The Hearts Defiance

Tears For The Greedy

Remi was in the kitchen sitting on a stool eating a bowl of cookie dough ice cream. He mostly just moved the ice cream around wondering why in the world he even got any in the first place. He scooped up another small spoonful and swallowed it. His stomach not agreeing with him entirely. The silver spoon hung from his mouth as he pouted in boredom. 

It was only five at that point, his college tutor had already come and gone and he had nothing left on his "agenda" today. Remi saw out of the kitchen windows the sky outside was ablaze with orange. He sighed dropping the spoon into the bowl and pushing it across the kitchen island.

"Finally done?" Auntie the house one and only staff in the house asked her eyebrow c****d at him practically lying on her clean counter. Charlie had promptly fired the other maid who was working here for giving Remi a piece of chocolate a few months back. Auntie was smarter though and had always waited till charlie left to indulge Remi.  Auntie though older took no guff from him. Wrinkles and rosy cheeks graced her face. Like always she wore a light blue uniform with a white apron tied around her waist. She had tightly wound grey hair in a bun and Remi found her to be adorable when she was angry. Like a steaming teapot. 

Though she had a lot of sass to give Remi loved her. She had been so kind to him since the beginning. She hadn't needed to she could have totally ignored and forgotten him the same way Charlie had. He doubted he would have gotten anywhere with Charlie if it wasn't for her. She was gentle with him even when he refused to speak at first. She had worked with him to trust her. Unlike Charlie who had given up a day or so in. But the old bat was persistent.

"Sorry Auntie." Remi said over the running water.  He felt bad as he looked at her. It was his fourth bowl of ice cream today and instead of just using the same bowl he kept getting a new one. After she washed the bowl and stacked it with the others he had used that day she turned to him.

"I'm more concerned with how you eat when he's not here. You know he wouldn't like it and all that sugar isn't good for you." She chastised him lightly. She was right though Charlie would kill him. He restricted sweets all the time when he was home telling Remi he would get fat if he ate too much. Remi knew if he was here Remi wouldn't even be able to touch the container of ice cream or the sleeve of cookies he also ate earlier. He shivered as the air conditioning started up again. It felt like spiders crawling up his arms.

"You miss him don't you?"

"What makes you say that?"  He asked confused.

"Because you've had this bored dazed look on your face all day." She chuckled wiping down the black granite counter.

"I guess." He blushed slightly. He had started to miss charlie this afternoon. considering the older man was never gone longer than two days at best. And even then he would've called or sent word to Auntie to rely back to Remi. But they hadn't heard anything from Charlie for the last three days and it worried him. And even if the old crone didn't want to admit it worried her as well. He shivered again grabbing his upper arms and rubbing a little

"And why don't you go put some clothes on before you freeze to death." 

"Why can't we just turn on the heat. Or just turn off the a/c? Just for a little bit?" She looked at him feeling sorry for him. Knowing full well she couldn't touch it he still asked.

"We don't know when Mr.Anderson will be home and you know he likes the house....a certain temperature." Her words fell apologetically. Remi was still annoyed though he didn't even have an idea where the temperature control was in the mansion. Charlie always kept the house at sixty-five degrees year-round it was torture. even still though he never once complained to Charlie. He was grateful to have a roof over his head.

"Mr.Anderson got you that new sweater a few weeks ago and you haven't even worn it yet. That'll warm you right up. And put some pants on while you at it" Auntie turned back to cleaning the kitchen all but dismissing him. Remi annoyed had huffed and started to hop out of the stool. He felt the goosebumps rise even more under the thin dress shirt and work out shorts he took from Charlie's room earlier today. He wanted to do something to feel closer to Charlie. not that it did much it just smelled like lines and not even lie the cologne Charlie normally wore.

