Burnt Flower

First Trial

My need for a life of romance was quite short-lived during my days in secondary school and unlike some who experience their first love during secondary school days mostly even junior school. My first love surrounded the list of games, movies and Novels. Now imagine my displeasure and how broken hearted I was when the Game boy (my very first personal one) which had become like a partner to me went missing. I almost went mad with grief. Love stories or Romantic novels were a bore to me then and being compelled to read them metaphorized the idea of living dead and when I started feeling the tingles of love and it components. I had no courage to face it head on either by proposing it to the opposite gender or even falling in it in the first place. Most of my endeavors revolved around writing love letters for friends who made it to the happy ever after or creating an image or memory of something romantic even when it never existed. I can recall one in particular, I so much hold it dearly that I began to hallucinate it true reality. It began with my having an imaginary wealthy friend who became rather close to me and at one point in time invited me over to his house. At his domain, his palpable girlfriend who I painted with so much unimaginable beauty came over and while they were having a discussion, I remotely held on to his video game he left in my control. At a point in time he left just both of us in the empty large room and after a while of awkward silence, she turned her attention to me and called out in such an angelic voice.

"Hi". I turned my head to her direction without looking her in the eye, clearly avoiding a confrontation.

"Hi" I replied meekly

"You're Leon right?". I really didn't have an idea on how to answer that bit, so I just kept mum

"I'm Mina" she paused. "You know Richard had told me a lot about you but I really wasn't expecting you were this cute in reality" Now that got me on hedge and fascinated

"Thank you" I replied weakly and when I dared to catch a glimpse of her, I dropped back my head almost immediately, searching the ground for what was never lost. She stood up from her position and came to sit beside me and for once I was lost in so much discomfort, phobia and acute paranoia just to say a little. Her perfume hit so hard. I found myself grasping for breath and trying to hold on to every single breath intently. Then she chuckled ever so lovingly.

"it's okay. I don't bite" her voice reminded me of a creamy cheese.

"You're a timid one" she continued. " you know if I'd known better, I'd say you're one hell of Prince of charms". that got me blushing hard and stupidly.

"Oh! that smile. It's okay, you can look at me now" I wish I had the courage to consent. but I just remained in my bowed position. Then I heard a slight giggle. she touched my chin with her magical fingers and slowly lifted my head so that my gaze met hers but I couldn't even hold a perfect stare as I kept darting my eyes here and there. It was has if she held me captive in her enchanting ember and I was but a lost restless spirit trying to break free from a spellbound. She laughed silently at my idiocy and before I could contemplate her intention. She melted her lips against mine and my eyes opened wide. Delusionally, that was my very first kiss, and it was somehow estranged given the kind of personality she holds. When she broke the kiss, I was so sweaty and embarrassed and I could taste her lipstick. She was smiling sheepishly. Not long after the scenerio. Her bf/brother came around and informed her they were leaving. She took off her bangles and handed it to me. I turned to my friend uncertain and he gave me an assurance smile. I took her bangles and she placed a slight peck on my cheek before whispering into my ears. "I'll see you soon". That was the last time I ever heard from her or at least that was the denouement of my dreamy story. Least best things happen in your fabricated dreams. My taste for ladies had mostly always been categorized by what I view in the screen, mostly indian women then eventually american ones and finally I ended up making a promise to wed a Korean lady someday. My mind was a lot twisted and manipulated by my own self deception as regards to the idea of romance. But even so, that never seemed to bug me. I just wanted a solace from the pains of celibacy. During my SS3 days. I managed to get myself hooked up with one particular friend of my sis. Randomly, it was all just a silly crush and as time pass by. I developed this connection with her younger sis. Let say I had a personal adoration for kids. Given that I was so much occupied with friending her. She just happened to swoop down from nowhere. It started on a particular night. I was with Rihanna (her sister) and she happened to be teasing me at that point in time. She came down to reprimand her and I couldn't let that stand. When I tried to interfere, she gave me this face that said "Mind your bizz Mr". I got a little bit tipsy and I found my feet retreating without further ado. After sometime. I saw Rihanna and she came up to tell me her impolite sis requested for my attention. Given the circumstance of my ignorance then. It seemed like heaven to me, on my approach she gave me this sweet smile and somehow someway. She'd suddenly become the pleasing soul.

