Unforgivable love

Victory for Violet

Blood coated the marbled floors and splattered up the walls, even coating the support pillars dotted around. Bodies upon bodies lay motionless with various wounds. Some being bullet holes, some being deep cuts anywhere the blades could reach. Another silent war won, another enemy taken down.

Violet sighed in defeat, her murderous ways finally catching up to her. She was exhausted, numb from all the pain she’d caused but what exactly could she do about it? Absolutely nothing, in her world it was kill or be killed. Her dad would be proud. The sickening feeling in her gut reminded her she was still a human, barely human but one nonetheless. Besides, twenty five against four wasn’t a fair fight, if anything she should be glad she survived with only a few scrapes. The same couldn’t be said for two of the other guys who seemed to hardly be holding on.

A part of her wanted to break down, cry on the floor, scream even. She couldn’t though. No. Her mind and body simply would never let her do such a thing. Training really did mess her up both physically and emotionally.

Wiping her hands clean from the blood that coated them she took a few steps to one of her injured men. She crouched down inspecting his wounds. The man seemed to have been shot a couple times, once in the thigh another in the shoulder and the final one in his lower abdomen. “Let me die.” He whispered, reaching out for her. Begging to be put out of the pain he was clearly in. So she did. Placing her hands on his head before harshly jerking her arms to the side, snapping his neck with an awful crack that echoed in the silent room.

“Is the blood on your hands dry? Because mine isn’t, it stays forever and it never goes away. But not for you. No, not for you. You can wash it away without a care in the world. Tell me little one, do you even grieve the loss of those you’ve taken? Or are you such an empty shell that you wouldn’t even know how to grieve?” Violet shrugged to Rafael’s questioning gaze with a nonchalant that bothered him to the core, she was truly lost upon. Just a little girl abused and forced to fit a mould that wasn’t made for her. Could she be mended though? Could she be brought back into that human shell again to feel things like a human again or was this nonchalant robot like being simply stuck in her tortures ways.

She knew Rafael briefly before she was whisked away from her sweet childhood that she should have had, but didn’t. In a way they had been childhood sweethearts. Trained by the same man and in the same small group of assassins. Then one day he just vanished, without a trace or any goodbye. She never held it close to her heart and it helped with her emotional training. In her eyes she’d just had her heart broken since she loved him at the time, he didn’t seem to care about her though. Not that she’d actually know, she never got the chance to ask after all.

There wasn’t a waver in her voice, or a hiccup with her un-shed tears, just her cold demeanour and heartless eyes. “I was a child at one point.” She spoke calmly, slowly as though finally letting her voice be heard. “I was loved, I had felt loved at one point. You was a part of that you know? But at such a young age when I had minor control over myself I had it all ripped away from me. I was taught to be ruffles, taught to be empty. How can I do my job if I have childish emotions trailing behind me?” Her tone was the same but the shift in her eyes was noticed. She didn’t want to be who she was but she never had a choice either. Her anger held behind glassy hazel eyes.

“My first lesson was coping with pain. Getting tortured by my own flesh and blood. At least I have a high pain tolerance for it. Then came the lessons on my emotions. Keeping something so important concealed for so long breaks a human, that was harder than the torture. Then came the training, be agile, be quick, think fast and stay smart. Don’t be vulnerable! Don’t cause a fight when you can have things done quicker if they aren’t aware of what’s going on.” She’d paused, took a breath and rolled her shoulders as if trying to ease how tense she was.

“Don’t fight? But have decades of training to only fight? Bizarre.” Rafael pondered aloud. He’d empathise with the girl, he’d been trained the same way after all. He just pulled the long straw unlike her. He escaped, she couldn’t run away from her mafia duties. Being the only child does that to you apparently.

“I didn’t get the chance to choose who I wanted to be unlike you.” She bit, glaring at him directly. She’d wanted him to feel her anger. “If my life had been a book I’d rewrite the entire thing, because my chapters have been cruel. Besides it’s too late to save me now anyway.” He’d hummed an agreement, barely audible but yet so loud. She wasn’t being accused of anything. It was just her and Rafael, who was slouched against a wall in front of her.

“I never needed to watch out for the monster under the bed or hiding in my closet. My monster was in those who were supposed to love me and at the end of it all those same monsters ended up within me. I was just a kid. I’ve always wanted to be a good person, to genuinely care for those around me but I can’t navigate this hate inside me to even think about the love I could offer instead.” A bitter laugh escaped her lips. After years of holding everything in she was finally sharing her feelings, though her muscles didn’t move and her eyes didn’t water she’d show it by words to someone who’d be able to understand her.

Sighing she ran a stiff hand through her curly locks, ignoring the dirt that gathered in it from the blood bath that happened minutes ago “my first kill was at 6.” She deadpanned, showing just how serious she’d been trained. “At that age shouldn’t I have been playing with toys and making friends with other kids?” Valid point really. That’s what a normal kids life was like, murdering someone wouldn’t even cross an average persons mind but she had been no average person. She knew that now.

Violet sheathed her blade, held a hand out and smiled ever so slightly. It didn’t reach her eyes but he’d understood. Rafael c****d his head to the side slightly, looking a little lost for words. “A truce.” Her tone felt lighter than the conversation she had a split second ago. “A truce.” Rafael smiled, linking their hands together letting her pull him to his feet in the process. To him this was a sign, she was no doubt meant to murder him but the fact she didn’t sent his heart on fire. To her however, she’d just failed. She wanted to kill him, watch the life drain from his eyes as he called for help but how could she do that to someone who was no different than her? To someone she’d shared such a strong bond with so many years ago. They’d both been raised like monsters and treated so brutally, she needed more people like that around to take some of the pain away.

Looking around at the mass of bodies that surrounded them Violet sighed, her mask slotting right back into place with a neutral look and not an emotion in sight. “I’m not cleaning this mess.” She’d half heartedly joked. Rafael chuckled, a deep sound that vibrated his chest. “It’s not my mansion so I’m not cleaning it either.” He joked back, slinging his arm lazily over Violet and guiding her to the back gardens. It might not be his mansion but he had been very well equated with the surroundings.

Another day done, another mission completed.