Saving Moxie

Damian Lake

We had taken a cab home after our date, knowing that Jamie was too intoxicated to drive and of course he refused to let me drive. My mind was still reeling with the information that he was practically a cop. I had poured my soul out to him.

Stupid, stupid. I berated myself the whole ride home. What if he had been wearing a wire?

I knew that Jamie would have found a way to tell me if that had been the case. He wouldn't want me to incriminate myself unless he knew there was a way out of this for me. At first, I had told myself that he was just trying to get information from me to put me behind bars, but the way his fingers grazed over my arms so lovingly told me that I could trust him.

The whole ride to the Lake residence, I fought the nausea in my stomach. Even the thought of sitting around a table with two cops made me want to vomit up my breakfast. I hadn't slept much the night before, anxiety ripping me apart at the seams. Jen seemed to understand that I would be at a touch and go basis with work, but she did seem worried. I knew there were bags under my eyes from fighting with myself all night. The tea I had drank all night hadn't helped to make me feel any less restless. Jamie had offered me a sleeping pill to help me, but I declined. Even when he offered other ways to wear me out to sleep, I had refused.

The Lake residence was beautiful and very modern. Nothing like I had expected, yet fitting exactly in a way I couldn't explain. The house was a nice blue color and the colorful flowers around the outside made the whole place seem to light up with cheerfulness. I assumed that with how much despair Damian saw on a normal basis made his wife want him to enjoy the little things in life.

Jamie was ever the perfect gentleman, holding open doors for me and complimenting me over and over again on my sundress. I had even brushed my hair and wore the heels that Jen let me borrow the night of the party a couple of weeks back. I knew I probably looked like a mess from not sleeping, but as Nell opened the door and gushed over how beautiful I looked, I thought maybe I didn't look as bad as I felt.

"Don't mind the house, we are doing a bit of construction on the guest room." She smiled, leading us through to the back porch where a small covered table was set up with four cups and a kettle for tea. I was tempted to ask her if she had anything stronger to drink, but I thought better if it as Jamie's hand settled on my lower back. It was as if he was trying to anchor me in place so I didn't turn around run away. Jamie and Nell discussed construction and design plans for the guest room project, which I found odd and not interesting at all, but as Damian joined us, the conversation seemed to turn toward a more business-like feeling.

"I don't think I've ever seen you so quiet, Moxie."

I grunted, avoiding his gaze as he seated himself at the small table beside me. He looked completely different than I remember him; a bit fuller and older, and while I had gotten used to seeing him in a uniform, now he was wearing a soft polo shirt. He almost looked like he had just finished a round of golf and was taking a short break.

"I wanted to thank you again for your work on Nell's tattoo. It is really special." Had his eyes always crinkled in the corners when he smiled? Had I ever seen Damian smile?

Since when did people smile at me at all?

"I'm glad you both like it. It was an interesting project."

"Nell, honey, do you mind bringing out the sandwiches you made? I think maybe Jamie and I need to have a chat." Damian said in a way that made even me feel safe and warm. I could tell that Nell was completely under his spell, but also knew what he was implying. I wondered how much of this had been pre-planned.

She excused herself in a cheery way that surprisingly didn't annoy me as much as Alex-the-Waitress had the night before. I wanted to ask if I could join her, but I knew the point behind her leaving was to have a discussion. How much of this brunch would be business talk? I felt dirty for even being here. Inwardly, I hoped we hadn't been followed. What would happen if Jack found out we were having a meal with a cop?

"So Moxie, Jamie tells me you had a visitor the other day."

Straight to the point. All business. Jamie put a hand gently on my thigh as if to steady me.

"Okay, let's cut the s**t. How much do you know? I need to know what my options are and if I hang out here much longer, I'm going to develop hives."

Damian laughed in a deep throaty way that surprised me. It was as if he hadn't expected me to act this way or that he was also surprised by my attitude.

"Your name is so fitting. Moxie." He shook his head at his own joke and I rolled my eyes. "Let's not beat around the bush. We've been keeping an eye on Jack for some time now for his activities, but until the last year or so, we didn't have enough evidence to put a small time drug dealer away. And let's face it, Moxie, you're good. It's like you were always ten steps ahead of us, no matter what we did."

My face turned pale. I was ten steps ahead? Did Damian think I was the brains of the operation?

"I just showed up when and where Jack told me to go and partied."

"We both know that's not exactly true, is it?" Damian leaned close enough to me that I could smell the mint of his gum. "Maybe at first. But after a while, you stopped doing the drugs, didn't you? We have photos of you in the car nearly every time Jack picked up a new shipment. At first you looked like you were bored or sleepy, but after a while you started going in with him. Did you negotiate the deals? The price?"

"I didn't negotiate anything." I snapped, fingernails digging into my palms and reopening the sores from the night before. "I had to go with Jack for security. I never met his employers. Jack always told me I was his accomplice."

"From what I understand, you are the face and brains of the operation."

I blanched at his words.

"Is this not true?"

"Of course not!"

"So you were just along for the ride. Completely innocent. You didn't sell to any minors or negotiate prices or enforce payment?"

"Damian, stop." Jamie barked as my stomach rolled. Sweat collected on my forehead and the world felt like it was spinning. I knew I could never be free.

