More than this

Chapter 1 Only girls’ night out could save this craptastic day, a heck of a way to spend her thirty-first birthday. Quinn pushed through the door to O’Leary’s Pub and allowed the surrounding dark wood to soothe her. She needed to banish the images of the glazed expressions of her colleagues at the end of the workshop she’d presented. A night with the girls would lighten her mood. But Quinn was early and the others hadn’t yet arrived. Customers’ chatter washed over her, relaxing her, as she moved through the crowd. The noise offered welcomed anonymity. She’d spent months preparing for the presentation, but being exhausted from her ex-husband’s late-night visit hadn’t helped her enthusiasm. Nick was still messing up her life. Two minutes into the workshop, she realized she would’ve been better off spending the time in the classroom with her hormonal students. Her gaze scanned the room to find a source of comfort: Ryan O’Leary. Behind the bar, his lithe body slid past the other bartender. Perpetually mussed black hair swung across his forehead, barely concealing the dark slashes of eyebrows. Ryan reached out to grab an empty mug. He joked with patrons while he pulled the beer. His sleeves were pushed up, revealing toned, muscular forearms, the kind any woman would want circling her body. Ryan was a living stereotype: the overly friendly bartender who joked too much and listened to any tale of woe a person told. The thing was, she liked him anyway. Using the brass rail below the bar, she boosted herself onto a stool. The other bartender, who looked enough like Ryan that they had to be brothers, headed in her direction. Quinn saw Ryan tap his shoulder and overheard him say, “I got this.” A moment later, Ryan appeared in front of her. His intense blue eyes crinkled with his smile, putting her at ease. It was also the same grin he threw at every female in a fifty-foot radius. But she enjoyed it, even if it wasn’t just for her. He placed a napkin in front of her and asked, “How’s my favorite English teacher today?” Something about the way he asked made her answer honestly. Even in the middle of serving drinks, her response seemed to matter. She sighed. “I’ve been better. How are you?” “Busy, which is good. Teenagers giving you a hard time?” “No, it’s always the adults who are the problem. Give me a roomful of teens over adults any day.” She understood how to talk to the kids, and it didn’t matter if they liked her as a person. “What can I get you to make your day better?” “Frozen strawberry margarita.” Misery over her failed lecture swamped her. She began to think not even Ryan’s warm smile would break her funk. She’d been counting on the success of the presentation to give her a boost with Principal Carlson to get the Honors English position next year. Dwelling over Nick’s news made her day worse. Of all people to be blessed with a baby! He didn’t even want to be a parent. Someday she’d celebrate pregnancy. Unlike Nick. Someday. Someday had become her mantra for years. Someday had already taken too long. She had no baby, no husband, and she hadn’t fought for a job she really wanted. God, I’m such a wimp. She wasn’t going to wait for someday anymore. Thoughts of babies took over her brain. Ryan returned with her drink. Over his shoulder she caught sight of a cow with an O’LEARY’S PUB sign hanging from its neck and a photo of a burning building stood behind it, an image from the Great Chicago Fire. She’d never noticed it before. “What?” The question startled her. She hadn’t realized Ryan was still there, watching her. “Nothing. I love the cow. Are you related to the infamous Mrs. O’Leary?” He chuckled. “No, both my parents are off-the-boat Irish. My dad thought it was funny to let people think that.” Quinn looked over her shoulder toward the door. “Waiting for someone, or did you just come in to see me?” Ryan teased. She turned back to him. Her toes curled painfully in her too-tight navy pumps. How this man managed to put her at ease one minute and make her feel nervous the next baffled her. “I’m meeting my sister and our friend.” “It’s good to see you here on a day other than a Friday. I was beginning to think you only came in because the other teachers made you.” It wasn’t far from the truth. A friend from school had convinced her to at least put in the effort to socialize with colleagues. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the other teachers or didn’t want to be friendly; she didn’t know what to do with herself in social situations. Her sister, Indy, had inherited Quinn’s share of the social butterfly genes. Strangely, over the past eight months, O’Leary’s had become a comfortable place for her. She appreciated the friendly atmosphere. Ryan’s flirting made it enjoyable. “I like it here. Your bar makes people want to hang out. And guys don’t crawl all over women trying to get their attention.” He leaned closer and she caught a whiff of his cologne, woodsy with a hint of spice—or maybe it was just him—and she almost moved in to sniff. She had expected him to smell like alcohol, but he didn’t. He’d never been so near before, and the scent distracted her. She