Shuffling out of the very white kitchen he made his way to the foyer. Just like the majority of the house it to was stark white. It was gorgeous no doubt but looking at white walls every day had Remi a little stir crazy sometimes. Before ascending the staircase he turned towards the front door. Window panels of clear stained glass on each side looked out on the sidewalk. He saw figures pass by and a tree in the distance. Before he got excited though he turned back heading up the stairs in a huff.

Sometimes he wished he could just leave as Charlie did. He wondered what it was like outside these days. Leave and not come back for days but he knew it wasn't possible. He wouldn't be able to come back if he did that. When he had met Charlie he felt like he had seen the worst of it though and didn't wish to see it again.   Charlie made it very clear if he ever left that it was over between them. He told Remi he kept him inside for his own safety for his protection. Remi being not yet twenty one had trusted his judgment. He was too scared to lose Charlie to even risk it.

Stealing one last glance at the front door he went to his room. Just about the only place here that had a little color. Charlie had once told him he felt green looked best on him so he had the walls painted a dark evergreen and floorboards put in instead of the white marble flooring that the rest of the house had. His bed sat at the end f the room against the wall it was huge and honestly felt lonely to sleep it. No matter which way he turned it was nothing but him and the empty space. Besides the bed, there wasn't much else just a dresser full of clothes Charlie had gotten for him and a small bookcase near his nightstand. 

Remi walked over to the nightstand his body partially freezing at that point and looked around for the sweater. After digging through three draws he finally found it. It was a cream color and was very soft. He also grabbed some brown sweat pants with a draw string. Not entirely his style but it did the job. He quickly dawned and it and already began to feel better.

Figuring what he would do for the rest of the day he had an idea. He hopped over to the bed and moved aside the mass amounts of pillows until his eyes laid upon a small book. Remi had originally found it in the downstairs library. It was a romance novel its cover was worn and creased showing evidence of being well-read. He had started to read it months ago but Charlie found it and there it away He told Remi he shouldn't read things that would rot his brain. But that had Remi wondering how it got in the house in the first place. But Auntie had fished it out of the trash and cleaned it as best she could. Since she was the only one who cleaned the house she hid it for him and made sure Charlie never found it again.

Knowing Chalie wasn't home it was the best opportunity to read it without getting caught. He pushed the rest of the pillows together propping him up and sat back and enjoyed the small novel. It was a beautiful tale of rich man who fell in love with his body guard but the bodyguard was terminally ill and only worked for the man to pay for his treatments. 

He sat there scanning page after exciting page. Emotions were running high in the pages and he stopped as he scanned the chapter where the two protagonist have s*x. They embraced and loved and each other. They were gentle with each other....patient. Remi thought as he remembered the times he had s*x with charlie and how it had been nothing like this. One could barely call what they did s*x. Remi never said anything though as long as what thy did made Chalie happy he was happy.

As he read on he noticed the happy couple seemed to know everything about each other like they had known each other in another lifetime. Remi once again comparing the books relationship to his own realized he didn't know much about Charlie. Except for the fact he was rich and handsome and spoke more than one language. Also, his best friend's name was Benjamin. Whenever Remi asked him things like if he had siblings or where he grew up Charlie would act as if he hadn't heard him. If Remi persisted..........well let us just say it wasn't worth it. He kept his office locked so he couldn't even rummage around. Remi felt so in the dark. He loved Charlie so he didn't understand why he didn't share more with him.

Remi became too distracted to think about the book anymore. His mind kept wandering back to Charlie wondering if they were really on the same page. If Charlie felt the same way Remi had. He just kept reading the same paragraph over and over again until his eyelids felt heavy and he slipped into a deep sleep.

An empty dream surfaced. Nothing....nothing.....nothing, no one just a black abyss. He just kept running and running and ending up nowhere. He never found nan exit and had this foreboding feeling like he was sinking deeper and deeper. Remi who had been fearful of the dark from a young age. Struggled to wake He was in a state of panic willing his body to pull itself from the relentless nightmare. Oh god, he wished Charlie were here.

