Unexpectedly Bad

8: The Cold Him and The Mean Girls

                                                                      L   U   N   A

     He had not spoke anything to me since the last time we met at the bench on the street and it had been two weeks since he showed up at school after missing for half a month. I tried to make a conversation with him, but he kept on ignoring me.

     Monday.

     I purposely dropped my pen during Biology and asked him to get it for me. He did. But, he just put my pen on the desk in front of me without saying anything. He did not even look at me in eyes, he kept on avoiding my gaze.

     Tuesday.

     "I like your shirt." I said but no response.

     "Have you done with the essay?" I asked and he nodded his head, still looking away. Well, at least, he was listening.

     "Are you sick?" he shook his head.

     Wednesday.

     On Biology, we were paired to do a project. He did really well of what he needs to do. But, he kept silence all the time. I tried to make a small conversation but he either shook or nodded his head.

     After P.E., I offerred him water but he shook his head and walked away.

     Thursday.

     "Hey! I have the same cap! But, mine is white." I said while looking at his black ASSC cap. He did not respond, he just nodded his head while looking to the front of the class as if he was paying attention to the lesson.

     Friday.

     "Aiden, I was just wondering, do you have any problems with me? Did I do something wrong?" I asked and he shook his head.

     It was the next Monday today. I saw him at Biology and Music, he still had not spoke any words to me. I wondered what was wrong. This guy was sure full of mysteries.

Did I mention I love mysteries?

     We were talking nicely to each other a couple of weeks ago. He even let me touched his hand. I thought we were friends after that day. But, I guess he did not. We were not friends. What's with him and his change of attitude?

A   I   D   E   N

     "Hey?" I looked up after I heard the very soft voice greeting us. It was her. She was standing there with food tray on her hands. I was too lost in her eyes, I didn't even bother to see what was on her tray. She was smiling. Let me correct that, she was fake-smiling.

     What happened to her?

     Is it because I've been ignoring her lately? But, why? Why is it such a big deal for her that I'm ignoring her? It's not like her life depends on talking to me, is it?

     Don't bother to ask me why I had been ignoring her. Sometimes I was not sure of what was wrong with me either and I wished I could control my anger and stop hurting people around me.

     I wish I can love someone and be loved.

     But what is the point of loving someone? They're going to leave you in the end.

     Love is temporary, it's not worth it.

     I did not think I would be able to love again, or to feel so loved again. After all the things I had caused, the harm, the way I treated people, the way I pushed them away, no one would love me. No one would love me the way my mom used to love me.

     The thought of getting married and settling down, just like what my mom always wanted me to do, it scared me. It was her dream to see me happy with my life. She waned me to live with the love of my life, she wanted me to treat her right, not like how my father treated my her.

     My mom had enough sorrow. She was scared, she was scared that I would treat women the way my father treat them. My mother did not want me to grow up and be like him, I did not want it either. Everytime I think of that, it made my head spinning around like crazy.

     If I kept on continuing with my attitude, my temper, and limited patience like this, I was afraid that I will grow up like my father. It was not like that I wanted to grow up like him, but, I, myself, did not even know how to control it. I wished I could change, change into a better me.

     All these times, I had been trying to figure out how, and I thought that I needed someone to help me with it. Someone that actually cares, someone that loves me with passion, someone that can be strong when I'm weak, someone that wouldn't turn their back when I'm at my worse, someone that would stay at my best and worst, through thick and thin, in happiness and sorrow, someone that could help me change myself to a better me, someone that would never leave me no matter what happens.

     Someone who could bring back the lights after the dark days.

     "Wassup, Luna? Miss me already?" I heard Ray said in a high tone, I didn't bother to look up, I kept looking down to my plate.

     "Can I sit here?" I heard her say and I quickly look up to see her still smiling, she keeps on blinking rapidly while looking down at me. I could tell that she was nervous. Her voice was shaking and I could see pain in her eyes. I kept wondering of what happened to her?

     "Yes, ofc-" Ray couldn't finish his words I cut him off.

     "No."

     God, I wasn't planning it to came out that cold.

     There was silence before she said, "O-okay." I kept my head looking down to my plate, I could not see her face, I could not see the more hurt in her eyes when I said "No." I couldn't bear seeing the hurt in her eyes. I was not sure of why I couldn't.

     "Dude, what was that for?!" Ray snapped at me once she was already walking away and I ignored him.

     "Dude, Seriously?" he said again as I continued trying to focus on my lunch.

     I brought my head up and my eyes started roaming the whole cafetaria, searching for her, while I was still sitting on my chair. And, there, I could see her, she was only a couple of feet away from us. She was walking with her head down, before she crashed to Michelle.

     "Ooooh my God!" I heard Nicole screamed as her friends gasped. I watched as Luna accidently spilled her orange juice to Nicole's clothes. "This is designer!"

     "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Nicole." she quickly put her tray on the nearest table and she took tissues from the table with trembling hands, "Here, let me help you-" she was trying to wipe the mess on Michelle's clothes before Shelby took a step forward and shoved Luna until she fell on her butt.

     "Watch where you're going!" Shelby snapped at her.

     "I'm, I-I'm, I'm sorry, I didn't see you guys, I'm-" her voice was shaking, she couldn't finish her sentence because Caitlyn cut her off.

     "You definitely should pay for what you have caused. Don't you know how much this clothes worth?"

     "Okay, I'll pay, just tell me how much." Luna said with her soft voice while standing up.

     Damn it, I felt so guilty for not letting her sit with us, I mean, what was so wrong on having her sitting with us? Jackson wasn't here at the moment, she could've just taken his seat. If I let her sit with us, she wouldn't be so sad, walked with her head down and crashed into the bitches. s**t, I'm such a jerk.

     "Shut Up! I don't need your money! I hate you so much, Luna Lynch! I hate you so much! I don't know why was I even friends with you all those years!" Nicole snapped.

     f**k my ears, I could f*****g heard Luna sobbed. Is she- is she crying? Oh, s**t.

     I watched Nicole walks away, followed by Shelby and Caitlyn. But, Michelle was taking a can of coke from the nearest table before she shoved Luna back to the ground and poured it to Luna's head. She showed a devilish smile before turning around and walked away, following her friends.

     "s**t! Bro, look at that! You can't just let her sit with us?" Ray snapped at me before standing up and ran towards Luna. I glanced at Tristan, he was just staring at Luna blankly.

     I watched Ray as he helps her get up. She turned her head to me after standing up. God, she looked so broken, so helpless. Guilt washed over me as I saw her broke down to tears. Ray quickly held her wrist, wrapped his arms around her upper back and led her outside the cafetaria, probably heading to the restroom to help her cleaning up.

     I was not sure of what happened to them. I heard from people that it used to be Luna, Michelle, Caitlyn and Nicole. Some of them who attended the same school with the girls said that the four of them had been friends since third grade in elementary school. They split up when they started freshmen year. I was not sure why they turned their backs from Luna and it was none of my business, but I was guessing, it has something to do with Shelby.

     That b***h.

     I felt so guilty, so so guilty for not letting her sit with us. She was so kind to me, she still talked to me even when I was ignoring her - which I always did -, she still smiled at me even though she knew that I wouldn't return the smile. She was so sweet, so f*****g sweet, she cared about a lot of people, she still cared about Nicole, Michelle, and Caitlyn even when they were mean to her. How can I be so mean to such a really sweet girl?

     "Y'know what, bro? You shouldn't be so harsh on a girl." Tristan said before continue focusing on his lunch.

     The blame was on me.