The happiness of middle child

I am a middle child, no one asking me about how i feel. My mother and father either my siblings never ask me how my life recently becoming, everytime i'm trying to express my feelings they always think that i am arguing, they think that i am rude and selfless. For once in my life i pray to god to hear my prayers i know god has a plan, but sometimes i just wanna lose everything i wanna be a kid forever. A kid who always need a attention 24/7, a kid that can cry on his parents and a kid who can express his feeling where and when the pain caused on me, i wish i becoming one of their favorite. But at the same time i was thankful for what live i have despite of being a middle child i have this one girl who make me feel safe, but what if my parents find out that i am not impress on a boy, but because i am inlove in a girl. I am nit a masculine girl, i am a feminine , i wear makeup i wear sexy outfits and everything. So what if my parents find out?, then if they find out i guess i am again a girl who had no safe place. As i expected they find out, and they wanted me to broke up with her, but how i'm gonna tell them that she's my one and only, she's the one i have, she's my one cal away, and she's my why, when my parents can't even listen on the simple expression i have. Even i am sad, exhausted, tired. So how i'm gonna keep this girl?.