The Protector 2

(Névtelen)-5

My plan to leave the house at night fails miserably. I only wanted to stay until she was asleep, to make sure she wasn’t bothered by nightmares, but I enjoyed her need for me too much. The last piece of fantasy before I dozed off was smashing that Johnny kid’s face in. And now I wake up to Raven’s hair tickling my face. I dreamily blink out of the window, it’s dawning. Damn. I was asleep for hours. I curse my weakness for a while, but deep inside I’m glad things turned out like this. I look at Raven’s flushed face, lush lips, and our joined hands. And to hell with it, I need all my strength to be able to pull myself away from her.

Raven

I wake up refreshed at about ten in the morning. Rafe is not beside me, but I’m not surprised. Even though I was absolutely shattered last night, I could feel that he stayed with me in the bed until dawn. It would have been hard to ignore his hardness against my butt, but last night was about something different, and we both knew that. I was bothered by nightmares, so I didn’t want to be left alone, I simply required his presence, and he gave me everything I needed. I know I was a little whiny, but the thought of Rafe leaving on his own and possibly getting hurt, honestly terrified me. I’m aware of the fact that the fake papers are necessary, so that we won’t leave any traces behind, but I hate to think what kind of sinister people he trades with in the process. If he got harmed… I don’t know what I would do. I don’t even dare think about it. I just choose to get out of bed, to distract myself. I would get dressed as well, but soon realize I have nothing to wear. All my stuff is in the washing, and it wouldn’t be appropriate to show up in the men’s shirt I’ve got on. Not that I don’t love wearing Rafe’s shirt, but it might not look too good in front of his mother. I’m brooding over what to do, but since I can’t stay in the room all day, I carefully open the door, and stick my head out, into the hall. I’m filled with relief and gratitude as I see my own washed clothes arranged in a pile right in front of the door. This Mrs Harlan is an angel, I think to myself while getting dressed. I’m thankful to her for being kind enough to take me in, but I still feel awkward about coming here as an uninvited guest. I decide to be as little trouble to her as possible, and stay out of her way, so as not to disturb her. It’s half ten by the time I finally convince myself to leave the room. My stomach makes loud noises as I progress down the stairs. I urgently need a big coffee.

I hear some clattering from the kitchen’s direction, but slow down my steps to take a better look at the pictures on the wall. There are a lot of them, and I wonder how they didn’t get my attention yesterday. As I definitely recognize a twenty-year-old Rafe in a photo, I get excited. In the picture, he is posing in the St Thomas University rugby team’s jersey, exactly as sexy as I remembered him from those days. Ruffled hair, blue eyes, a cheeky semi-smile, as he clutches the ball under his arm. Whoah! What a heart-throb. No wonder the girls were crazy about him. And it’s also not surprising that I also surrendered to his charms when he began to court me. I should have been made of stone to resist such a great-caliber charmer as Rafe back at university. Of course, he’s quite a sight even now. Those few little crow’s feet around his eyes and the stubble on his cheeks only make him more attractive – I ponder, while my eyes wonder over to the next photo. I see two little boys in it, one is a few years older than the other. Curious, I lean a bit closer, and note that it must be Rafe’s little brother, Will. From the time before the accident. It’s a happy fishing scene where the two boys are holding a gigantic bream in their hands, wearing a big grin on their faces. I don’t detect a lot of similarities between them, maybe their hair colour is the same. It comes to my mind how Rafe was struggling to tell me about Will’s water accident. I can still picture the pain displayed on his face when he talked about his brother. How old could Will be now? If I remember correctly, Rafe was saying that his brother is three years younger than him, so he must be about twenty-seven. I continue studying the pictures on the wall, now consciously looking for a grown man who is metally on the level of a child. Soon I find it. Rafe and Will are holding one another’s shoulders. Rafe is wearing a leather jacket, and is in his mid-twenties; Will is holding a camera in his hand, and gives a full smile. Rafe’s face, on the other hand, is severe, almost sad. There are a few more pics of older people whom I guess to be their grandparents, and a man holding an infant in his hands. Beside him stands a three-year-old child, which makes me think the photo depicts the two boys with their father. The most recent one seems to be the one of Anne, with her two sons on both of her sides.

I arrive at the ground floor deep in thought, and almost collide into Anne, who’s carrying a big box in her hands.

“Good morning. I hope you slept well,” she greets me cheerfully.

“Good morning. Yes, I did. Thank you,” I answer, a little taken aback. “Oh, and thank you for the clothes. I thought I was going to have to spend the day in Rafe’s shirt,” I say, running my hand down my side, and suddenly blushing. Good Lord! Did I forget I’m talking to the shirt owner’s mum? Who knows what kind of a jealous mother tigress is hiding inside Anne Harlan?

