In His Trap

Why is this always happening? Why am I so slow and always getting distracted in doing stuff, even when I try to focus and be fast? I have to head downstairs, grab lunch and be out of here before I get late for class again. Though, I have to skip breakfast again. I sigh in distress while in the shower as I end up being lost in thoughts - in memories of my friends - my friends who are very protective of me, especially Alfred, and are the only ones that understand me more than anyone else. What would I do without them? Those angels - my friends. Ever since they came into my life, I have never felt lonely and unsafe. I even begin to see making imaginary friends as pathetic, though I try to remember their names - the names of the imaginary friends I made when I was five. But it doesn't matter anymore, does it?... “Dammit! Gosh, you really need to stop zoning out,” I said to myself, “okay, okay. Let's just rinse off the soap and leave this place.” Now, I begin rushing, putting on my uniform as I barely tucked in my white shirt into my red pleated skirt before putting on the red waistcoat. I grabbed my boater and my bag, running out and almost spraining my ankle. It even seem as if I was going to trip on the stairs. And that's how I got to school. At first, I thought I didn't leave anything at home and I was surprised about it. It turns out that I actually left my lunch behind. My aunt sends me a message to my phone; she is coming with my lunch to my school, so I won't get hungry during lunchtime. This makes me think of Lilah. That girl eats a lot, honestly. And it turns out that she never gains weight... “No! Stop getting distracted,” I said to myself once again, snapping out of the detachment from reality. ••• Being caught many times staring blank into space, it makes me even wonder the reason for these experiences of detachment from myself and the world even. And now, I really wish my friends were attending my school. I never get zoned out when I'm with them. They are the reason I stay focused, and eventually became top of my class, even when I haven't met them physically yet. It makes me wonder, once again, why we can't even do a conference call, or a video call to see their faces. However, anyway, we still do calls. We would talk, laugh and study together for hours... “Gwen!” Sylph, a classmate of mine, yells out my name; interrupting my thoughts. It's lunchtime, I'm in the cafeteria having lunch and whiling away time by detaching from reality, and Sylph is distracting me. I accidentally dropped my sandwich on the tray in fright because of her, which gets me a little annoyed about it. “What?!” “I've been yelling out my lungs, calling your name.” “Sorry about that, I was just... zoning out,” I apologised to her while being eyed by her for a moment before she speaks. “Anyway, there's gonna be a party this weekend. Beginning from Friday night by nine to Saturday, which will be Abigail's birthday. The invitation card I'll send to you has more info...” “Wait,” I interrupted, “you didn't even ask if I was gonna come.” “Well, are you not?” She asked, “besides, Luke is coming and there's no way you'd wanna miss that, right?” Wow, she now knows I have a crush on him. However, why is she using that to get me to attend a birthday party that'll last for two nights? What is she up to? She'd never invite me for anything, whatsoever. Though, I've always had a crush on Luke since 9th grade. Each time he passes by, my heart would skip a beat. And after that, it'll start racing, making my face heat up. I'd always hope it never showed on my face, but it always did. Well, good thing he never got to see the embarrassment on my face. Well, he doesn't even look at me, or does he? Perhaps, that's the reason his sister, Sylph, is inviting me, right? Is he finally starting to notice me, or am I just overreacting? I think I should just stop thinking about this and forget about it... Or perhaps I should... “Gwen, Gwen!” Sylph yells out my name once again, but this time, with anger; trying to draw my attention. “Oh... sorry...,” I apologised again, “I'll think about it. Thanks for the invite.” “Yeah,” she eyes me once again - very suspiciously before turning around to take her leave, “I'll be waiting for your reply,” she finally exits. ••• It's been a long while since I last spoke with Alfred. Perhaps, he's just been busy with stuff. He's such a good listener, and he's also so good with words, almost behaving like Linda. Perhaps, she taught him how to flatter girls with his words. That girl is really good at flirting with literally anyone. What a wild girl she is. “Enough, now, let me just call him,” I said, while dialing his phone number. The phone vibrates, but suddenly, it became... ‘Line busy’. I wonder why it does that. But whenever I call him, using f*******: Messenger, it always goes through. I decided to go to f*******: Messenger, but then I find out that he turned off his active status. I wonder why, though. Alfred's always online on f*******:. It makes me even wonder what he does. He hasn't even posted anything on his profile ever since he created the account, which tells me that he isn't a digital creator. What a weirdo. Can I just ask him? We can start a conversation from there, right? Right? Right...? •••