Her Second Chance At Love complete

(16) A Night With Him

Lisa’s POV

The evening passed by so easily.  The conversation was wonderful and I felt loved and cherished by a man I hardly knew.  I wasn't certain but I believed that he truly wanted what was best for me.  I had asked him where he wanted to sleep and he looked around and said I can sleep here on the couch it's not a problem.  I looked at him and shook my head and told him that wouldn't do.  "You know something we are both adults and there is no reason you can't sleep on the bed with me."  He looked at me and smiled.  "From the day we first met I have wanted to know what it would feel like to hold you in my arms next to me in bed.  I have found myself wanting to know if it feels just as good to wake up to you as it does to hold you.  It's not about the s*x but about the connection.  If you are sure that you want to share a bed with me than I will gladly lay in bed with you."  I couldn’t help the sigh that left my mouth I wanted the same thing and maybe even a little more.  I was deeply attracted to this man and wanted to know more than just what it would be like to wake up beside him.  I wanted to feel him touch me and caress me.  I wanted him to hold me and kiss me.  I wanted him to make love to me and I didn't understand where this craving was coming from.  I needed this man more than I could ever remember needing anyone else in the world.  I needed to figure out how I could effectively make the moves on this man without him outright rejecting me.  He had just said that s*x wasn't his reasoning for wanting to wake up next to me he wanted to see if there was the connection in the morning.  But I wanted to make sure there was a s****l connection as well.  I had lived life in a marriage that there was no s****l connection and I was not going to live that life ever again.  We may connect on one level and be totally incompatible in the s*x department.  While I found myself deeply attracted to him, I needed to know if it went any deeper.  I knew that there was a deep connection between us and was almost certain that it would translate well into the bedroom.  How could it not?  I hadn't felt that connection with anyone not even Ray.  With Ray I had mistaken mutual respect and attraction for s****l attraction.  I had been taught to believe that the feelings you have for someone outside the bedroom would also apply to the inside of the bedroom.  I was instructed to just please my man regardless of what I needed.  I was not going to live that life again.  What I was going to do was remain single and play the field if I can't find a man that would let me, please and be pleased in the bedroom.

As it neared time for us to go to bed, I was growing anxious about what I was about to do.  Could I really pull it off?  Should I break through the barriers that Ray had set in my head and make the first move on this man?  Ray had told me that it actually turned a guy off when the woman made the first move.  He didn't want to be touched by the woman he just wanted a woman to lay there and let him do all the work.  Turns out Ray was lying his ass off because when my sister started telling me about all the things that they did in bed it shocked me a lot.  Not only was Jessica touching him and making the first move often enough but she was doing other things with him that I had always wanted to try.  I was hurt beyond measure by Ray when my younger sister was describing those things to me.  I felt betrayed because I knew that I had suggested those things before Jessica and Ray had gotten together.  Why would he be willing to do that with Jessica and not me?  It wasn't the stupid thing of girls you marry and girls you don't because he left me for Jessica.  He was going to marry Jessica so that whole reason went out the door really quick.  When I confronted him about it, he still stuck to his adage.  He went on to explain that yes, he and Jessica were getting married because he had been married to the "good" girl and now he wanted to be married to a kinkier girl.  He couldn't bring himself to do those things with me because he felt it tarnished me too much to even try.  He wanted me to continue to be a lady in the bedroom as well as public.  But with Jessica he found she could be a lady in public and a slut in bed and he really liked that.  I cried and told him that I could be that girl if he would just give me a chance.  He grabbed my hand and told me that wasn't how he saw me and he never would.  He even went as far to tell me that no man would ever see me that way because even if they could look past the chubby side of me, they wouldn't get past the angelic look of my face.  He went on to tell me that I also possessed an air about me that told people I was a very pure and sweet soul and most men didn't want to tarnish that sweet woman.  They wanted to keep that soul pure and wholesome but eventually they would grow tired of it in their lives like he did and want to move on.  That cut me like a knife and I didn't know how to handle that comment.  He knew I struggled with my weight and how I felt I looked and then to add something else onto that made it even worse.