recovered in time to hear him add, “If you ditched the stuffy suit, more of these guys would hit on you.” Heat crawled up her neck. “What’s wrong with my suit?” The navy pleated skirt and matching blazer was her best business suit. Granted, she only wore it for presentations or parent–teacher conferences, but it was the most professional-looking one she had. “It’s not sexy.” She shook her head. First, the man sucks me in with a gorgeous smile and great smell; then he insults me. “I’m not looking to get picked up.” “Sure you are. Everyone is.” She sipped her drink to cool her throat. Self-consciousness made her straighten her pleats. His gaze bore into her, but she couldn’t meet his eyes. “Thanks, but no thanks. My ex worked in a bar, and I swore I’d never make that mistake again.” “One ex-boyfriend screws up, so every man in a bar has to pay?” He looked at her skeptically, as if her point was ridiculous. She’d learned plenty from her three years of marriage to Nick. As a bartender, he’d spent his nights surrounded by flirtatious women. Nick would tell her, “Hard to ignore women throwing themselves at you.” Like most men, he didn’t know how to stop at flirting. “Ex-husband,” she shot back, realizing her tone implied his critical look earlier had been dead-on. “Most guys who are looking for a woman in a bar are not serious about anything. There might be a few who are nice guys, but I’m willing to risk missing out on those to save myself the grief of dealing with all the rest.” He stepped back and leaned against the register. “Don’t you ever wonder if you’re missing out on Mr. Right by shutting down a proven method for meeting people?” “Who says I’m looking for Mr. Right?” He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows in disbelief. Okay, he had her there. She was always hoping for Mr. Right. Unfortunately, he didn’t seem to be looking for her. “I don’t think a guy picking up women in a bar is looking for a woman like me.” His grin was slow and slick and spread smoothly across his face. “Think you’re that special?” Despite the embarrassment gnawing at her—she was not a braggart—she flashed him a grin of her own. She briefly tried to remember her reasons for not spending more time talking with him. “I know I am.” “You know, I like you. Can I buy you dinner?” She felt a blush heat her cheeks, and she fought ducking her head to hide it. “I told you I’m meeting friends.” He looked at the ceiling and tightened his lips before speaking again. “I didn’t mean now. I meant some other time, at some other place.” “I don’t think so,” she said quickly; then she saw Kate winding through the crowd. “My friend’s here. I’ll see you later.” She eased off the stool and signaled to Kate. She couldn’t believe Ryan had actually asked her out. He flirted with just about every woman he saw. She wondered how many he asked out on an average night. She and Kate gravitated to a semicircular, high-backed booth. Kate looked as tired as Quinn felt. Did Kate ever sleep? Having three small kids had taken its toll on Kate’s once-elegant appearance. But even in old jeans and a sweatshirt, Kate exuded a confidence Quinn didn’t possess. “Thanks for driving in. I appreciate it. I wasn’t sure what time I’d get out of my meeting and I really needed a girls’ night tonight.” “Of course I’d drive in,” Kate said while pulling her into a quick hug. “Happy birthday. I don’t think I’ve ever been here before. It’s a nice change. Part of me misses coming this far into the city.” “I like it.” “Hi, guys,” Indy said as she reached the booth. “I haven’t been here in forever.” “You’re on time. That’s a first.” Quinn slid toward the center, placing herself between her sister and Kate. “Happy birthday, cranky-pants.” As Indy sat, the waitress arrived to take their drink order. “I was in the area showing a house. You couldn’t have picked a better spot.” As they placed their order, Quinn scanned Indy’s appearance. Everything chic, from suit to hair and makeup. After her assessment, she asked Indy, “Know what I was just thinking about?” Indy shook her head and waited. “My Someday List.” Indy’s nose crinkled and her coral-colored lips spread into a wide smile. “Really? You still have it?” “No, but I was thinking about what a failure it was.” Kate interrupted, “What’s a Someday List?” Quinn answered, “It’s a list Indy and I started as kids of the things we wanted to do someday, when we were older and could do whatever we wanted.” “Like what?” “I don’t remember everything. Most of it was typical stuff. Go to Europe, fall in love, get married, buy a house, have kids.” The last thought sank in her stomach. Indy laughed. “I remember thinking your list was boring. I had things like skydiving, snorkeling, and having s*x in public on my list.” “You’ve accomplished all that and then some, haven’t you?” Quinn said, both admiring and envying Indy’s adventurous attitude. “You know it.” Indy took a long sip of her drink. “What made you think of the Someday List?” Quinn sighed. “Nick came by last night.” “Looking for a birthday bang, huh? Was he worth it?” Kate quickly touched her hand. “Please say you’re not thinking of getting back together with