"I was gonna ask you, you do have the Castle Of Otranto, She stoop to conquer, Native Son and whatever literature books you've read during your SS2 days" she was ever so sweet and there was no way I could have turned her down, not if I intend to do the same to my heart.

"I don't have them all, but I'll do well to collate and bring those I have to you" she was ever grateful and when she turned to leave. I blurted out

"Excuse me"

she turned back and my heart flipped.

"I was thinking, if by any chance you're in possession of novels. You see I'm a huge fan of novels and all" She tilted her head to one side, perhaps processing the words.

"I don't read novels... really so I don't have one for myself, but I do have someone who has a compilation of stuffs like that. I'll be happy to assist you get one" My joy knew no bound. First I'm getting the lady, then I'm getting the book. A complete definition of killing two birds with just a stone. Subsequently, she did brought me the novel and added that I narrate the happenings in it once I completed it. This brought about the huge desire not just to entertain my curiosity as to the content of the book but to also impress her to my very best act. It took me about two days to complete it entirety. On the suppose date of my story account, it was quite a performance and given that the novel was one of mystery and crime. It only made it much easier. She clapped me, more for my emphasize demonstration rather than the actual plot of the story. We got a bit close but that was all. I sneaked back to my solemn playful world and she...well she somehow obliterated from my universe even though it was just for a while.

My cousin, Marvellous auspicious arrival came to spice things up. He had shown up to continue his education at our domain and given that we'll be attending the same school. It all made more reasons for his enormous influence in my lifestyle. The first time we'd a discussion concerning romance and first love. He opened to me about a girl named Destiny. Said she mattered the world to him and from his personal perspective I'd say. She really did meant a lot to him then. He inquired about mine and I replied I was happy single.

"Like for real?..you do know you're not growing any younger right?. And on and on went the teasing. The next day, we got ourselves mixed up in a little play fun and somehow I figured out a way to lose his footwear. To compensate for my misdeed, I decided to take him on a shopping spree for a new one. He got so excited and kept making a lot of mocking remarks on the way. We got him a perfect wear and while on our way back. Aisha. (The girl I was all about) coincidentally happened to be passing by at the time. Staring at her gave me the Destiny chill. So just as we were able to cross the road, I told my cousin. "That's the girl of my dreams." The fool clearly astounded turned to her fading figure and screamed. "Hello ma'am. My brother just called you the gal of his dreams." the aftermath was quite dramatic. I flushed and hurried away in embarrassment and I could assume the ground was better consuming me at the moment. She blushed slightly and walked off. At home I was all scolding and my brother was all about how modest I was and how her action had implied her being interested in me. I didn't share the same view tho. I felt it was so stupid and he just made a fool outta me.

"but she did blush, correct?"

"yeahhhh" she was all red. My brother was so excited and I bemused. Subsequently, my brother kept pressuring me about helping my supposed situation. He believed I'm too awkward in doing what had to be done. He however figured out a way to friend her, Ngl, my brother was a super cute asshole and he had his way with words which made it even more easier. I couldn't phantom what was my dilemma with women. My presumption about them all changed as I grew up. I suddenly found myself considering them as something pure, something desirable, something soft and sweet and more than enough to make a man lose his consciousness. I got a bit intimate with their nature without having the actual gut to make an approach to any. So I stored a lot and more in my imagination. One day, Aisha suddenly appeared at our doorstep. Of course I'd time to conceal myself. She'd come to work on my mom's tailoring machine and rather terrifyingly amazing, mom had given her the keys to it. So she had to come to our place daily to work on dresses. This was of course uncomfortable. Leaving a life filled with your crush just at your threshold. My brother however made use of the opportunity properly as he got more closer to her. While I'm locked up in my lonely room, I'd hear them chatting away at a close quarter. And her giggles or laughter would have only made me assume how it would have been having her in my life. I was literally living a miserable lifestyle then. One of the most embarrassing day of my life? While they were playing their stupid game of hide and seek. I happened to be in the bathroom naked with the hope of having a peaceful bath. I could hear them screaming in excitement. Rihanna suddenly bursted open my room door seeking for the lost sheep and before I could stutter. She swung open the bathroom door and for once I could see my world collapsing and all I could do was watch. She stood shocked too and immediately slammed the door to my face. I stood frozen and shaken. and my thoughts were all so disorganized. I avoided her for a few days but that was it. The next time I saw her. She gave me a long hug and sang into my ear how much she'd missed me. That was clearly not expected but I come to understand her attitude speaks that which comes with tender age. My recompense however doesn't judge this assertion given that my childhood memories still somehow clogs to my being. It like I never left that world. A world in which I yet try to have an unsteady grip on. Anyways, it remained an open secret and literally no soul would have been able to proffer it except for those who are fortunate to see this book or her eventual discretion to tell the tale to some other party.