I really didn't know how to be anything but the lady that my grandmother had taught her to be in public.  "Honey there is a face that every lady needs to put on before she walks out her door.  You don't want people on the outside of your home to see that it's anything but perfect and you are completely put together."  I took those words to heart more than anyone realized.  My grandmother and grandfather had what in my eyes was a perfect marriage until my grandfather had died several years ago.  I wanted that kind of marriage.  I could remember grandpa walking up behind grandma in the kitchen and giving her ass a little squeeze.  I could remember him twirling my grandmother around to a song that was playing on the radio and then kissing her silly.  I remembered giggling at the time.  "What's so funny?"  Mike broke through my thoughts.  I looked up at him and said "What?"  He smiled at me said "you were lost in thought but it must have been good thoughts because you were smiling."  "Oh was I.  I didn't realize it.  It wasn't anything bad I promise."  He looked at me for a few minutes making me wonder and then he said "it didn't look like that kind of smile.  I looked like a fond memory kind of smile.  When you are ready to talk about it, I would love to hear what you were thinking about."  I smiled and hugged myself.  Grabbed up my cup of cocoa, took a drink and said "I was just thinking about my grandparents when I was younger.  Grandma gave me all her advice about how to make a successful marriage and I took her words to heart because she and grandpa had such a great marriage."  He didn't say a word he just let me take a moment and continue to talk.  I wasn't used to that usually by now Ray would have changed the subject to something he was interested in but Mike was listening to me and what I had to say.  "I can remember being at their house and grandpa would squeeze grandma's ass, twirl her around to a song and even kiss her silly at different times.  The love they had was grand and I wanted nothing more than to have a love like that when I grew up.   I remember asking grandma what made her love and marriage so special and she told me her secret.  I carried that secret with me and did my best to hold true to it in every way."  He noticed that my face seemed to droop just a bit and he asked me why.  "Because Ray told me that I was the type of girl you married and not the type you f**k because of how my grandmother had taught me to be.  I was too 'pure' for him to tarnish me like that and want those kinds of things from me."

Mike’s POV

I shook my head and could tell that she was confused as to why I was shaking it and said "your ex-husband was an i***t.  Sorry but it's true."  She smiled at my comment I probably didn't know how true my statement was "and I've met that ex of yours he is an i***t.  When the doctor told us that you had been raped, he had to ask the doctor what he meant by that. It was like the man didn’t understand that when a woman is forced into s*x against her will it is called rape."  She opened her mouth to say something and closed it again. She took a few minutes to think about Mike’s statement looked at him and said “did he really have to ask what rape was?”  She couldn't believe it.  She didn't like the fact that she was raped but I was thankful of one thing.  The only thing she remembered from the attack was the initial onslaught of the assault.  Nobody was really certain if she would remember a whole lot of the assault or if she was fortunate enough to be unconscious for the bulk of it.  I couldn't really say that it would be fortunate for this to happen to anyone no matter what the circumstances but I only hoped for Lisa’s sake that it wouldn’t hold to much damage for her emotionally.  I would rather it not have happened at all but I can't change the past, hell, if I am honest with myself, I would have rather she went out with me that night instead.  The man that attacked her was caught and he would be facing the consequences.  Thanks to my crew at the restaurant, he wasn’t going anywhere that night.  Those guys were getting a huge bonus at the end of the month.  The testing would be run in the morning when the DA would be able to get a judge to sign off on the subpoena to force a DNA comparison to Sam and the semen found on her clothes.  Breaking myself out of my thoughts I spoke up and said "If you were to pure for him then why did he marry you in the first place?  I don't get that.  Because in my opinion the girl you marry and the girl you f**k should be one in the same."  She started to blush at that statement and was at a loss for words on how to answer that one.  "I just think at the time I was elusive to him and the only way he was going to get into my pants was if we got married.  I was a virgin when we got married and I was adamant that I would remain that way until I was married.  He told me that he was ok with that and then he asked me to marry him and pushed for the wedding to be as soon as possible because he wanted to honor me and didn't think he could wait that long.  I really think he didn't think through getting married and what a commitment it really was.  I think he went along with the motions for a few years but I later found out he was seeking solace in the arms of others from almost the beginning."  With that she started to cry and I put my arms around her and said "he isn't worth the tears in my opinion but I get that you loved him.  I think you should take your medicine and head to bed."  She smiled and nodded and headed towards her bedroom.  Watching her walk away knowing that Ray had caused her so much pain emotionally was killing me.  I mean I still think the guy was an i***t and a coward but he also was showing some real remorse as to how he treated this angel while they were together.  He had told me that himself.  He didn’t realize what he had while he had her and now that she was gone it was lost to him forever.  I smiled at that and thought to myself that his loss was my gain because not a day would go by from here on out that I didn’t treat her like the queen she was.  I would do my best to treat her daughters like the little princesses they were meant to be as well.  I wondered what her reaction would be when I show her my house and let her know how much money I have.  She was the first woman I had met in a long time that hadn’t researched me before dating me.  She had no clue as to how much I actually had and that she would never want for anything in her life.  This humble little home she is living in is nice but she would be in luxury.