Loving Professor Gill

Chapter 2

The next day in class i tried not to look at his perfectly sculpted body and instead try to concentrate on what he was teaching us. It was hard but good thing i had Alex next to me to remind me to close my mouth when i was drooling.

Not once did he look at me, he avoided eye contact with me the rest of the class, i was slightly disappointed, even Alex noticed this, but I told her that I’ll explain later.

“Miss. Luann please stays behind” he said as I was heading to the door with Alex, I wonder what he wants now. I walked to where he was and stood there waiting for him to talk, staring at him i wonder if he has a girlfriend I bet she is beautiful model, a man like him could not go without being noticed. i bet he had women chasing after him, and stupid me was busy lusting over him, will not fall for a girl like me, i bet he thought i was immature well it doesn’t matter anyway it’s not like I expected to come running to confessing his eternal love for me.

Thinking that made me laugh out loud imagine Ryan , falling on his knees begging me to love him, bad Anna you shouldn’t think of him that way he is a jerk. I wonder way he hated me so much i don’t remember doing anything wrong to him. But it was better when he looked at me with hatred instead of him finding out about my love for him. I bet he will laugh at my face then he will be disgusted with me i can just imagine that.

He moved closer to where i stood and looked at me keenly i was expecting him to stand at a distance but he was almost on my face so i moved back a little. That caught his attention; i couldn’t trust myself not to do something stupid like kiss him. His wonderful scent was causing a riot in my brain. Keep your distance Anna you can do this, don’t let him get to you

“Are you scared of me?” He asked with a frown. “Am not scared of you “I said in a low voice, my heart was beating hard in my chest “then why are you moving away from me?”.

“I just don’t like standing so close to people” I replied trying to keep my nerves in check. I took my eyes away from his face and looked behind him at nothing in particular. His manly scent brought butterflies to my stomach.

He moved away from me standing at a distance and deep down i felt disappointed but I immediately covered it up with a straight face. He crossed his masculine harms across his chest, and I swallow silently. “Mr. Gill...” I tried to talk but was immediately gut off by his deep voice “it’s Ryan, you can call me Ryan”.

“Mr. Gill, just tell me why you asked me to stay back?” I said while trying to avoid any eye contact with him. I knew if i looked at him i will forget about staying away from him. He looked down at his laptop not saying anything. “did you manage to survive that neighborhood of yours ?, I thought I will wake up to your dead, guess people like you really know how to survive “he said while looking at me with disgust.

” look Mr. Gill, I know I repulse you very much and I know you can’t stand me so I suggest you don’t talk to me or look at me and I’ll do the same, problem solved, you will never see me again except in class of which I’ll be out of anyway in a few months and I clearly understand. . “I went silent when he turned to me fast and took large steps my way, I moved back slightly but I hit a wall.

“You got that right am not interested in talking to you or associating myself with you in anyway, sadly i have to tolerate you in class, you should know i hate you” he said with venom. that hurts, hearing him say that he hates me really hurts a lot i bit down on my lower lip to stop from crying i can’t let him get to me so I put up my walls and looked at him with no emotion a habit you learn when your used to hiding your feelings. I saw him holding my phone in his hand and i was really surprised, because i had been looking for it thinking i lost it

“Who is the guy Anna? Who is Ian? And why does he text you at night, do you have a boyfriend “he roared.

“You went through my phone? And even if he was my boyfriend which he is, it is none of your business” I answered back with the same voice he used.

“So he is your boyfriend, “he said with a hurt expression, which made me want to tell him the truth that Ian in fact isn’t my boyfriend.

“Do you love him Anna? Tell me, do you love him that much? “He asked me 

I looked away from him not wanting to see his broken expression, and nodded in agreement. I couldn’t use my voice in fear of not being able to say yes without teary eyes. 

“How long has it been going on? How long have you known him? “Asked me after turning his back on me he seemed hurt by the sound of his voice. Why would he be hurt by me having a boyfriend.

” why do you even care? You are my teacher and I’m the student you always find fun in embarrassing. You shouldn’t be questioning me about my private life, now give me my phone so I can get going am already late “I really felt good standing up for myself.

He turned to me with a thoughtful look and I stood there waiting for another insult to come out of his mouth, but I was surprised at what he said next.

“What do you plan to do after graduating Anna? , have you thought that far?” I was really surprised because expecting him to say something horrible, but not ask me about my plans.

” i am planning on opening my own business, but first I have to find a job to gain some experience and capital, why are you even asking me this? “I told him trying to avoid eye contact.

“So have you started working on getting a job, I know someone who will be willing to take in inexperienced interns “and there goes the insult.

“thanks, but no thanks i don’t want to have to owe you anything, i can find a job on my own, and even if you were the last person on earth i won’t come to you for help Mr. Gill,” i told him trying to stand up to his insinuation that i was dumb and stupid.

