Love under water

My story and his. The greening leaves washed in the rain and the sound of rustling. Those wind-blown hairs gave off a mesmerizing scent. He walked past me, so I went through the crowd to chase his shadow. He was in a hurry on his bike, so I watched the red and green lights and the impassable cars. The seasons become faster and faster, and the twilight of the past becomes thread that binds what was. He and I both walked slower and slower along Sycamore Street, as if we were pulling each other in and as if we were brushing past. His lifted eyes seemed to sparkle with light, and as if they had never really been lit. In the distance, his voice sounded like it was floating through the dust, and And so my world was illuminated. So the wait becomes worth it. As if knocking on that layer of the door between us, everything went from gray to color I stood still and watched my city run in overdrive, while he seemed to live in the distance as if he were living a lonely life of memories We met at the end of the street as if we had buried a belated confession. This is Shanghai on 9.16.2017, the beginning of fall, and I'm still here. After a good bath at night, squatting on the bed to start writing a diary. Lift the pen, touch the wet hair began to headache, it seems a lot of thoughts do not know where to start, and as if a lot of things began to be like frozen tea jelly, revealing the original appearance. Diary: I've got a BF. (meets dryly) We met at the library. I met at the bookstore in our 18th city. A bookstore like that gets 10,000 people a day and I don't go there more than 8 times a year, yet a lot of things still happen with low probability. On this day, the sun was still shining, but the mood was not bright. I took my book card to return the book, the line to return the book is very long, around and around, and when it was finally my turn, I realized that the book card was missing, the moment I touched my pocket, I knew that my card was gone, I always fall off the chain in all kinds of important moments, of course, only in life, but this is enough for me to be entangled. Sorry, I'll go downstairs and look for that book later. I hurriedly bowed then explained, and in the sea of people in line, I made a fiery exit and ran downstairs. On my way out, I saw the operator shouting, "Next" with no expression on his face. It seems like this happens every day as well. I rushed downstairs to the desk to prepare to report the loss. "Sorry, I dropped my book card, I need to report it lost." I looked at my watch and then thought I haven't had lunch yet, why don't I just lose it and end I'll go get lunch. I looked through my phone and saw so many discount coupons in paypal and started searching for them. (I especially admire myself for always being calm when it comes to various situations) "Hello, I picked up a book card." A person's voice rings out next to me, crisp and unclipped. I move to the side without caring, feeling like time has slowed to a beat in this moment. "Okay, let's register over here." The lady at the desk hurriedly took the card and started to register, the sunlight just unconsciously sprinkled all around, as if the light all illuminated our reflection. "Oh, this is yours right, Miss Chen Xi, too coincidental, the card this gentleman picked up is the card you dropped." The service desk lady said in surprise. "What, such a coincidence." I hurriedly put my cell phone into my pocket and then picked up the card that the lady at the desk handed me, when I saw the cover of that card I knew it was mine, for sure, and my heart instantly opened up. "Oh my god, thank you, thank you so much." There was a burst of thanks, my mouth listed wide open, and the laughter lingered in the air for a long time before I looked up to see the man in front of me, the college student look-alike. And so our story continued doggedly. Two strangers, connected by a book card, with no warning, no future, like the scene of a car accident, just the two of us with our silly eyes and our overwhelmed steps. He is 2 years younger than me is still studying, is the kind of very cute boy, bangs dyed yellow hair, sports hoodie, sneakers, is now the kind of capricious children. I feel that my life can not be with such a childish people together, but I always soft, he a moment phone text message I can not help it, I now think back to what let me then will once and again pick up the phone, just a short contact with a few weeks of people, actually have like knowing a long time lovers feel. Maybe this is fate. After playing this after his class in my company downstairs waiting for me with me to take the subway to eat, a long time we also defaulted to this relationship, but in my heart I know that this kind of children is to play, so I have never taken seriously. One day we ate dinner in the state of the United States inside shopping, and then he took me together to play free games, is to sell electronic products, play the game on the prototype, when I