Lost and Broken

This is my first book ever so sorry for any miss spelling or anything like that.This story contains triggers of many forms of abuse please know this before you keep reading. Lotus "Lotus where the f**k are you" I hear my father scream as I hide in the closet im scared to make a sound, afraid hell find me and beat me he's drunk again. I hold my breath as I hear him get close smashing everything in his path, I try not to jump or cry to loud as I hear something smash into the closet I'm hiding in. I let out I breath as I hear his footsteps fade away, I wait a couple of minutes until I peak out to see if its safe to come out I scream as I feel my hair being pulled, as he throws me across the room, my back hits the wall and nocks the wind out of me. he walks up to me and I know whats going to happen I curl in to a ball to protect my self as he kicks me over and over again. "what" kick "did" kick *I* kick kick "say about screaming* he says as he kicks me hard, I try not to cry out because I know he hates to hear me cry. *I..I..I'm s..sorry please stop" he bends down and grabs my throat and forces me to look at him. "You are nothing, who would ever want a broken thing like you." He spits at me as he squeezes his hand around my throat, It gets harder for me to breath but I try not to make a noise so he doesn't beat me more. "I can't believe I'm stuck with you" he says as he throws me to the ground. I try to breath but I'm on the verge of blacking out he walks away from me and says in a cold heartless voice "Get out of my sight before I change my mind and kill you." I stumble to get up and run to my room as fast as I can while trying not to blackout in the process, my room is located in a small room next to the laundry room as I enter the room I fall on the floor as I slowly slip into the darkness. Nine years later: Lotuse I wake up the next morning still in pain from last night, it's four am and I hope he's not awake yet. I get out of bed and my breath hitches as I walk to the bathroom to take a shower. I walk out and slowly to the living room and see that he's passed out drunk on the couch, I sigh in my head thanking the gods he's asleep as I slowly make my way to the shower, I enter the bathroom and look at the mirror. " well at least he stayed away from my face this time." I slowly take my shirt off and pants as it hurts to move, I look in the mirror at all the bruise on my stomach and sigh and think to myself. " Well this is going to sting." I walk over to the shower and turn it on I only use the cold water in fear that the water heater would make to much noise and wake him up, I slowly step in the shower as the cold water hits me I try not to yelp at how cold it is and how much it hurt when it hits my bruises. I take a quick shower because of how cold the water is and guickly get dressed, in a pair of black matching underwear, blue jeans, my favorite jacket, and a pair of tennis shoes. I open the door to see him still sleeping and walk to the kitchen to make some breakfast before he wakes up but when I get to the kitchen and open the fridge I realize there is nothing to make, I cus under my breath "f**k I have to go to the store" I grab my wallet and mp3 player and some cash and silently open the door to leave, I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I turn the corner and let out a big sigh. I put my head phone in and flipped through my music I couldn't find anything good so I put it on shuffle and laugh when the song dollhouse comes on because on the outside we look like a loving family but on the inside is nothing but a nightmare I continue the 2 mile walk to the store. when I get to the store I felt like something was off but I shrugged it off and got a cart and walked around zoning out to my music that I didn't know someone was following me until they grabbed my arm, I jump and turned around afraid it was him but it wasn't it was a strange man I didn't know I looked down at his had and back at him I took out my head phone. " Can I help yo..." before I could even respond his asked me in an angry voice. "Who are you and where do you come from." I looked at him shocked what gave him the right to ask me that as far as I knew the store was a public place, I looked at him feeling angry for some reason. " Excuses me?" I ask he looked at me annoyed "Don't make me repeat myself." he spat at me I looked at him with with anger "First what gives you the right to ask me that as far as I knew going to the store was not a crime, and second let go of my arm I don't know you." I say as I try to get my arm free from his grip but it wouldn't budge, I looked at him and he smiled at me in a evil smile and the only way way I knew I could get him away from me was to make a scene and that something I didn't want to do just incase my fathers work buddies happen to be there and tell my father what the saw I would most likely be dead but he left me no choice, I looked at him and screamed. " SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!!" he looked startled and looked around as people started staring at us, he loosened his grip a little from being distracted by the people around us that I managed to get away from him and ran like my life depended on it and behind a crowd of people, I saw he was looking around for me and put his noise into the air like he was trying to smell me out but then walked away, I thought to myself. "What the f**k was that all about" Once I felt ike it was safe enough I walked out of the crowd and walked fast to get the eggs, bacon, and cheese, I practically run to the cash register and ran out the store as far as I could till my lungs were burning. When I stopped I looked back to make sure I wasn't being followed, I let out a sigh of relief and continued the walk home. it was now seven am