A Wish To A Death God

If you are going to ask me, "Does Santa exist?". I will undoubtedly say yes. It is because he left a present to me this Christmas. There is nobody capable of sending me a present in that winter storm except him. I even saw him leave, and I saw that he wears that red clothing that you can never see anywhere else. Nobody else would do something like this without asking anything in return, nobody except him. Because that is how we all know Santa. A generous man who will give anything that a good child wishes for at the day of Christmas. As he left our house and makes his way to the other without a care to the terrible weather, I saw the glistening of a blade as if he carries a long sword with him. At that time, I thought I saw his sleigh. I do wonder if that sleigh is invisible cause he doesn't have anything to ride on. **** There is a wide garden occupying about half of the land of this decrepit wooden house. There is also a small man-made lake there with rocks surrounding it. A bamboo shoot with water passing through it that lifts up once it is empty is creating a pak sound from time to time. There are also plants found near the walls that seems to be arranged and carefully taken care of by someone. The beautifully arranged flowers are blooming elegantly as it gives the garden a radiance that is like no other. Inside the house that has passed a long history, a girl of about the age of 14 silently sat in a futon with blossom design. It is something that was newly bought by her parents for her. She looks at the garden with her dull eyes and pale face, just like a doll but it can be seen that despite of it a smile is pasted on her face. It was a small smile but it describes how much the view gives her great splendor. At this time of the year, flowers blossoms and trees are in their brightest shape. This is the time of the year that winter has come to an end, and a new beginning has started with spring. With how beautiful this garden could be, Kaede spent her time viewing it while she can. After all the time she had left in this world is limited. **** Timeline: a year ago They say Christmas is the most awaited day of the year where you can receive presents. The time of the year where goodwill from others will make you happy, or even a visit from friends and relatives to make you smile. There is nothing more wonderful than that. I had live half of my life being in the hospital. Thus for someone like me, there is nothing else that I want from Christmas. After all, I do not believe that Santa do exist. He cannot take my illness away from me. My friends, my family, the doctors and nurses are already there for me. There is nothing else that I can wish for. I do not need a gift from someone who only exists as a fictional character. I am no longer a kid now if I am thinking about it this way, I guess. Anyways, at that night, while me and my friends are happily conversing, I saw my mom and dad talking to the doctor. That is the first time I saw my mom's worried face, and the doctor seems seriously discussing something to them. Then, as I opened my first present, I saw my mom suddenly crying in dad's arms, the latter taking her away from my room. They probably thought I wouldn't notice, but I know something bad had happened that make mom cry. Mom is a brave person so I know she will not be acting like that without a good reason. Too bad, its Christmas so we can't be sad. At the time they come back, I will show them my best smile so that all worries would fade away. Just one smile and we will be happy altogether again for sure. At that day, the last present I receive is a news that I have about a year left to live. **** Timeline: present Everything that had happened last year seems like a dream. No matter how terrible things might be, there are still good things that could happen. I am living thinking positively despite of being aware of my impending end, after all, we can't have everything in our favor. I thought of this way after everything I had been through ever since that news reach my ears. In the past, I felt extreme anger at everyone, I felt depressed for I can't do anything in this disease that I know nothing about for no one ever dares to tell me what it is. I felt all the regret possible even shooing all of my friends away in a violent manner. Then I prayed, and then, after months of thinking realizing that there is no point in venting my emotions, that it cannot change anything, I finally accepted my condition as it is. My family and I left the hospital and went to our ancestral house in the province. And this is where I will spend the remaining days of my life. The house is old, decrepit and obviously not renovated for a long time. My grandparents enjoyed living here though, they even told me that they can see spirits living here. I felt afraid of those words, but what am I to do? Were impoverished to the point we can no longer pay my hospital bills. My parents have no other choice as things are going hard for us. I am already thankful for my grandparents' hospitality with me here. But despite of what our situation may be, I find solace in the garden which I can