him.” “God, no.” “Uh-oh. Vulture at eleven o’clock.” Kate’s warning had Quinn and Indy looking up, but the height of the booth blocked the view. “At least he’s cute. Rock, paper, scissors?” Quinn groaned. She always lost this childhood game. “Can’t we flip a coin?” Indy responded with, “One, two, three, shoot.” True to form, Quinn lost. Damn. She hated to be the one to turn a guy down. Her toes tapped inside her pumps as anxiety itched at her. She stared at her hands and practiced her response silently. “Hi, ladies. Enjoying your evening?” Without looking up, Quinn began, “Sorry. We’re not . . .” Her eyes wandered up the length of faded jeans and a well-worn rugby shirt, and found his gaze already locked on her. Relief swallowed the anxiety as she smiled up at Ryan. “Oh, it’s you.” The killer grin bore into her. Her hands twisted in her lap while she tried to figure out if he’d overheard their conversation. “Colin?” Indy asked as she studied his face. Ryan’s shoulders stiffened. “No, Ryan.” “Oh my God. It is you.” She placed a flat palm on her chest. “Indy. I worked here about eight years ago.” His brow crinkled as he focused on Indy’s face. “Yeah, I remember now. You used to sing while you worked.” “It’s been too long. How’s your dad? I’d love to see him.” Indy’s voice rose in excitement. Just when I thought my day couldn’t get worse. Indy bounced from the booth and wrapped her arms around Ryan in a quick hug, peppering him with questions Quinn could no longer hear. Her heart pounded in her ears. Her stomach plummeted. Not Ryan. He was hers. Well, not hers, hers, but this was her place. This was where she came to drink. Her friendship with Ryan, however slight, was hers, not something Indy had handed her. Quinn’s chest tightened and her nails dug into her palms. In one swoop, Indy would take him from her. She could never compete with her sister. His flirtations, however ridiculous, would stop. And she would miss them. “Did you have a problem?” he asked, leaning his arm on the back of the booth. Quinn’s attention snapped back. She schooled her face to hide her embarrassing childish emotions. “No, we’re fine, thanks.” “Sure? When I asked about your evening, you started to say you’re not . . .” Heat crawled back up Quinn’s neck. “I was going to say we’re not looking . . . for a man. I thought you were some guy hitting on us.” “All of you beautiful ladies can’t possibly be taken.” Indy ran her finger around the rim of her glass. “Well, Kate’s married and I’m involved, but Quinn’s—” “Not looking.” She poked her toe at Indy’s shin. Ryan’s denim-blue eyes focused on hers as if she sat alone at the table. She prayed he wouldn’t ask her out again in front of Kate and Indy. That would be mortifying. “If you need anything, please let me know. Enjoy yourselves.” He nodded to them and left. Quinn watched him move to the next table before turning to Kate. “You could’ve warned me.” “Who is he? He didn’t stop at other tables. He made a beeline for us. I’d say he aimed for you after he caught your reflection in the mirror.” Kate pointed at the mirror hanging on the wall across from them. “I think you’re right, Kate. Looks like Quinn’s got an admirer.” Indy inched closer, waiting for some juicy gossip. “What’s the deal?” “There is no deal. I come in here on Fridays after work. Ryan and I occasionally talk.” Kate reached out and put her hand on Quinn’s arm, warm and firm, the diamonds of her wedding band glittering. “Honey, that man is not looking to talk. Mark has only one thing on his mind when he gives me that look.” “If he’s interested, why not give him a chance?” Indy asked, leaning out from the booth to check out Ryan’s a*s. “He hasn’t changed much since I worked here. His dad ran the place with Ryan’s brother Colin. They’re both yummy.” Quinn should’ve known. How could she possibly keep track of all the places Indy had worked? If she crossed all of them off her list of places to go, there would be few left. Indy’d had more jobs than most. She always bounced around looking for something better, more exciting. Indy nudged Quinn. “Why not go out with Ryan? He’s obviously into you.” “He’s pushy and overly friendly and he’s too cute.” He gets under my skin, and you had him first. Indy snickered. “Oh, yeah, that’s a reason to not like a guy. Charm. A total deal breaker.” Quinn couldn’t control the eye roll. “I don’t think he’s interested in me in particular. He’s too smooth. It’s like he can have any woman he wants and he knows it.” “So can Brad Pitt. Doesn’t make him any less attractive.” Indy took a long drink. “He’s a player. I’ve already gone that route. He’s no better than Nick.” Comparing Ryan with her ex-husband hit a bull’s-eye. Nick had sucked her in easily with his charm, and he had been a mistake. Voicing it out loud made her feelings more real, a more acceptable reason for avoiding Ryan’s advances. Why was she scrambling to find a valid reason? “You have to admit Nick was fun. I bet Ryan would be too.” Indy wagged her eyebrows as if Quinn didn’t understand. Quinn huffed. Kate interrupted. “Anyway, back to Nick. Why did he come to your house?” “He pretended to want to wish me a happy birthday. Brought