suddenly felt with him together I seem to be nothing cared about, if before I would have felt that this is how humiliating to buy home to play even if it. After the game, we happily held hands and ran out of the mall to go to a nearby park together, on the way he held my hand is sweaty. I see him also do not speak, I tease ask him: "What's the matter with you? Having a bad time?" "No," he spoke a few seconds later, I don't know if it was shyness or if his bangs were too long, but I couldn't see his expression anyway, but he just quietly opened his mouth and said, "I want to cuddle. I sweat -_-||Then we made it to a seat and I hugged him and he suddenly pulled me tight and said: I don't think we look like a couple. "Why?" I began to wonder what this was if it wasn't a couple. "We just hang out, but neither of us do what couples do." "Couples do what we don't do?" I slowly pushed him away, thinking whether this man was off his meds or on the wrong kind of meds today. "Like, uh ...... kissing ...... or something ......" "......" I straight up sweated, and sure enough, it was a kid. "Then we can, too. " I don't know where I came up with that word. "May I?" "Right? I think it's his turn to be surprised." He was even sweating from holding my hand. Then we kissed together in the park, at that time I think his saliva got into my mouth. Since then he boy with the occupation of sovereignty seems to be, began to more and more bottomless, always from time to time to send a text message to say that I want to me! And I always cold reply to: "good class oh". "Listening." "Then concentrate." "What time do you get off work"? "What time do you get out of class"? "I'll be down in a minute, I'll finish at three-thirty, I'll meet you." "I can't. It's a leadership dinner today." "Unhappy ...... unhappy ......" "Play with yourself haha ......" Then I turned off my cell phone. In fact, there was no dinner in the evening, I went to KFC to eat a set meal by myself, and then I bought some fruits on the way home, I suddenly felt that his recent appearance has already disturbed my life trajectory, he is like an unweaned baby all day long looking for me to ask for milk, but I'm not ready to write him into my future, so I can't keep sticking with him so much. I walked to the subway and got off, just as I got out of the subway onto the pavement I saw him, with headphones and a hat, and as soon as he lifted his eyes to see me I was a little surprised, it was already nine at night and he was waiting here? I was a little surprised that he was waiting here at 9pm. But another warm feeling came over me, it's been a long time since someone like that showed up, maybe I should just go with the flow, and then I took a big step up and hugged him and asked him if he was cold, and he kissed me right away and said not at all. We went back to the neighborhood park in the middle of the fight, we sat on chairs but he insisted I sit on his lap, I swooned, that's what little girls do right, I sweated but finally complied, sometimes I feel pretty soft. His hands got restless when he was under one of my legs, and I thought he was starting to be bad, so he talked back and said I made him bad, and after that he buried his head in my neck, he said it was warm, and then I ruffled his hair and asked him words: "Why are you waiting for me at the subway entrance"? "I'll give it a try. I didn't think I'd actually wait for you." "What time did you get here"? "I came right after class in case I missed you." "Why didn't you ask me?" "I'm afraid you can't hear me at the potluck. I'm fine anyway." "It's cold." "But I missed you. I wanted to come to you as soon as I got out of class." As he said this his hand started to get restless, after which I grabbed it and then I stood up It's too late, I have to go back "You're angry. I won't do it next time, okay?" I don't look back and walk fast, I think he and I thought at first is not the same, I should not have expected anything, perhaps the most childish is mine. He hurriedly ran up with his bag and apologized, and I said you don't have to apologize. "Don't be angry. I won't dare again." "I just thought it was a little late." "Then I'll give you a ride." "No, you go home quickly." "Why are you always like this, can't I even walk you downstairs to your house? Why is it okay for everyone else but you always exclude me from your circle, going downstairs to your company too, pretending not to recognize me and then only talking to me when you get into the subway, you never admit that I'm your boyfriend, you always say that I'm childish, and that I have to ask for permission to touch you, what the f**k is this? What the hell am I to you?" I suddenly froze, I was dumbfounded by what he said, perhaps this is the crux of our unthinkable relationship broke out. After this incident I and he seemed to break contact, as if the world has never appeared so a person like, I just started to suddenly feel that the day of the quarrel like a dream - a nightmare.