Time seems to move so fast and just one day my brother came to me in the dusk of an unsettling hour. I was in my room trying to study.

"I've done it". I looked up at him

"done what?" he started grinning like an i***t.

"what you couldn't". Being someone who's acutely sensitive to comprehension. my eyes instantly bulged wide open and I found myself breathing through my ears.

"No you didn't!"

"Oh! but I did" he had this sly smile playing across her face.

"And guess what?"

"Oh boy! what have you done?"

"she wants to see you" he was so excited. "she's prepared to listen to you. All you have to do is confess your undying love to her".

I stared at him irritatingly impressed at his beautiful folly.

"I'm not"

"what?" It was like I slapped him on the cheek with shit

"I'm not doing it"

"you're insane! This is the opportunity we've been waiting. This is your chance".

"we?"

" I mean you. whatever...what I'm just trying to say is. don't limit yourself to your own trepidation. We all need someone bro..."

"but I have you"

"not that dumbo!". I gave him a scowl and he rolled his eyes in a funny way.

"Fine!" I shut the book, shut my eyes for a second and opened them with a sigh."but I'm not promising"

"C'mon" he was starting to get irritated.

"That'll be all".

That night, I left for worship. They live close to that venue. So encounters can be somehow unavoidable. My presupposition that night was simple. Avoid the thought as much as possible but my imagination kept revolving about the possibility of it reality. I mean I was head over heels with her that wasn't controversial yet i wasn't ready for such premeditated outcome. Honestly, I was scared...shaken to the very core. So once I was done with my prayer. I gently sneak out only for my escape plan to be disrupted by my ever solicitude cousin. I sighed in defeat.

"what now?"

"she's just beside here". I faced down

"you can't give up now, the worst she'd do is say No!. Which I'm pretty sure is impossible." There was this sinking idea this was a really bad idea...like a terrible one, but I swallowed hard.

"Fine! but I'll never forgive you if this goes south" there wasn't anyway I'd be able to escape anyways unless I wanna end up embarrassing myself foolishly. He walked me to her while I was rocking uncontrollable in spirit. She was sited on a table with some of her friends and they were chatting away mindlessly. Immediately we arrived their environs. They suddenly went silent, and then came the swift incorrigible whispering. I broke into sweat and I saw myself collapsing into nothingness. It was like a set up or something and I was the ignorant bait.

"Hi Leon" Now my heartbeat had lost it proper beat and was gallivanting rapidly. My legs on the other hand were a mess as they kept hitting each other. I felt so dumb.

"Hey"

"Marvellous told me you wanted to see me"

"umm...yh..I mean.. .no..... somehow....kind of". She broke into a laugh and her friends were all giggling

"you're shyyy....awwwwn" she said covering her face. " don't worry, I'm shy too" she paused "you can talk to me tho. if it'll help I'll send away this pests so we can have a proper conversation"

"That won't be necessary...I just wanna ..". my brother hit my shoulder in an attempt to awaken some dead courage..."request....for a favor". She tilted her head to a side.

"oh! really?"I find myself biting my lips unconsciously.

"yes....what he meant to say his.." Marvellous was saying while eyeing me repulsively.

"I wanna be friends!" I blurted out. They all looked towards me like the actual fool I was.

"that's nice, I mean ain't we friends?"

"umm yh" my couz was staring at me indignantly. " I meant close friends" I rubbed my eyes with my fingers. distressed already. "I want us to be close friends" ...my voice was so weary and shaky. she gave me this slight smile.

"well.... judging from your character I think that'd be easy". My couz got disgusted and start to walk out in annoyance.

"will you be my girlfriend?" my voice broke. Then there was this silence that seem to last for forever. Clearly my brother was finally satisfied but she..

"I have to think about it.."

"I.."

"it's not a No!...but I gotta process it for a few day. If you don't mind". That sounded like a yes and I can feel myself tingling inside already. On our way home, my brother kept chiding about my lack of composure. I wasn't listening to him tho. just the sound of her voice. "I have to think about it". It was a dream come true...

The next day. It was a Yes. my blushes was as radiant as an early morning sun.