Her Second Chance At Love complete

(18) A Frustrating But Hopeful Week

Lisa’s POV

I hated to admit he was right.  God, how I wanted this man in the worse way.  I was certain he wanted me as well and since he is a guy, I figured I would have no problem convincing him that we should get it on.  I had to admire his restraint and the fact that he respected me that much.  Most guys I knew would have jumped at the chance to f**k me.  Hell, what guy would stop a woman regardless of what was going on with her physically when she was making those kinds of moves.  At first when he grabbed my hand my heart had dropped, I was certain that although I could feel his excitement, he was rejecting me.  That he didn't feel the same physical attraction as I did.  I was ready to get out of bed, put my clothes on and go sleep in one or the girls’ rooms.   But then when he started to talk, I was in awe of him.  Hell, I was supposed to not have s****l relations for six weeks after the hysterectomy and Ray only waited a week.  He hadn't cared what the doctor said and told me that I seemed to be feeling just fine and would know if something was wrong.  Aside from that I was his wife and it was my duty to make him happy and by not giving him some sort of release he wasn’t happy at home.  Of course, going on what I had been told about having relations with my husband I had given in to him.  I was afraid that if I didn't give him what he wanted he would go somewhere else.  That's what my mother had told me.  Little did I know that he had already been going somewhere else for his s****l needs.  For the first few weeks after the hysterectomy, he would let me get away with giving him a hand job.  I hated giving blow jobs and he knew that.  After a few weeks he wasn’t satisfied with that and that is when he started forcing me to give him head.  I looked up at Mike with my head on his shoulder and asked him why he was so different.  He smiled at me and said "if you treat your woman well inside and outside the bedroom she is going to reciprocate willingly and happily.  The best kind of feeling is when your woman happily gives herself to you because you have completely satisfied her."  I nodded my head in agreement and could understand what he was saying I knew it was true.  At first, I happily gave Ray everything he wanted hoping that I would get that in return and never did.  Eventually I just stopped trying and went straight to complying.  I had longed for someone that would show me as much love and affection as I could give to him.  I just didn't think that kind of man existed. "That's going to take some getting used to.  I've always been the affectionate one but I've always been the one to do the pleasing and not really getting pleasure myself."  He squeezed me tight to him and said "well get used to it because your standards are about to change.  I'm in for the total experience and not just a f**k buddy.  If I wanted that believe me there are lots of opportunities for that.  Those kinds of women don't interest me I want the total package and I can see that in you."  I looked up at him again and kissed his jaw line.  Then told him that I saw the very same thing in him and couldn't wait to start exploring our life together.  I couldn't wait to feel all the things he described and knowing the affection he would give me.  I wondered how my body and mind would react to that.  Some of the best feelings in the world that I could remember was when Ray would caress and love on me before we got married.  He showed me affection before we even had s*x but once we were married it was all over with. I could only hope that Mike was truly in it for the long haul and wasn’t like Ray in that regard.  I longed for someone to be my equal in and out of the bedroom.  I knew what I had in the past and I knew what I wouldn’t settle for in the future so I just hoped my heart wouldn’t get to broken when it came to Mike.

Mike’s POV

She dozed off in my arms feeling like the safest most loved woman in the world.  A few hours later she had woken up still curled up to my side laying on my shoulder.  When she went to move away from me my arm just tightened around her and mumbled "just where do you think you’re going?"  She was startled that she had woken me up but also that after a few hours she was still laying on me.  She told me that usually if she had fallen asleep on him, Ray would wake her up and make her move or he would somehow remove himself from the situation. Ray would always say that her head was too heavy for him to lay like that to long.  So, with a smile she looked up at me and said "I'm sure my head is making you sore by now.  I was just going to move so I don't bother you."  With that I let out a low growl.  Where in the hell had that come from?  Then pulled her into my side a little closer and said "I love having you curled up to me with your head on my shoulder it feels right and it's not bothering me in the slightest.  I'm not sure what your ex-husbands hang up was but let me get this straight for you, YOU are my woman and I love having you so close to me while we sleep."  She smiled at me and snuggled in a little closer so that she could in her words “just breath in your scent.”  She said that I smelled so damn good and she had wished she wasn't under any kind of restrictions.  She also wished my resolve to care for her and protect her no matter the cost to myself wasn't so strong.  But at the same time, it made her feel wonderful that there was a guy out there in the world that would put the needs of the woman he was with before that of any other.  She just hoped that when the time finally came and we were finally able to be together in that way that I wouldn't find her lacking.  She had explained that was one thing that Ray and Jessica had thrown in her face at the end was that she had no skills in the bedroom.  It wasn’t from lack of trying to learn new ones he didn’t want that from her but he still punished her for not knowing more.  She was insecure about that aspect of her life.  She didn't think she could go through the heartbreak of finding out that she wasn't enough for another man in the bedroom again.  She guessed that she would know the answer to that soon enough as at the end of the week she should be cleared from the doctor so that she could be intimate with me.  Would I be ok with her bedroom skills?  Would I be willing to travel with her as she learned new skills?  Or, would I just look at her and tell her that while I found her attractive there wasn't enough in the bedroom to make the relationship worth exploring.  She knew I had said the relationship was more than just s*x but she also knew that s*x was a big part of.  I held her tightly against me, ran my fingers through her hair and softly told her “Baby I am well aware that you are not confident in the bedroom.  I promise you one thing, when the time comes and there is something you want to try or to learn I will be with you every step of the way.  If yo don’t like it or can’t do it then we move on and take it as a lesson learned.  Satisfaction in the bedroom isn’t only for the man, it’s for the woman as well.”  With that thought she drifted off to sleep  I was looking forward to her getting to know me as a man better in the coming week.