“Not at all, really. I didn’t have too much laundry,” she tilts her head, trying to close the cellar door behind her with her heel.

I quickly jump there, and while asking if I could help, I take the box from her hands. Anne doesn’t protest, but starts walking towards the kitchen.

“The thing is, I’ve hardly brought anything with me from home. Rafe ordered that I could only pack the absolute necessities, because in the case of an emergency, I wouldn’t have much time to pack my things,” I remark with a bitter smile.

“Well, that’s Rafe for you. He does love to give orders,” Anne winks at me with laughter, and makes room for the box on the counter. I’m smiling under my nose, because her words are also reflecting Rafe’s character. “I hope that bad boy hasn’t been treating you too hard. He’s got a heart of gold, but doesn’t like to show it off.”

“Oh, no. I mustn’t complain,” I shrug my shoulders. After all, regardless of the incident when he carried me into the house on his shoulder like some caveman, and simply threw me onto the bed to kiss me to bits, he really has been nice. And even then, I was provoking him on purpose, so I can’t be surprised that it had brought the beast out of him.

In the meantime, Anne casually tells me that there’s a set of glasses in the box which she wants to unwrap and put onto the shelf. Apparently, she has managed to smash the pieces of the old set, so eventually it was necessary to buy new ones. Then she suddenly slaps her forehead.

“Oh God. I haven’t even asked if you are hungry. You must be, though. Can I give you some coffee?”

“Yes, please,” I answer quickly, and we both laugh. “I don’t make a big deal of breakfast, actually. I just have coffee, and maybe a bite of cereal,” I shrug my shoulders, and take the plates out of Anne’s hands.

“Cereal?” she looks at me resentfully. “That’s out of the question, girl.” A strange shiver runs down my spine as she calls me girl. It doesn’t even sound too strange from her mouth. “After all you’ve been through, the least you deserve is a decent breakfast,” she says, and this makes me think Rafe must have shared with her the details of our escape. “Pancakes, eggs and bacon. At least,” she lift a finger high into the air, and begins to make preparations.

It’s with satisfaction that I accept, Anne wasn’t joking when she was talking about a decent breakfast. I eat the homemade bites with pleasure, and smile thankfully at her sitting next to me the whole time, making sure I don’t lack anything. My emotional state is proportionate with Anne’s open friendliness. Although life has dealt her a tough card with a disabled kid and a broken marriage, she doesn’t seem broken or embittered at all. The circles under her eyes and the wrinkles on her forehead signify that the passing years have left a mark on her, but her eyes are glittering and her laughter is genuine. She is radiating warmth and care, and I feel instinctively at home with her. In my own life, there are some great, strong women too, like Claire and Nola, but I did lose my mother much too early. Exactly at an age I began to leave childhood behind, and I would have most needed motherly guidance about becoming a woman. It might be due to Anne’s straight-forwardness that slowly my inhibitions are disappearing. I want her to know what an amazing man she has raised her son to be, so the words come out of me almost by themselves.

“Rafe saved my life yesterday. If not for him, I’d probably be dead by now.” Anne gives me a pervasive look, and she even puts the cup down from her hand. “Those guys weren’t kidding. They wanted to kill me, but he didn’t lose his head. He acted like a real pro. You can be proud of him.”

“I am,” she nods with a tiny smile.

“I know this is just a job for him, and that my uncle has paid him to protect me, but” I run my tongue along my mouth, “he gave me much more. He acted like a friend, comforted me and kept my spirits high. I feel safe when we are together.”

I say the last sentence dreamily, staring out of the window. My thoughts are drifting towards him, and I wonder what he’s doing, whom he is meeting. Maybe he wanted to say goodbye to someone significant to him, before we leave the States? Does he think of me the way I think of him? And, most of all, I’m worried in case he’s in danger.

For a while we’re both quiet, and only the ticking of the clock breaks the silence in the kitchen. As my dreamy eyes wander back to Anne’s curiously observant face, I get embarrassed. I’m not sure how much she knows about our history, so I start very carefully.

“I’m not sure you know that Rafe and I, I mean, we used to…” I explain in agony, but Anne places a soothing hand on mine.

“You’re Raven. That certain Raven,” she leans close, raising her eyebrows significantly. The adjective makes me laugh out loud. So I’m that certain Raven. Not bad. “Rafe used to tell me about a girl back then, someone he met at university and fell in love with.

“Is that what he said?” I ask excitedly.

“Not with these exact words, but this was the point. Anyway, there was no need for him to say it. It was written all over him that he was in love. I had never seen him like that before. And not even since,” she adds with a deep sigh. “After you broke up, he wasn’t willing to discuss the issue. He became stubborn about it, and turned inward.”