"Moxie, I just need to verify your story. I need to know what you were and weren't involved in before we can discuss how to help you." Damian's smooth charming voice was back now, soothing me back from the brink of hysterics. "You have to understand, I will help you as much as I possibly can. But I need to know what options we have."

"I told you! I told you, you can't help me!" I all but yelled at Jamie. Nell started to return to the table with what I assumed to be small sandwiches but when she heard my hysterical yelling, she turned on the heel of her foot and walked right back into the house.

For the second time, I wished I could disappear with her.

"Mox, baby, I swear, it will be okay. We'll discuss our options and go from there. But you need to tell Damian some of what you told me." Jamie cooed, rubbing my leg as if it would soothe me.

"Jack told me we were business partners. He paid our rent and bought me food and would buy me really nice things for a while. It was nice because I never got to have nice things growing up. Then eventually, he told me I had to pay my own way and that there wouldn't be anymore hand outs." I let out a shaky breath as, for the second time in my life, I gave someone a glimpse into my world. "For a while, it was one big party - I would do drugs with the kids at parties and flirt with the guys that intimidated Jack. He told me I was there to convince the kids that his drugs were safe and worth the money. When I told him I didn't want to do it anymore, he flipped out."

He had broken two ribs and ripped a giant patch of hair out. For a while I thought my throat would never turn back to normal color from the bruising, but the pain in my arm from where he bent it backward was the worst of it.

"After he messed me up, I vowed to myself that I would never let a man throw me around again. I started getting better at hiding pain and Jack thought it was fun to make me a punching bag and show me off to his buddies when he went to pick up shipments." I added as Damian sat back in his chair.

"Do you know who he works for? If it's not you, it must be someone who is using stories about you to fuel their power." He seemed unconvinced.

I shook my head. The only person I thought scared my father was the guy who forced himself on me when I was a teenager. Really, everything bad about our relationship had started when Dax held me down.

Be quiet. Shut up! His voice rang in my head.

"There's a guy... I think his name is Dax or Dex... it's a little foggy. I think Jack was afraid of him. He really liked me, said I was an asset and that Jack should use me as their superpower." I shivered at the memory and my stomach churned again at the memory of the way his breath smelled like alcohol and how his stubble scratched my skin when he forced his lips against mine.

"Are you taking about Dax Lucas?"

"Uh, maybe?" I asked slowly, my eyebrows knitting together. "I'm not really the first person to get privileged information."

A low sigh escaped Jamie's lips, a look of realization registering on his face. And fear.

"Dax Lucas is one of the biggest drug dealers we have ever tried to track down. He's so smart that we can never actually catch the son-of-a-b***h. He operates above bottom feeders like Jack." Damian whistled. I could feel the blood drain from my face. "No wonder why he wants you."

"What do you mean? If he's so big and bad, why would he want anything to do with me?"

"Do you play chess, Moxie?"

I scoffed. Who had time to play games when you are living in a nightmare?

"The Queen is the strongest piece on the board. It has the greatest range of attack. They can take out any lower pieces pretty easily. If you have control of a good Queen, you can win any game of chess."

"He thought he controlled me. But I've got a smart mouth and he doesn't think he can trust me anymore, I'm sure."

"I'm sure he still thinks he does control you."

"So if I'm the Queen in this scenario, what does that make Jack?"

"The pawn. Literally and metaphorically."

Jamie shifted uncomfortably in his seat. My anxiety was gone now, but it seemed to have only funneled into Jamie.

Nell returned for a second time with sandwiches, clearly thinking that the majority of my outburst was over. Her presence added a bit of comfort to the table and I silently thanked her.

"Would you be willing to wear a wire?"

"Absolutely f*****g not." Jamie demanded before I could agree. "We're not putting her back into that situation again."

"Moxie?" Damian asked me, raising his eyebrows to me as if it were my decision to make. And it was.

"I... is it safe?"

"Probably not." Damian answered slowly, taking a sandwich for himself and taking a hearty bite before offering me one as well. I shook my head and balled my hands in my lap.

"Dax is a ticking time bomb. If he finds out you're wearing a wire, he'll kill you, no questions asked." Jamie thundered, throwing his hands into the air with frustration. It was as if he couldn't even believe we were discussing the option. "And he would find out. We've tried it before. It's not an option, Damian."

"We didn't try it with anyone as strong or smart as Moxie."

While the words did make me feel a touch better about the suggestion, I still didn't like the odds that Jamie could be in danger if I were found out. I didn't care so much about what happened to me anymore - I deserved worse than death for everything I had done in the past, but Jamie was good. He didn't deserve to be dragged down with me.

"Our only other option would be an immunity deal. We would bring him in and Moxie would have to testify against him in court. But with her involvement, she would likely still get at least jail time."

I buried my face in my hands. "I can't afford a lawyer."

"Don't worry about what you can or can't afford." Jamie whispered.

"Get her a phone, James. If Dax starts to call her, we should be able to trace it." Damian scrubbed his face with frustration and shook his head. Nell looked confused, but I assumed Damian would fill her in later on the parts she missed. "Call me immediately if you see or hear from either of them." He said to me. I nodded slowly. "Things are going to get real. You two need to decide now if you're going to be together at all times or not at all."

"Together. I'm not losing her again." My cold heart swelled two sizes.