As life goes on.. it gets bitter or was it always bitter?

The sun's rays cut through the gap in your curtains, and a soft vibration from your phone jolts you awake. The friction of the bedsheets against your skin reminds you that it's 7 a.m., and you groan, already despising the day ahead. ​You reach for your phone, silencing the alarm before staring blankly at the ceiling. You know you have no other choice but to wake up and get ready. After another five minutes of lying there, you finally decide it's time to start the day. ​You go to the bathroom, change your clothes, and brush your hair. You give your rented room one last look, just in case you've forgotten something. Satisfied that you have everything, you leave and lock the door behind you. You walk out of the building, and the sun warms your face as the buzz of people around you becomes a familiar white noise. The walk to the office feels too short. Without even realizing it, you're already there. You sigh and enter the building. ​"Good morning!" you greet everyone, sit down in your chair, and start to prepare your desk. It's the same work, the same routine. You go through the motions of the day, feeling numb. You want to quit, but you need the job—the money. ​"Hey, do you want to go grab lunch?" ​You look up from your laptop to see your colleagues standing there. You're thinking of skipping lunch since you don't have an appetite, but they must have guessed because they close your laptop directly. You glare at them, trying to open the laptop again, but they're too fast. ​"Come on! Work already sucks; at least good food will help us get through this." ​"Fine," you say, giving up. ​They smile, knowing they've won. They're the only reason work is bearable. Sunny, true to her name, has a cheerful personality—unless you trigger her bad side. Sally is quiet and straightforward, with a love for dark, sarcastic jokes. You smile in defeat and leave the office with the other two. ​You go to a nearby mall for lunch. Sunny says it's for a change of scenery, but you know she just wants to do some shopping afterward. You decide on Japanese food, which isn't a bad choice. ​"Oh, my brother called!" Sunny says, looking at her phone. ​"Just order your food first, then take the call," Sally says. "I'm so hungry I could eat a person." ​You laugh at Sally's remark. Sunny glares at you both. She's actually rich, and sometimes you wonder why she even needs to work. Her shopping sprees cost more than your monthly salary. After exchanging few snarky remarks at each other, Sunny continue her call with her brother back. You felt content and entertained by their presence but sometimes you are wondering whether you are really there with them or not. There will be a time where you felt like you are not fitting in. It's hard to describe. At least you can't even described it. ​In the end, Sunny takes her time talking with her brother while Sally and you decide to order first. Things go by as usual. Once Sunny finishes, she rejoins you both. There is bickering, laughing, and easy conversation. Sometimes you feel as if time has stopped. Resting your chin on your hands, you look at them—at how they laugh so freely, with no trace of a forced smile or darkness behind their clear eyes. ​ It would be a lie to say you don't feel jealous. Life for you feels bleak and bland. You smile when they speak to you, but it’s a bittersweet feeling. You sip your black coffee; somehow, the bitterness calms you. Food arrives, and time passes. ​"Finally! Work is over." "Ugh, my back is dying." "Stop being such a crybaby." ​They glare at you playfully, but you just smile without looking up. You tell them to go home first because you want to work a little longer. Honestly, when no one is around, you find a strange sense of peace. It’s not that you’re a workaholic; you simply feel more comfortable in the silence. You don't hate them. In fact, you’re thankful for them. They provide a drop of sweetness in your otherwise bitter life. ​You know the look on their faces the moment you tell them to go on without you. You look up and smile, reassuring them that you’re completely fine and just have a few things to finish before the day ends. ​Sunny pauses, her hand hovering over her bag, while Sally’s smile falters just slightly. They exchange a lingering, knowing glance—the kind of look shared only by people who have memorized the cracks in your armor. They don't push you, but the silence says they know you're retreating again.