say is the most wonderful I've ever seen. "Kaede, don't you find this place cold? There are other rooms warmer than this", asked my mom. "It's ok mom. I like being in here", I answered. "Ok, but don't tell me I didn't told you.", after saying that, my mom left and unpacked the other baggages. As I looked at the garden, I found myself mesmerized with it no matter how long I stare. It is like looking a small paradise of my own. For some reason, I find this a nice place to die. **** One night, I find myself awaken at the middle of the night. That is where I find a man in black on my opened room, but the weird thing is that he is holding a large scythe at his back. More than that, I find his black outfit resembling that of a ninja perplexing. Is he a cosplayer perhaps? Wait, he has a scythe with him. Does this mean that he is a shinigami (death God)? Is it my time already? Isn't it too early? Today is only December 2, not even a year yet. Can't it wait a little longer? Oh my Gosh!! He is so good looking with his scary red eyes and black hair, but he is still a Death God-a shinigami, so he's going to take me. Why now?!! I panicked, of course who wouldn't but I realized that he is just standing there and not doing anything. Huh? I waited but nothing happened. I am perplexed. Then what is he doing here? He does not seem to notice me yet. **** Days after that, this Death God remained by my side. Slowly but surely I tried conversing with him, mostly out of curiosity. If I were to weigh my fear of him and my curiosity, the latter will surely win. It's hard to talk with this guy though, for he just remains silent and not even moving. To the point I am suspected by my family as delusional because I am the only one who can see him, but they let me be not because they had given up on me, rather, for they can't bear to argue with me and make me mad that could worsen my condition. "Uh..Hey there, Mr. Death God." "..My name is Kaede Yumeno. It's....ugh....good to see you again here." "Can you please talk to me even once?" This guy never flinches, just sitting in a seiza position in front of the door allllllll day. He just sits there like an old man in a seiza position and not flinching. So instead of getting worked up talking to him, I decided to tell him stories that I know. Most of it are what I know about the Christmas holiday. I told him about what people mostly do during Christmas like buying, giving and receiving gifts. I specifically detailed the description about gifts. How we people celebrate Christmas by being together with their families, eating kotatsu and just having fun at that day. I wonder if my words I had been saying is even reaching this guy. I cannot see what he feels about it but talking with him somehow keeps my heart at peace. I remember how often I read stories about Christmas when I was still in kindergarten, I love it so much that back then. I still believe in an existence like Santa Claus on those times but ever since contracting this disease, I find that there is no worth believing in him. It is for the reason I know Santa can't grant my wish that I want to leave the hospital for this disease is what makes everyone sad. "Up until now I do wonder if he is real. If ever Santa is real, he should have left even a single gift to me right?", I told him for no reason in particular. My sickness gets worse as each day passes and who knows how early this Death God beside me will claim me. "My wish might be too much for him". After saying that, a cold tear seeps out of my eye unknowingly, I tried wiping it away but it continue to be a waterfall of tears instead. I can no longer tell him much today. Who would have thought that while I was crying my heart out, that guy glances at me at that time. **** My grandma told me that spirits are attracted and attached to this house for no reason in particular. It might be because it is already old or this is where they had last died. Grandma also told me that ever since I had arrived here, most of the souls that were always here suddenly had vanished. I believe in her words, my grandma has an eye that could see spirits among our family, and despite her age is very lively and energetic than me. The thing is she cannot see the death God in my room for some reason. She do not even notice that he has been there all along but despite of that, she do not consider me as a person with a wild imagination like my parents. And lastly, for I can imply that the Death God might had already claimed their souls. That could be the reason why the ones residing in our house are reduced. I keep those thoughts to myself as I let the days pass by. **** "Ohh!!!! Winter. So freezing!!", I exclaimed. This guy doesn't seem to feel the cold at all. His stoic appearance is the same when I first met him, not even moving an inch. He is sitting outside like the chill outside is nothing to him. "You're really creepy you know, I can't even feel Christmas is coming with you around.", I looked at him and he seem to shrug at that comment though only a little. Ohh.... so you do react huh. How boring. I thought. "Mom told me a strong storm is coming. It had been aired at the TV in