At some point in the night, she had turned over to her side and was facing away from me.  I had turned with her and was spooning with her when she woke up.  It felt nice to wake up with someone wrapped in your arms.  I wondered how she felt having my arms wrapped around her.  I clung to her breast in almost a possessive manner and from the soft moans coming from her I could tell that she really enjoyed that.  My finger lightly brushed her n****e through her nightshirt that she had put back on to make it easier for us to stay apart and it stirred so much arousal from me as it did her.   She started to wiggle to get away from my grip so as not to wake me up when I grasped her tighter.  Well, if you are trying to get away from me that isn't going to work.  She started to move a little more and I said "I would just lay still for a bit or I won't be responsible for what could happen."  She didn't quite understand what I was talking about so again she went to move away from me when I pressed himself against her and said "all your wiggling is creating a problem.  Can't you feel it?"  With that she turned bright red.  I couldn’t believe it I found a woman that still blushes.  It was adorable.  She then started to talk to me about how he had heard about guys waking up with a hard on.  How Ray had told her about how he had woken up with one but usually in the morning they weren't touching and he would slide out of bed and go to the bathroom and shower first thing in the morning.  When he would come out of the shower, he was all relaxed and happy.  She just had always figured that the shower rejuvenated him like it did for her and nothing more.  Then as if to test herself and her limitations I felt her make her move.  She pushed herself back into my chest and arms a little more and started to wiggle and grind her ass on my groin.  She heard me groan and she giggled. Then I snuggled my face into her neck and said "honey if it weren't for those damn doctor's orders, I would take you here and now.  You are playing with fire and you are going to get burned if you're not careful."  She smiled at me and said the first thing that seemed to have popped into her mind at that moment "gasoline and matches baby.  Gasoline and matches."  With that she removed herself from my arms, climbed out of bed and said "for both our sakes I think it's time we vacate this little location in the house.  Because like you I can't trust myself and I wouldn't want you to compromise your dedication on this manner any more than you already have."  She gave me a mischievous smile, removed her clothes and started to walk away.  I raised an eyebrow at her and told her to get back in bed I wanted to hold her a little longer.  She walked away repeating "baby we are gasoline and matches."

Lisa’s POV

Every night and every morning had gone the same way for the next week.  We would snuggle up together and I would feel the evidence of his attraction to me every morning. I got used to it and couldn't imagine ever being without his arms around me.  I was thinking about how funny it was that I never really missed doing those things with Ray but then again how can you miss something that you never really had.  Breaking through my thoughts he asked me what time my doctor’s appointment was today and checking my watch I informed him that it was in an hour.  I also needed to go to the DA's office after my appointment for an interview about the case with Sam.  He looked at me and told me that he would be happy to drive me.  I just smiled at him and told him that I thought that would be nice because while I was certain I would be fine after the doctor’s appointment I wasn't certain how the interview with the DA would go. I hadn't said anything to Mike but during the week I had received a few phone calls from the assistant DA and he seemed to be frustrated with me that I couldn't remember anything.  He was pressing me for answers that I didn't have that day and it sent me into an anxiety attack like I hadn't ever had before.  Luckily at the time I was having the attack Mike had been at one his restaurants taking care of a few things that needed handled. After I had gotten off the phone with the young man, I had taken one of my anxiety pills and fell asleep on the couch.  I was so mixed up and so stressed that I needed to clear my head.   Luckily my brain wasn't bogged down with trying to remember at that time and I drifted peacefully off to sleep.  When I had woken up later that afternoon Mike was back at my place and had tucked a blanket around me to keep me warm.  What had woken me up was the smell of some of the most delicious food coming from my kitchen.  I had padded softly into the kitchen and just stood there watching him.  God but it was such a turn on to watch this man cooking in my kitchen.  Little did he know he was cooking more than food in the kitchen he was heating up my inner core.  My thoughts came back to the present and I told him how much I would appreciate it.  He looked at me and told me that he had, had a conversation with the DA and her assistant the other day and from what he had learned the assistant would no longer be handling the case it would be handled by the DA herself.  I looked up at him and said "that means I have to yet again tell someone new my story and how little I actually remember."  As if sensing my discomfort, he walked over to me pulled me up into his arms, gave me a huge hug and told me it was going to be ok he wouldn't leave my side at all that day if I didn't want him to go.  I knew he meant it as well and felt comforted by the thought that he would be by my side in a difficult time.  I smiled up at him and said "shall we get this show on the road then?"