted something different,something better than what I’d seen.

I didn’t want to hand you a heart stitched together with trembling thread,I didn’t want to love you from behind walls built out of old ache.You made me believe that love could feel like warmth,not war.

like my innocence unraveling,as he tore through the threads of my childhood, a piece of my soul frayed.The small hands clung to you,but it was as helpless as my muffled cries,broken cries.

Walls closed in, suffocating and my heartbeat became the only sound,a wild drum of desperation against the crushing silence

And in that chaotic moment,the edges of reality blurred,my m

The silence that followed was deafening,and the years after,I grew up wondering what I’d done wrong,why it felt like a battle I couldn’t belong.

And in every broken heart, I found the pieces of myself unbound.The love had died in his grip but the chaos grew louder and years after so i kept praying he would look for me,choose me ,he never did.

So my father taught me everything by teaching me nothing at all.And each time, no matter how much it hurt, I kept opening that door, letting him in, hoping that this time would be different. That this time, he wouldn’t take the chance to tear me down. But he always did. He always found a way. And I was left wondering how someone who was supposed to protect me could choose, again and again, to hurt me instead.

It was as if my dad held a key, one I didn’t even know existed, to the most vulnerable parts of me. Every time he hurt me, it wasn’t just a blow to the present—it felt like he was reaching into my past, tugging at all the moments I had looked up to him, trusted him, believed in him. The hurt was layered, like he wasn’t just wounding the person I am now, but the child I once was,the one who thought he could never do wrong.

He taught me early that love’s hard to find,that arms that hold you can as well as break you and so i grew up searching, but never quite sure,

Does parenthood really guarantee safe and healthy parenthood?Is a parent's love really unconditional?

If love is a gift or some kind of cure,i wouldn't know and love does not just leave.Because love, when it leaves, doesn’t just go. It takes pieces of you with it and all you’re left with is the ache, the longing.But i dream of a future where i'll be free,free from a father's love.

Father it's your fault i looked for love in the wrong places and it's not my fault I have my father's eyes.

"I let go of my claim on you,it's a free world."