SAJDA

PUKAAR

PUKAAR*

Ab dil toote ga_

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_"Beta... Wo tujhe bula raha hai."_

Ammi ka jumla mere kaan mein goonj raha tha.

Par main bistar se hil na saka.

10 saal.

10 saal main us se munh pher ke khara raha. Ab achanak kaise jaaun? Kya kahun? Kya munh leke jaaun?

Poora din guzar gaya. Main kamray se nahi nikla. Maa ne 3 baar khana liya. Main ne nahi khaya. Zinda laash bana para raha.

Raat hui.

11 bajay. 12 bajay. 1 bajay.

2 bajay aankh khul gayi. Aadat se. Roz isi waqt uth ke rota tha. Aaj bhi aankh khul gayi. Par aaj rona nahi aya.

Ajeeb sa sukoon tha kamray mein. Khirki se chand ki roshni aa rahi thi. Seedha farsh pe par rahi thi. Jahan ammi ki jaye-namaz bichi rehti thi.

Main utha. Farsh pe paon rakha. Thand laga.

Aahista se jaye-namaz ke paas gaya.

10 saal ho gaye thay ise haath lagaye. Mitti ki boo aa rahi thi is se. Ammi ki boo.

Main ne haath lagaya. Kapra sakht ho gaya tha.

Dil ne kaha: _"Wapis chala ja. Tu is qabil nahi."_

Par pairon ne saath nahi diya. Main wahi baith gaya. Zameen pe. Jaye-namaz ke bilkul saamne.

Kya karun? Kya parhun? Surah yaad nahi. Dua yaad nahi. 10 saal mein sab bhool gaya tha.

Bas munh se nikla:

_"Main aa gaya."_

Aur phir main toot gaya.

Bachay ki tarah phoot phoot ke ro pada. 10 saal ka saara zeher, saari narazgi, saari thakan... sab aansu ban ke beh nikla.

_"Mujhe maaf kar de... Main bohat bura hun... Main ne tujh se gila kiya... Tujhe bura bhala kaha... Main jaanta hun main ghalat tha... Par tu to maaf karne wala hai na?"_

Pata nahi kitni dair rota raha. Zameen geeli ho gayi thi.

Phir achanak sukoon.

Aisa sukoon ke jaise koi maa bache ka sir god mein rakh le.

Main sajday mein gir gaya.

Pehla sajda. 10 saal baad.

Matha zameen pe rakha to laga zameen ne mujhe tham liya ho.

Aankh band ki to andhera nahi tha. Roshni thi.

Aur dil mein awaaz aayi. Meri nahi. Kisi aur ki.

_"Main kab naraz hua tha tujh se?"_

Bas.

Ek jumla. Aur mera 10 saal ka shikwa khatam.

Main uth na saka. Wahi para raha. Pata nahi kab neend aa gayi.

Suba aankh khuli to main jaye-namaz pe soya hua tha. Sir ke neechay haath. Aansu sookh chukay thay.

Ammi darwazay mein khari thi. Muskurra rahi thi.

Boli kuch nahi. Bas chai ka cup rakh ke chali gayi.

Chai pee to pata chala.

10 saal se chai pheeki pee raha tha main.

Aaj meethi lag rahi thi.

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*Khatam Chapter2