The Playboy's Touch (Book 2)

Chapter 1

Celeste laid back on a chair with her eyes closed as she took deep breaths.

Her dark curly hair was tied back into a thick bun and a golden yellow ribbon around it that matched her dress.

“Well you look like you’re having the time of your life.” I told her.

“I’m too tired to open my eyes and glare at you.” She mumbled.

I laughed as I played with her 3 year old son Mario. He had Celeste’s curls and dark eyes but Arthur’s golden hair. He sat next to me playing with wooden figurines that he kept trying to put in his mouth despite me pulling them away and telling him no.

“Your son is stubborn. I wonder where he could have ever gotten that from. Definitely neither of his parents.” I teased.

“Again, I’m too tired to argue.” Celeste mumbled.

I laughed and turned back to Mario who had focused on stacking his toys. In a minute or two I heard Celeste’s soft snores. I didn’t want to wake her for a knew she was exhausted so I kept handing Mario toys.

Celeste had dedicated every waking moment of hers to raising Mario. Everyone urged her to let a nurse care for him but she refused. She knew what it was like to grow up without a mom and she would not let that happen to Mario. She was going to be there for everything-even if it meant not sleeping.

She was even more tired today since it was the day Arthur left for an entire weekend to be with Charles.

Charles had made it clear three years ago that he intended to leave his title and estate to Arthur. First he needed to make sure numbers, payments, taxes and families that depended on they were in order before he left. He also needed to teach Arthur every little detail about being an Earl. Things would have gone much easier and quicker if Mario hadn’t entered the picture even before Celeste and Arthur were married.

I continued to play with Mario and found myself completely content at being by his side. I felt complete just sitting here and watching him play and talk to himself. I knew I loved Mario, I loved him as much as I loved his mother-my best friend and partner in crime.

But I knew that when I left and went back home, the feeling of contentment would fade.

I didn’t want to admit it to anyone but I wanted a family. I wanted to be a mother, and a wife. I wanted to be all of this not because it was expected-but because I knew it’d make me happy.

Mario’s eyes began to droop and I scooped him into my arms. I cradled him against me and he fell asleep in seconds.

As I sat there with him in my arms I smiled at the idea of being a mother, but I knew it was only that. An idea. A dream.

Because no one would ever consider of having a family with me.

No one would want to marry or desire a woman with a disfigured leg.

———

I remembered the exact day when my life turned upside down. Growing up, I crawled and walked like a normal kid. But as I continued growing, I began to trip over my own feet and then could barely stand by myself. The day before my first day out in society, three doctors told me that the condition of my leg was irreversible. I had a condition, in which my left leg was a bit shorter than the other and my knee had grown to the side rather than straight down as others. They worked together to form a brace for me, one that they told me would help me walk around and stand. It would also help me with the pain but they were honest and told me that I would not be able to run, walk for long periods of time or dance.

That night I had cried in my mothers arms. I sobbed when I realized that my plans in finding love that season had been crushed. I knew that no man would want me or fall in love with me. There was no chance that I could find love, especially if I couldn’t go on long romantic walks with a man, dance with him at parties, and especially not seduce him when I wanted to give myself to him.

I cried even harder when I realized that the only way to protect myself from heartbreak was to close myself off completely. For years I was known as the witty, charming, and flirtatious Rachel. Everyone was confident that I would find a husband Immediately, they told me I was irresistible. But things had changed. I realized I was no longer desirable.

The day before my world had fallen apart, I had bought the perfect blue dress with elegant white gloves. I was so excited to meet men who were interested in me. But then, I threw away any dress that would catch anyone’s attention. I dressed in dull colors, wore my hair in a simple bun or braid, and rarely smiled. At first, men thought I was playing hard to get so they continued to pursue me. But then my irritation and pain of knowing that I would never find love, began to come out and I pushed them away with my rudeness.

Even my own father, who was already known as a horrible and violent man, told me that I was an embarrassment and that my “disfigurement”would leave me without a husband. My mother, who was usually warm and shy, stood up to him. Whenever she fought back or try defending me, father would strike her.

My older brother, Oliver, always stepped in to defend us. Once he turned 16, he began to talk back and even get into fist fights with father. As a young boy he could only do so much. I remember one time were Oliver was 10 and pushed father away from mother, and father took out his anger on him. It was a nightmare, but my brother did not give up.

He continued to stand up for us.He would talk back and tell him that there was nothing wrong with me, that I deserved to be loved as much as anyone else. And that I would find love no matter what he believed. He also stood in the way when father kept trying to hit mother. Needless to say, none of us were upset when he passed away. In fact, the house felt happier and less suffocating. The servants, who had stood by us the entire time but never stood up to him out of fear, were happy that he was gone.

For eight years I had shut everyone out, everyone except Oliver and mother. They were the only ones who had seen me without a brace and saw me at my lowest. Sometimes I would come home crying after party because I wasn’t able to dance, and because I had to reject every single offer. Oliver went out of his way, to leave the party with me and dance with me at home. It wasn’t a long or elegant dance, but he was patient with me. He helped bring back some life and joy into my life. However, when he married and moved away I felt like my world began to crumble once again.

I no longer had my brother, my best friend, at my side. It hurt me even more when he told me that he did not marry for love. That he had to marry in order to keep our name respectable and that the arrangement has been made by father years ago without his knowledge.

If my brother, the kindest man I had ever known, was doomed to live his life with someone who did not love him, what kind of hope was there for me?

If my mother, who is beautiful and funny, had also been forced to marry a man who despised her, then what chance did I have? My brother and mother were both healthy and had able bodies, and yet they did not have the luck of finding love. This especially convinced me that I would grow old with my mother. She would pass away and I would continue to live by myself.

At this point, watching Mario play, I knew that at least I would have Celeste, Arthur, Charles and Mario in my life. I would find happiness in them and I would find contentment in helping raise Mario. I would never have a child, so I would love him with my entire heart. And I would never find love, so I would find happiness in seeing Celeste and Arthur in a happy marriage. And seeing Charles and Thomas love each other every single day.

This was my life now. And I accepted it. I was 26 years old and finally let go of the dream that I could ever find love and happiness.

It was the way life had worked out for me. And that was that.