when I slightly made my was in the house I looked in the living and saw he was still asleep, I sighed with relief and started making his breakfast since it was past five am I couldn't eat thats when my schedule was I was only allowed one meal a day and 3 cups of water so looks like I'll have to wait for dinner, Once I was done I put his omelet with fresh hash browns and a cup of coffee one the table and went to wake him up I hate this part because I never new if he was going to smake me ot not but it had to be done. I taped on his shoulder. "Excuses me sir your breakfast is ready." I call him sir because he told me to never call him father or dad or anything like that or he would lock me in my room for a week without food or water I made that mistake once. He doesn't make a sound or move. "Sir?" "I f*****g heard you." He spits out "Get the f**k out of me face" he looks at me angrily I don't waist no time for him to repeat him self and go back to my room. when I get to my room I sit on my make shift bed which contains of boxes, two blankets, and a torn pillow I sigh and can stop thinking of that man at the store what was his deal, I slowly start to fall back asleep as I think of him. Axel I walk around the garden of the pack house I didn't get much sleep last night because my wolf kept yapping my ear off about going into town today. "I heard that." my wolf beowulf said to me "No s**t" I saw back to him as I roll mentally roll my eyes at him, he let's a low growl in my head. "You need ylto be in town already." he says to me " but why" I asked for the hundredth time today "I don't know its just a feeling I have." he says I scuff at him "Well that sure helps" I say to him " Will you just trust me have I ever been wrong before" he says to me I think about it for a second and he was right he has never lied to me before I sigh out load "all right let me just tell my parents I'm going into town at least" I tell him I fell him jump in excitement and I roll my eyes at him. I walk in to my dads office and see him and my mom laughing and kissing each other and avert my eyes "really you two if your going to start anything at least lock the door" I say my dad laughs at me "well son if your going to keep walking in without knocking then you might see me" my mom blushes and smakes my dads chest " babe do you have to say that to him" she says my dad smile and looks at her "he will know sooner or later when he finds his mate and takes over as alpha" his say to her she smiles and looks at my sad then me " What is it that you need sweetie?" she ask me "My wolf keeps bugging me to go to town but won't tell me why so I'm heading out." I tell he my dad looks at me confused " thats strange I wonder why he's acting that way maybe it has somethingto do with your mate he say" I laugh at him "I don't think so" my mom smiles at me "well you never know but at least take someone with you so I know your safe" she say, I smile at her " I plan on it I was going to asked tucker if he wanted to join me" she smiled at me "ok just be safe" she say "I will" I say goodbye to them and go look for my childhood friend i find him in the gaming room and laugh as he gets mad at the game and throws the controller "hey you break it you buy it" he looks at me and gives me a playful angry look "f**k off d**k" I laugh "shut up you b***h" he looks at me offended and then smiles and laughs "whats up man?" He ask "i was heading to town and was wondering if you wanted to join" With any answer he jumps off the couch and starts walking out the door I laugh as he looks back " well aren't you coming cupcake" he says smiling "f**k off" I sayaughing as I walk past him and him him laughing along with my wolf we get in to the car and make the three and a half hour drive, as we pass by a*****e beowulf almost screams in my head "Stop! pull into that store." I rub my head "really man come one you don't need to yell" I say as I pull into a parking spot and get out of the car with Tucker right behind me "sorry not sorry" he says to me I roll my eyes at him "ok so why did you want to come here so badly" I ask him " I don't know i just had a feeling now shut up" I start to get angry at him "you know what..." I was about to say be for that most delicious smell hit my nose, he starts jumping around in my head like a happy puppy saying "mate, mate ,mate go find mate" I don't even argue as I follow the smell the find a woman with dark brown hair, blue jeans and a baggie jacket on I had to get a better look at her and so did beowulf so without think I grabbed her arm, she was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen she looked like she hadn't eaten in months but she was beautiful but something was off she smelled like a wolf but also had a human sent to he I was so lost in thought I didn't hear he speak " Can I help yo..." her voice was like music to my ear "Who are you and where do you come from." " Excuses me?" "Who are you and where do you come from." " Excuses me?" she asked and for some reason it she was irritating me by not answering my questions "Don't make me repeat myself." she looked at me with anger and it shocked me a little but I didn't dare to let it show "First what gives you the right to ask me that as far as I knew going to the store was not a crime, and second let go of my arm I don't know you." I was so shocked all o could do was stare at he does she not know who I am, then out of no where she starts to scream to let go of her arm I didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea and I looked around to see so many people look at me with shock and disgust that I didn't realize the she managed to get free and when I looked back she was gone "f**k where did she go" I asked to myself "how the f**k am I supposed to know" beowulf says "I wasn't asking you i***t" I yell