"Remi...Baby...Remi wake up!" As if he heard his internal cries Charlie appeared shaking him from his black, endless terror. In the dark of the room, Remi saw the outline of his face. Strong and handsome features any man was lucky to have. Remis half-lidded eyes tearing up at the sight of him.

Charlie turned on the nightstand lamp lighting the room enough for a warm yellow glow. His worried eyes now softening with relief seeing Remi was okay.  Remi saw he was still in his black business attire kneeling next to the bed. Without a word, he wrapped his thin arms around Charlie's neck pulling the older man into him and onto the large bed. He moved a bit to get comfortable next to him.

"Did you miss me that much?" He chuckled rubbing Remis back. Tears soaked his expensive suit jacket but Remi hadn't cared he needed to be hed he needed Charlie to be there for him right now. He furrowed his brow and seemed confused at what to do next. Remi nodded silently trying to stop the tears but failing miserably. He shifted again this time to get out of his grasp.

"Remi baby I still have work to do." And here Remi thought this one time Charlie would get it. This was a struggle between the two. Remi would get upset or cry and Charlie would just make excuses for why he couldn't stay. He got confused as to how Remi could require more than a few moments of a backrub to comfort him.

Remi scowled at him tears staining his pale cheeks. He just wanted to be held was it too much to ask? Charlie attempted to remove himself from the bed but Remi reached back up to grab him again. Charlie though swatted his hands away and backing up quickly. He straightened his tie and neared the bed once again.

"I'll be in my room once I'm done if you want to sleep together." He sounded cold and distant. as he was beginning to walk away again Remi stopped him.

"Can I get a welcome home kiss?"

"Sure." He moved to him promptly and grabbed  Remi by the nape of the neck kissing him. They may not have gotten along but the s****l attraction between the two of them was at least there. They kissed passionately their lips and tongues wrestling for dominance and Remis failing mersiably. Though he knew he could be more dominant he knew Charlie hated it. Charlie liked to be in control at all times.

They rated Remis lips swollen and puffy. Remis hands rested on Charlie's chest. He loved to feel the muscles ripple under his dress shirt and home strong he felt. He felt protected when they were like this like he would be okay. Remi bit his lip questioning his next words.

"Did you call on your way home? I was worried I hadn't heard from you." He said shyly a blush on his cheeks. He had a habit of wandering around the house phone whenever he left. Charlie gave him a disgusted look and scoffed.

"I didn't realize I had to report to you every time I left the house." Remi instantly regretted hoping his mouth. 

"No Charlie that s not what I meant.." But it was too late he stood from the bed his handsome features skewed in anger. It was times like this Remi felt like more of Charlie's plaything than his lover or boyfriend.

"You don't tell me what to do." He seethed through his teeth Remi pushed himself back making distance between them. Suddenly feeling the little book he was reading earlier he sat on it carefully not to let Chalie see it. The man was already pissed and didn't wanna anger him more.

"I'm sorry." tears welling up again.

"You're sorry? That all you have to say Remi." His fist balled by his sides he wanted more.

“I’m sorry for questioning you. I love you.” He un balled his hand stretching his fingers and leaned down closing the distance between them. He kissed Remi again, he tasted of americano and cigarettes. when he pulled apart Remi knew not to reach for him.

"It's okay I forgive you. I have to go get some work done I love you to."  He left promptly not give Remi another look back. Remi turned to look at the illuminated red light of the alarm clock. It was two in the morning. He left through the rest of the day and all night. He assumed that Ice cream put him in a bit of a coma. He didn't care though it's not like he had things to do all day. So he pulled the book from under his but and placed it back securely under the pile of pillows. He climbed back under the covers wiping away the remnants of his tears. He couldn't cry like this but he couldn't stop it either between nightmares and Charlie he was a mental mess. 

What other choice did Remi have though it was be in here or be out there. At least in here, he knew Charlie loved him. Out there no one cared about him.