me roses, which he should know I hate. He really came by to tell me he got someone pregnant and he didn’t know what to do.” Indy said, “Figures. It was only a matter of time. Anyone we know?” “I didn’t ask.” She twirled her glass in front of her. The strawberry slush was nearly melted. “That’s what got me thinking. I’ve been sitting around waiting for life to happen. It’s time for a change. I want a baby.” Indy shook her head. “I’m not following. You want a baby because Nick’s having one?” “No. I want a baby because I’ve always wanted a baby. I’m just tired of waiting for it. Nick’s visit was a wake-up call for me. He’s moved on with life, and I’m running on a treadmill. I need to do something different.” “How the hell do you get from ‘I need to do something different’ to ‘I want a baby’?” Indy looked angry and Quinn couldn’t figure out why. “I’ve always wanted a baby. I’m ready to have one. I’m not going to wait anymore.” “So you just decided to get pregnant?” Quinn rolled her eyes. “Have you ever known me to just decide to do anything? I’ve been researching options. I want this.” Kate had been suspiciously quiet. Quinn had been counting on her support. “It’s really hard, Quinn. I’m married and it’s hard. I couldn’t imagine doing it all alone. You’re picturing the fun times. There’s a lot more to it. Babies don’t fit into a tidy, organized path.” Shit. This wasn’t going the way she’d thought. “I know that. I’m not stupid. I can handle the unexpected.” Indy choked and almost spewed her drink across the table. After dabbing a napkin against her mouth, she said, “Who are you kidding? You are the queen of orderly plans. You don’t do anything outside your comfort zone.” “I’m going to work on that.” Quinn waited and slowly said, “Yeah, summer is coming and I’ll have more free time than I’ll know what to do with. I’m going to use that to figure things out.” “You’re not teaching?” Indy asked. “Remember, I told you I refused to teach summer school because Carlson passed me over for the Honors teaching position.” She’d been questioning her rash decision ever since. Maybe it was petty and juvenile, but it had felt good to not be a team player for a minute. Indy shook her head. Her long blond hair slipped over her shoulder and down the front of her jacket. “I know what you said, but I didn’t think you’d actually follow through. If you have the summer off, I think you need to expand your horizons.” “Okay . . .” A familiar knot settled in her stomach. Indy with a plan always made her nervous. “You need to move outside your comfort zone.” Kate’s eyes lit. “That’s a great idea.” She pulled a notebook out of her purse. “Okay. Let’s start. This will be fun. Let’s make a list. What’s first?” Quinn stared into her drink. “I say we start with my list,” Indy said. Kate looked at Indy with wide eyes, like a mother telling a child she didn’t need a cookie. “You don’t need a list.” “I mean Quinn should do the items on my list. Those’ll break you out of your rut.” Quinn’s face warmed at the thought. She couldn’t do Indy’s list. Especially s*x in public. Right now she didn’t even have anyone to have s*x with in private. They sat in silence for a few moments. Quinn added, “It would be fun to take a cake decorating class. It’s something I’ve wanted to try.” “Oh, yeah, more classes. Really thinking outside the box. Haven’t you done enough school?” Indy’s sarcasm hung around Quinn and threatened to ruin the mood. Kate wrote down the suggestion. Her sleek, dark ponytail bobbed as she took notes. “Leave her alone, Indy. It’s her list. I’d kill to be able to have time to do anything fun and unusual. What else? How many things are we looking for?” “I don’t know. How many do you think I can get done in a summer?” Quinn looked at the other two women, hoping for inspiration and getting none. “Maybe we can think about it and make the list next week.” Indy’s eyes lit. “Good idea. I’ll put a call out to women I know and get some ideas.” She immediately pulled out her phone and began texting. “Thanks, I think. So we’ll make my entire list next week. Let’s meet at my house,” Quinn offered. “In the meantime,” Kate interjected, “what are you going to do?” Indy’s eyes narrowed. “You need to date.” “Sure, go straight for the easy stuff.” Quinn’s sarcasm was lost on Indy. Her stomach flipped. Dating had not been very fruitful over the last five years. “How’s this . . . I’ll take public s*x off the list if you promise to go on at least five dates over the next two weeks.” Quinn’s jaw dropped. Of course Indy would name the one thing that would freak her out. Where would she find five men to go out with her? “How am I supposed to do that?” “Not my problem.” Indy winked. “Try the Internet.” Kate smiled and joked, “Issuing a challenge like that is kind of low.” Quinn stared at her sister. Finding five dates would never be difficult for Indy, but for her it was a challenge of huge proportions. “Look, you said you’re in a rut. This’ll pull you out. Consider me your tow truck.” Indy usually got her own way, and without her Quinn would’ve missed out on a lot of fun. Indy was right. She needed to get back into dating. “Fine. You win.”