at him in my head "wow harsh" he says "sorry let's just try to see if we can find her" he agrees and we walk down the isle but don't see her i try to get her smell but the smell of raw meat was all I could smell it got me mad that I couldn't find her then I hear my friend in my mindlink "dude where did you go we need to head back the alpha and luna need us apparently something had happened" I stopped looking for her and started to walk to the car and responded back "sorry got distracted meet at the car" "all ready there" he says we get back the the car and jum in and speed off but for some reason i can't get her off my mind who was she what what was going on with her sent, and what was wrong with the pack for Tucker to call my parents Alpha and Luna it must be bad since he always call them mom or dad since we are basically like brothers since we grew up together I was really confused. We get back to the pack house and go straight to my dads office "whats wrong dad?" I've never seen this look on my dads face before it was a mix of anger, sadness, and something else I can't place, my dad looks at Tucker then back at me "I brought you in here to make sure that he will be calm hes going to need you right now and Tucker you going to want to sit down for this" we looked at him confused but he listened to my dad and I stood next to him as we watched my dad sigh and run his has over his face and slump in his chair "there is no easy way to say this but I'm sorry Tucker your parents were on patrol and were attacked but hunters we couldn't get to them in time I'm sorry but your parents are dead" I was so shocked I didn't know what to say all I could do was open and close my mouth like a fish out of water hunters so close to are borders how what got me out of my inner babble was hearing my friend yell "NO YOUR Lying" Tucker jumps up out of his chair and fast walks to my dad i grab him just in time before getting to my dad as he falls to his knees and starts bawling "no it can't be, they can't be gone" I hold my friend as he Crys over the death of his parents and look at my dad and mind link him "was it really hunters or was that just something you made up" my dad looks at me and was quite "dad" "it was a lie I think they were at the wrong place at the wrong time and heard something they weren't supposed to hear" he say and I can see the pain in his eyes as he starts to walk out the last thing he says makes my blood boil "I think it was another pack alpha that killed them but I don't need Tucker going on a killing spree so keep this a secret for now" as he's at the door he looks at Tucker and days "we already killed the mean that killed your parents im sorry for you loss son" and walks out of the office Tucker has stopped crying and is now just sitting there saying nothing which is scaring the s**t out of me "Tucker talk to me" nothing "Tucker?!" he looks at me and its like all the light and life in his eyes left him "I don't understand" he finally says, I looked at him confused "what doesn't make sense" I asked "they had patrol off today because it was their anniversary so why were they on patrol" this time it was my turn to be extremely confused, it was quite between us for a couple of me when I finally said " I don't know there had to be a reason" he starts to get up "I have to ask the alpha maybe he will know" u stop before he walks out the door and he looks at me with anger "get out if my way" but it wasn't him talk it was his wolf fenris Tucker was so lost in grief his wolf took over, I look him in the eyes "no you will not do anything but go to your room and get your anger in check" he tries to push me out off the way but being the son of an alpha has its perks I was stronger then him so I wasn't moving he was getting anger that his fangs started to come out which my my wolf mad at the disrespect " that is enough I was telling you as a friend now I'm telling you as your future alpha go to your room now and get your anger in check or ill make you submit to me!" I yell at him which he backs up and lowers his head, I step aside and walk him to his room as I'm doing that I mindlink one of the warriors to have a least two of are best warriors in front of his door until he calms down and all I hear is "yes alpha" we reach his room and I can still feel his and and grief as he walks in and slams his door shut I sigh and watch two warriors walk up and bow " make sure he doesn't leave this room until he calms down and if he trys mind link me and tell me don't try and stop him his wolf will hurt you" "yes alpha they say together" I needed answers so I needed to find my father and figure out what he knew, I decided to check his office to see if he went back but he wasn't there so I mindlinked him "dad where are you?" "In the library" I walk to the library and see him sitting on the couch he looks up qt me "where's mom" I ask looking around the library for he "At the hospital helping them heal some of the wounded" he says while rubbing his temples he then looks at me and asks "so did you find what you were looking for in town he ask" "this is not the time for that dad and don't change the subject you know why I'm here how do you know it was another alpha who killed Truckers parents" I looked at him with so much anger "dont you dare give me that look" my father say in his alpha voice which made me irritated but I stopped "now to answer you question when Mike mindlinked me he said that him and Rose were going for a run and that they found some other pack that they didn't know next to our borders talking and fight but then the link was cut so I ran with a bunch of warriors to where he told me and I found there dead bodies with a note saying" "Its not nice to listen in on others conversations this is what happens when you do" he says sigh "well how