The Catcher, By Author JAB

Twice Count em Twice I were blue on a Monday And two times after that… I still don't remember it ever snowing in Downtown LA on Christmas … Merry Christmas Same to you and the horse I rode in on It was spring Not too hot Shaken is literally literally too cold to be so hot in June but hey it's July tomorrow so what's ya say Yes I'll have a big Mac two fries two cokes and something lite like fresh but not served chilled "How bout an apple pie that smell great but looks too disgusting to sit thru at desert" That sounds good I'll have that "Okay one large bunffet coming up" Even as I prepared to taste the McDonalds (ask for royalty sponsor) goodness I could... Amen…. You know I don't usually say this Cause I live alone But wow Look who could this be Friday the met I'm smittened but geeez Yeah hi one large big Mac "Two cokes?" Two cokes two fries and one cherry Bahama momma "Two cherry code ya" What's the cherry code? "It's slang for stop it's him" "Yeah your him" Like the dude. Ohh And I taste yee little one like a tanked these fries (Coke) Don't mind if I do Mmmm So that was it butt f****d by McDonalds for a side of ketchup with every apple pie The richest I hate em Look at the singing and dancing all the way to their next home cooked star I never had a home away from house meal I bet there good Yeah I have a reservation "What time?" (Checks his watch) It's 6 o'clock Umm 6 o'clock "Oh well seat in just one moment" "Ma evening party for six" What six I said one "No I said six, you said one" That's what I said, party for for six "Right this way" Hey you got McDonalds here? (Punch) That's it I just couldn't stop writing One word turned into two two into three and three, well was one more way to say "live from new York" But we weren't in new York, this was Orlando California And no fun occurs anywhere unless it's accompanied by signed Roy or Roy Rogers I'm starving, who's up to sing? "I'll go" Ohh now who could this be… (Picks up imaginary telephone) Hello.. "Yes hello" Yeah that I said hell-o "Yeah your gonna wanna pay for those" What the double question fist to your face? "Yeah I gotta go" Listen. Buddy if I don't get my nut off I'm gonna nut all over this stage… This was the making of the Catcher Too legit to quit, or precisely put, it's lit Just a bit of that to rhyme with this…#homerungunner Not you. Get that gasstained purse out my face Place first day ace I'm with him Class Act! Great show Lance What'll it be? "A sasperilla" Do we make sasperilla? "I don't know do you?" Yeah you can just get out of here if you don't order something else.. Okay I'll have a johnny walker "Yeah your at a 6 we're gonna need you at a 2, security… "What seems to be the problem?" "Yeah…#comedyman over here said...did he just hit me? I think he hit me...arrest him" I didn't hit her.. "I think you did, let's go" So there I was back in black again It was Friday and I was up… "Please welcome Lance (Do the line) I'm sorry I'm not at home where you should...Logan (On da mic) "Haaaaaaaa...yeah I'm Lance Logan and this is how to train your dragon…" I did that comedy routine for six maybe seven years It was going okay until someone said I was good But then again I could have talking out of my ass Today's what (the opening date) Yeah It must have been my ass cause no hookers ever slide into p***y without a trip to the batters box "Yes yes yes" Ahhh I'm coming I'm coming "I'll get a towel" What?!?? Here c*m on this.. So I came and it was in "I got it in..finally" Awww what are doing? "I don't wanna waste it...mmmm yeah ahhh" She took that towel, after I came… "Of course" "Of course" And blurted out so many antsemedic curses it was scary were weren't at sleep away camp for the zone I mean she f****d my conscience up so bad that still don't know what I would have done if I hadn't been paying attention Eww she ate it.. Yeah but it was more like she inhaled it into her scalp It was by far thee grossest and by far the coolest "Do I tipped her!" "Wait how much" I have here two season tickets to see sigfred and Roy "Don't want that" Why not it's standup like me? "Just pay me the money or no more free trips to the sizzler " The sizzler...with me?" Okay there's one there's two there's four...keep the change "They're isn't any" Okay Yep. I'm out… So the candy corn can't left and I was out 300 hundred better blowjobs I mean to think, if I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner then who the hells gonna tip the bartender for serving those 300 blowjobs???? ???????? The End © TheJosephAnthonyBartolottaPublishingCompany