Loving Professor Gill

Chapter. 7

Anna hadn’t left the house for two days. The curtains stayed drawn, and the once bright room she loved felt heavy with silence. She had been keeping herself busy doing nothing, just lying there, sometimes crying, at times staring at the ceiling, replaying every single word Ryan had said to her. The look in his eyes when he said he hadn’t been with anyone haunted her. Sometimes, she believed him. Other times, the image of Brenda laughing beside him crept in and tore her faith apart.

At night, her mind wasn’t kind to her either. Dreams came in fragments, Ryan’s hands brushing against her cheek, his lips whispering her name, his laugh filling her space. In those dreams, everything was perfect. She could feel the warmth of his breath, the way his eyes softened when he looked at her, and how safe she felt in his arms. But when she woke up, her heart raced, her hands shook, and her mind went blank. She could never remember it all, only pieces that made her chest ache.

By the third morning, she had forced herself to get out of bed. She wasn’t the kind of woman to let heartbreak destroy her. She had always believed she was strong, that she could face anything. But when it came to Ryan, all that strength seemed to scatter like sand in the wind. He was her weakness, the one man who could make her heart surrender even when her mind screamed not to.

As she made her tea, there was a knock at the door. She hesitated for a second, wondering if it was Ryan again. Her heart wanted it to be him, but her pride didn’t. When she opened the door, it wasn’t Ryan standing there; it was Brenda.

“Brenda?” Anna’s voice was low, surprised.

“Hey,” Brenda smiled politely, holding a paper bag. “I thought I’d come check on you. I heard you weren’t feeling well.”

Anna didn’t buy the concern, but she still stepped aside and let her in. She wasn’t about to show Brenda she was scared or broken.

“I’m fine,” Anna said, folding her arms. “You didn’t have to come all the way.”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Brenda said sweetly, setting the bag on the table. “I just brought some pastries from that bakery you like. Ryan mentioned that once you loved their chocolate croissants.”

The mention of his name made Anna’s stomach tighten. Brenda didn’t miss that. She smiled faintly, pretending innocence but knowing exactly what she was doing.

“Ryan talks about me?” Anna asked, trying to sound casual.

“Sometimes,” Brenda shrugged, taking a seat. “You know how he is. Always trying to protect the people he cares about. He’s such a good man, even when people misunderstand him.”

Anna studied her, her jaw tightening. “Is that what you think I did? Misunderstood him?”

Brenda gave a soft laugh. “Oh, I didn’t mean that. It’s just… he’s been going through a lot. I’ve known Ryan for years, and sometimes he doesn’t handle things the right way. But he’s trying. He really is.”

Anna frowned. “You’ve known him for years?”

Brenda paused, pretending to choose her words carefully. “Well, yes. Before you two met. We used to work together… and, I guess, we were close once. But that’s all in the past now.”

The words hit Anna like a cold wind. She masked her reaction, biting the inside of her cheek. “Close?” she repeated quietly.

Brenda smiled faintly. “We all have a past, don’t we?”

Anna didn’t reply. She wanted to throw Brenda out, but instead, she stood there, frozen. Every part of her wanted to believe Brenda was just being manipulative, but her heart was whispering a question she didn’t want to ask — what if it was true?

Brenda stood and smoothed her dress. “Anyway, I should go. You need rest. Just… don’t be too hard on Ryan. He’s not perfect, but he will always love deeply. That’s why people like us find it hard to stay mad at him.”

That last sentence lingered long after Brenda closed the door.

Ryan, on the other hand, had spent the same two days pacing around his apartment; he hadn’t gone to class. Every time he picked up his phone to call Anna, he’d end up putting it down again. How could he tell her the truth when the truth was the very thing that could destroy her trust completely?

He looked around his messy room, the half-drunk coffee, the untouched books, the sleepless nights and realised he couldn’t live like this anymore. Anna deserved the truth, even if it cost him her love. She deserved to hear it from him, not from Brenda’s poisoned mouth.

He grabbed his jacket and left.

Anna was sitting by the window when she saw Ryan’s car pull up outside. Her heart skipped a beat before she could even stop it. She tried to convince herself to ignore him, to stay seated, to be strong, but her legs had a mind of their own. By the time he knocked, she was already at the door.

When she opened it, neither of them spoke for a few seconds. The silence said everything; they didn’t know how to say.

“Anna…” he began, his voice low. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now, but I can’t keep running away from this. From you.”

Anna crossed her arms, steadying herself. “You’ve been doing a great job of running so far.”

“I know.” He exhaled. “I just… I didn’t want to lose you.”

She laughed softly, though it held no humour. “You should’ve thought about that before Brenda started showing up everywhere I turned.”

“Brenda doesn’t mean anything to me,” he said quickly.

“Then why is she always around you, Ryan? Why does she talk like she knows you better than I ever could?”

Ryan hesitated. That silence was all the confirmation Anna needed.

“See?” she said, shaking her head. “You don’t even know how to lie to me anymore.”

“I’m not lying, Anna! It’s complicated.”

“It’s only complicated because you let it be!” she snapped. “You never set boundaries, you let her touch you, call you at all hours, make me feel like the other woman in my own relationship.”

Ryan ran a hand through his hair. “You’re right. I didn’t handle it the way I should have. But I swear to you, there’s nothing between us now. Whatever happened before… It’s over.”

Her breath caught. “Before?”

He closed his eyes for a moment. “Anna, please, don’t make me explain it like this.”

“No, Ryan,” she said firmly, standing her ground. “You owe me that much. What happened before?”

He took a step closer. “It was a long time ago. I didn’t even know you then.”

“But you knew her,” she whispered. “You were with her.”

Ryan’s silence was answer enough.

Tears welled up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She looked at him, the man she had loved, the man she had believed in. She felt a mix of heartbreak and longing tearing her apart inside. Even now, standing before him, she wanted to reach for him. Her heart still beat faster for him. Her knees still felt weak when he said her name. But she couldn’t let herself give in.

“I think you should leave,” she said quietly.

“Anna, please—”

“Leave, Ryan.” Her voice trembled, but she stayed strong. “Before I forget that I deserve better.”

He stood there for a moment, looking at her as though trying to memorise her face, and then turned away. The sound of the door closing behind him echoed louder than anything she’d ever heard.

That night, Anna tossed and turned in her bed. When she finally drifted off, she dreamt of Ryan again, his hand tracing the curve of her jaw, his lips whispering something she couldn’t quite remember. The surrounding air in the dream felt warm, safe, and cruelly familiar. When she woke, tears stained her pillow. She couldn’t recall the words, but the ache in her chest told her she didn’t need to.

Across town, Ryan sat alone in his car, staring out at the night. He had thought coming clean would make things right, but it had only torn the distance wider. Still, he knew there was no turning back. The truth was bound to come out, all of it.

And the truth was, Brenda wasn’t just someone from his past.

She was once the woman he almost married.