do you know it was from an alpha" I ask "at the bottom of the not it saix" "P.S from an alpha to an alpha you know I could how done way worse" I looked at him shocked Mike was a very good friend of my dads and I can see the way it was taking a toll on him "hey dad I'm sorry for the loss of you friend he was like an uncle to me" dad half smiled at me "he was a great friend and beta he will be hard to replace" he looks away and clears his throat "so about your visit to town" he say i was about to say not right now but my mom walked in at that exact moment "oh yea sweetheart what happened in town" I looked qt my father and he smiled at me he knew she was walking in at that moment so he knew I had to answer her I gave him a dirty look and mindlinked him "nice move old man" and all he did was laugh as my mom looked at both of us confused "well?" she asked again sitting next to my dad I sigh "When I got into town beowuld told me to pull into a*****e and go inside and I think I found my mate" I say my mom smiled "oh thats great sweetie when will we be able to met her you not keeping her from us are you" my dad cuts her off and she gives him a dirty look "what do you mean might" my mom looks qt him confused then release what I said and looks at me " Her sent was off it was mixed with a human but I could smell her wolf and she looked scared when I approached her" I left the part of me grabbing her arm bed i would have gotten an earful from my mom, they looked as confused as I was and my dad asked "Did you get her name?" "No she ran away from me" he looked like he was thinking for a second then says "what store did you go to maybe we can see if we can see her face on the cameras and see if we can find her that way" I mentally face slap why didn't I think of that and beowulf say "maybe because your and i***t" "shut up you didn't think that either dumbass" I laughed as he went silent and my my went full happy mode "thats a great idea let's do that tomorrow morning then but first let's go get lunch and take some food to Tucker will you" I nod as we walk to the dinner hall but I wasn't in the mode to eat I just sat there picking at my food so I Excusesed myself and grabbed a plate for Tucker and walked to his room the guards were still there "hows he doing" I asked they looked qt me and bowed" ges been silent sir" one says I sigh "ok you guys go eat i got it from here I saw they thank me and walk to the dining hall I know on the door and head in to see him sitting on the couch with his face in his hands "hey taker I brought you food" "I'm not hungry" he says in his normal vice im glad he has calmed down, I walk to him and put the plate on the table in front of him he looked at me confused " well mo. sent me up to give you the food and make sure you eat unless you want me to call for her " I lie about the last part but I knew he would eat if I told him she said so he looked at me confused then he sighed and starting eating i laughed mentally, I sat down next to him as we sat there in silence as he ate when he was done is when I decided to talk "I'm sorry for your loss your parents were family and they will be greatly missed" all he did was nod and it was silent again o didn't know what to say then he looks at me "I'm glad to have you as a friend but right now I just want to be alone if you don't mind" the look on his face broke my heart I nodded and walk to the door before I left I looked at my broken friend "if you ever need to talk you know where I am " he nods " thanks man" I walk out and close the door and slowly start to make it to my room hoping he will be ok I make it back to my room. fell numb so I decide to take a long hot shower to relax my nerves why was there another alpha at our border ehat did they want? what did Tucker parents hear that got them killed? it was all so confusing. I get put of the shower and put on a pair of baggy sweats and flop on my bed then my mind started thinking of that woman at the store who was she? why was she so afraid of me? I have so many questions that need to be answered so I messaged the pack detective it was only two pm but I was exhausted for some reason. I reached for my phone and called Daniel it took two rings when he finally picked up "hello?" "hey its Axel" "oh hey Axel what can I do for you" "I need you to find someone but I don't know here name age or where she is or came from" I chewed on the in side of my lip, he laughs " had to make it easy me me didn't you" he say sarcastically I laugh a little kn the inside "sorry for the little information" "its ok where did you meet her maybe I can pull up a picture and find her that way" I sigh out the breath I was holding but I didn't realize I was holding my breath "I met her at the quick and grab store off of whole street" I hear him type on his laptop "ok well its going to take me a while to find he so how about I contact you tomorrow when I have all the information about her and her whereabouts" I smile " that sounds great contact me as soon as you have any leads on were she might be" "will do man" I hang up the phone and this about what I'm going to say when I see her again " I don't know maybe apologize for man handling her" beowulf say in my head with a huff I roll my eyes at him which I seem to be doing a lot "not like you said anything to stop me" he acts like he's going to say some thing but doesn't I laugh on the inside knowing I won that argument but I my mind goes back to her with the bluest eyes I have ever seen, her lips were so plump that I just want to kiss and bite on all day and night she had such a nice body as well not to skinny, but not to fat either curve in all the right places I was only wondering what she would look like with no cloths on then i started to get hard I sigh irritated damn well now I have to take a cold shower.