He looked at me like he wanted to kill me but i didn’t back down i kept eye contact because i didn’t want to be a coward. There was a knock on the door and i turned from him to find a beautiful woman standing at the door looking at us with amusement. “Rye i thought we were meeting at the parking lot, have been waiting for you and i decided to come what was taking you so long,” the woman said while hugging him and i stood there feeling out of place. She kissed him on the cheek and i felt like getting out of there. it was so much pain to endure seeing him with someone else hurt more than i had expected.

“Who is this? aren’t going to introduce us Ry..” the woman said looking at him , but i didn’t want to be a third wheel so i went to walk out but the woman stopped me. “Hey maybe you can join us we are going to the diner near the school, come on,” she said holding my hand.

“Sorry but i don’t think i can join you guys have to be somewhere,” i said trying to make an excuse to get away. Mr. Gill was just standing there not saying anything and it was the first time i saw him tense because he seems to be in control all the time. I didn’t want to witness him being all goggle eyed with someone it will be like a stab in my heart. “My name is Leila, and you,” the woman said” I’m Anna, just a student of Mr. Gill” I told her nervously.

“Nice to meet you Anna, have never met any of Ray’s students before, come lets go” she said dragging me along. i could feel Mr. Gill’s eyes on me following me all the way to the parking lot he opened the passenger door for Leila he went to open the door for me but i stopped him. “Are you sure about this, because i don’t want to be a third wheel between you guys” i said looking at him. He was angry at me i could see but i didn’t know what i had done wrong. I bet he wanted to have a nice time with his girlfriend and I was intruding on that. That is why i didn’t want to go with them, “just get in the car already Anna your already here anyway so you might as well come with us and quit wasting my time,” he told me.

“So what are you going to do after school, “Leila said as we were eating, i went to answer but Mr. Gill guts me off “Lei, i don’t think Anna want to answer that,” wow they even have nicknames for each other. This is why i did not want to be here it hurts seeing him be with another woman. i knew i never had a chance with him but seeing him like this only confirmed what i already knew. I watched as Leila smiled at him lovingly as they were talking about something and that is when i realized i had tuned out.

“Will you be coming with me to Hong Kong next week? and don’t tell me you forgot about it Ryan,” Leila told him.” i don’t have time Leila, can’t you find one of your friends to go with you am busy,” he said

“But you know i want you there it will be my first show in Hong Kong, you promised i need you to be there” Leila tried to convince him. “You see Anna i have i fashion show to attend next week, and he promised to accompany me, and now he is bailing on me,”

How cliche he is dating a model i should have expected that as hot as he is, he can only end up with the best. And here i am daydreaming about him and i how bathetic Anna wake up and stop lusting over him, move on with your life there are so many guys to settle for. Even as i tell myself that i knew he was the only one for me. And it was hard forgetting, have tried before and it did not get me anywhere. i even contemplated transferring out of his class but i was almost graduating so i just have to suck it up till i graduate.

i watch them talking with Leila hand on his shoulder and i decided that i could not take it anymore. “have to be somewhere, it was nice meeting you Leila,” i said standing up.

“Where are you heading? Maybe we can drop you “Mr. Gill said but i did not want to witness him with her anymore. I felt like crying and i could not let him see me like that. I did not answer him and rushed out of there with tears streaming down my face. It hurts so much, it was better when i did not know he was dating someone. I knew a day will come when i will witness all this, i feel like dying. Why... Why did i have to fall for him? Why... Couldn’t it be someone else simple likes the guys in my class? The first guy am in love with and it’s my professor, what am i going to do, i can’t let him find out he will laugh at me and think am stupid. 

I didn’t hear Me. Gill follow me outside until he called me, I wiped my eyes dry. He doesn’t need to see this, ” hey are you ok, you just rushed out without answering me” he said coming closer to where I was 

“am ok I just have to be somewhere else, go back inside Leila must be waiting, don’t mind me, ” I assured him trying to keep my voice steady.

“Sorry about my sister she can be talkative sometimes, “he said “why are your eyes red where you crying?” 

she is his sister, I felt relieved to hear that. “No i was not crying, something got in my eye” I answered” so she is your sister, I thought she was your girlfriend” where did that come from Anna, you really know how to mess up I mentally scolded myself.

“So that is why your crying, because I was seeing someone, Anna I’m flattered, but you’re not exactly my type, I can’t even stand you let alone date you” he said with disgust. I felt my heart break again, hearing him say that was like the final awakening to my stupid brain. 

I tried to tell him off but words could not come out of my mouth, I could feel the burning tears ready to fall and I turned to walk away before he sees how he could shatter me with just his words. I could hear call my name but I couldn’t look back, I wanted to get out of there before I break down. I searched for my phone to call Alex only to realize that he still had it. It started raining and I didn’t even care anymore I could die for all I care nobody will mourn me anyway, at least the pain will stop. I went to cross the street and I didn’t realize till it was too late that there was a car heading my way. And suddenly there was only darkness, I could feel someone holding my hand but I couldn’t move. I tried to speak but the sleep was too good, all I could think about was will he even care? Will he cry for me? Why does love gave to hurt so much? I slowly closed my eyes welcoming the sleep i felt so peaceful.