the market this morning she said. Now my friends can't even visit me. How am I supposed to live the remaining days of my life now?" And how am I suppose to think of Christmas when I know that my days is going to end so soon. It is not because there is a lot of me left to do but I cannot think of anything but became helpless in this situation. I really feel disappointed here. This terrible cold is making my condition worse. The heater inside the house isn't even of help. The garden is now a pile of snow. The scenery and the flowers planted there isn't as beautiful as before as it was in spring. I suddenly sneezed from the coldness now seeping into my skin. "You know it's really cold here. Why not stay inside instead? You know I won't go inside if you wouldn't", I asked him with the intention of teasing him. To my surprise he stood up and took the scythe with him before going inside my room. He sat at the corner of the room like it is the most natural. thing to do. "I thought you are just insensitive, like a statue or something. But you do have a heart huh", I then proceeded inside to sleep at my futon. "You really are strange... But I don't hate it. I like it." I will never forget this day, you know. As I thought of that, I just had remembered that Christmas will be only two days away. **** I can't sleep. I feel weak to even sit up. Everyone around me is worried about me since morning arrives. My mom never left my side ever since then. I can feel the warmth of their love all this time that I wanted to be strong so that I can last even a little longer. I held my mom's hand and never let it go. My father is not here at the moment but I know he is doing what he can. He even brought their own futon to cover me so I will remain warm. I am surrounded by love that is more than I can possibly bargain for. I glanced at the wall, and there is where I find him, that everstill Death God, looking at me. Sorry, but I'll do my best to live longer. **** The storm had arrived. The walls and even the door are shaking profusely because of the strong winds. This house provides no warmth as the cold mercilessly enters the room. But despite of that, I remained calm. Tomorrow is Christmas. Who knows what will happen then. As I close my eyes I uttered a little prayer,"If wishes do come true, I hope that before I die, I can receive a present." During the day, for some reason, the Death God is missing. Not seeing him at the corner somehow makes me feel bad. Maybe I have been too accustomed on seeing him in my room everyday. The howling winds won't stop. I have my family beside me. My mom and dad are holding my hand tightly. I can feel that they are afraid that they might lose me anytime soon, and my grandparents stayed and slept near me. All of them are here with me in my room. This winter storm is truly scary to the point that everything would be wiped out at any moment. I do wonder if I am bound to perish. I can't even celebrate Christmas properly, I can't even see the garden one last time, and I can't sleep with my body aching so much knowing I might die at any moment. But it might not be that bad. I have my family beside me. We are all together. There is nothing I can wish for. Klinging, klinging. I can hear the sounds of bells from outside the house. The kind of bells that are small but creates a cute jiggling sound. I might be hallucinating for its weird to hear those sounds especially at a time like this. As I tried to close my eyes, the door suddenly opened wide. The strong winds entered our home like a tornado. Ohhhh.... So.. Cold. My family got alerted and tried to bring me to another room. But as they lift me up, I saw a present at the door, I pointed at it for I can't talk with my sore mouth. My father seems to notice what I am doing and brought it to me while my grandfather faces the cold and close the doors as tightly as possible. I am glad that the gift is not only a figment of my imagination. A gift miraculously paved its way to me. Its really weird. But the weirdest is what I had seen outside before the door had closed. It was only for a moment but I believe that I saw a man in red clothing walking in the snow. He has a huge scythe lying on his shoulder. He glanced over his shoulder, and for a moment I saw Santa on his presence. Though his lips are not smiling, though his eyes look scary, but that face like of a tame wolf is very radiant to my eyes. I felt happy to the bottom of my heart. He is undeniably handsome in his own way. I no longer care what is inside the box. To receive this kind of kindness for the last time, My wish had already come true. I'm so happy. This is the first time in my life that I will receive this kindness from him. Thank you Santa, my Death God. Despite feeling a lot of pain within me, I can feel tears forming in my eyes. I do not even know if I am smiling or not but the fact that I am filled with this much happiness is a gift already. I have my family with me, and I received a gift from a wonderful person. I am blessed with everything at this very moment. I no longer have a sliver of regret. With this, I can finally pass away peacefully with the best smile I can make.