AGAIN MY HEART: Her Alphas Regret

A SCENT I'D COME TO DESPISE

LEILANI

The uneasiness in my nerves didn’t settle. I’d thought it would go away eventually when the private plane took off, but it didn’t. A heaviness sat in my chest throughout the flight, and by the time the plane landed, I was numb all over.

Everything that has happened this week feels like a bad fever dream, one I wish I could wake up from. I want to believe that I am doing the right thing. I know I am because how on earth would I have been okay with sending my younger brother to a slaughterhouse? I couldn’t let that happen.

Even Eystein refused to understand my decision. He couldn’t fathom why I felt so responsible for people I hadn’t known my entire life. But those people were my family, my blood, and from the moment they found me, they’ve been nothing but the best to me.

They never expected anything from me and gave freely. They loved me unconditionally because they always loved me.

And the boys—my siblings—had no obligation to welcome me into their family, but still, from the moment I showed up, they’ve treated me with nothing more than acceptance, understanding, respect and love. What more reason would I need to protect them? Besides, Xenyre was my kingdom too.

If this situation hadn’t happened, I would’ve ended up on that throne someday as the Omega Ruler of Xenyre. That was my son’s home too and his inheritance; it was my duty to protect it.

And whilst Eystein’s reaction might’ve confused me, I guess I wasn’t entirely surprised. There was a part of me that was always waiting for the other shoe to drop in a relationship. That wary part of me that believed everything we had, was some sort of fallacy that would come crumbling down. And it did.

Despite my initial intention not to break up with him. I’d ended up calling it off with him today via text message. Was it cruel to do? I wasn’t sure. He had been cruel to me, too. Perhaps not cruel, but he had been selfish.

He had demanded my body like it was a price he was owed for sticking to me all these years. Did it hurt to know he was probably no different from Aesir?

It was a mess in my head because I wasn’t sure how to place him. The simple truth was, I realised I just couldn’t love him anymore. He broke my heart. It wasn’t because of s*x. s*x wasn’t something so magnificent that I was holding out on because I had a purity I wanted to preserve.

No.

It was not a big deal to do. I just simply wanted to be sure I was making the right choice this time, and I wasn’t using my body as a means to keep another Alpha.

It was what I had done with Aesir. Everything between us—although it was nothing—what transpired between us started with s*x. And it continued because I thought if I gave him my body as much as he craved it, he would keep me. He would change his mind about me, and he would stay.

I didn’t want that to be the situation with Eystein. I needed to be sure he was staying because of me as a person, because of what I am to him and not because of the pleasures my body could give him.

But I guess that didn’t matter in the end, did it?

I realised I had circled back to square one when I told Eystein I didn’t want to break up and decided to have s*x with him just to reassure him that I wasn’t going to do it with another alpha.

It was stupid. I wanted to prove a point because s*x didn’t matter to me. He was what mattered to me. I had fallen in love with him, fallen in with the first Alpha, who treated me like I was worth something. But I guess all that was just a game for him, I guess? A game to see how much he had to do to earn my trust and get me into bed.

We had s*x, alright. It wasn’t anything magical. I’m not even sure I know what it was supposed to feel like. In the past, when we would kiss, I’d love it. I loved how it made me feel, how it made my body hot and my insides aching with need. But none of those feelings were present a few days ago. I felt numb all over.

The whole thing had been mechanical to me, but I guess he enjoyed himself because he was beaming after it ended. He’d made me dinner, cleaned me up, treated me like I was worth something again and then cuddled me to sleep.

I had lain awake all night just staring into nothing. When he woke me up with a good-morning kiss, and I felt nothing, I realised the love I had for him was gone. I just felt hollow, my heart aching as I left his mansion that day. I knew it was the end for us.

“Are you alright?” Rain asked, his voice pulling me out of the mess in my head.

I pulled away from the car window as he placed his hands over mine. “I’m fine,” I replied with a smile.

“You know you don’t have to do this, right? I can still…”

“No!” I responded firmly before he could finish his sentence. “You have a life ahead of you. You haven’t even had the chance to fall in love, and we’re supposed to send you to some old, miserable Alpha so he can ruin your beauty.”

“He’s not that old, you know,” Rain responded, rolling his eyes. “He’s like thirty-eight or thirty-six. I looked him up, and he’s handsome too,” he said, smiling.

I glared at him even though I knew he was trying to make light of the situation so I could cheer up. “And you’re seventeen, you knucklehead.”

Rain shrugged. “But I'll be eighteen next year. What difference does it make? In the werewolf age of majority, I am already of age, even past the threshold of casual courting. You know, omegas are meant to be courted as soon as they turn fifteen, which is like the equivalent of eighteen years of age if we were human. So, I am like an old lady, kinda.”

I rolled my eyes at his antics. “Keep spewing nonsense, and I’ll be sending you back with Pa and Ma when they leave.” He glared, rolled his eyes, then shut up, but his hand never left mine.

He had insisted on coming with us. Insisted on staying here with me. I know he felt guilty. He told me he thinks Eystein would hate him because it should have been him and not me. And he feels responsible for whatever has happened to my relationship with Eystein.

I don’t know why he thinks his presence here would make a difference, but he is convinced that it’s his way of protecting me. That if he stays with me, the Alpha I’m betrothed to would think twice before trying anything funny.

Well, thankfully for me, I don’t think the Alpha would be trying anything funny. From what I’ve learned, he isn’t keen about this union either. He wants nothing to do with the federation’s demands, but it seems his court is bearing down on him, which is why he ended up agreeing to this.

He also doesn’t want a bride. And he has told the federation that he’s only going to stick with their plan for six months, and after that, if we form no compatibility bond, he'll pull away from the engagement. Thankfully, our visions align, so I don’t have to worry about him trying anything funny. Neither of us wants this. Which means I just have to dine and wine in his court for the next six months and be done.

But since both our kingdoms have agreed to this, the federation has agreed to cut us some slack if the engagement doesn’t fall through. And I guess they have six months to think of other ways that both our kingdoms could be allied.

For now, I just have to…

“We are here.” Pa’s voice cut through my thoughts, and I blinked as the door of the limousine opened.

I stepped outside, brows furrowing as an air of familiarity hit me.

It takes a minute for me to catch my breath and pivot from the car. It might’ve been over a decade, but I’ll recognise that magnolia tree anywhere. I swallowed hard as I turned to my parents. “The Alpha I’m betrothed to. Did you ever tell me his name? What’s his name?” I asked, unable to keep the panic out of my voice.

He said he would kill me on the spot if I ever returned. I’m not supposed to be here. I shouldn’t be here. By the gods, he’s going to find out about Avitaj. He’s going to know.

“Nani, are you okay?” Ma asked, rushing forward.

“Just tell me his name,” I mumbled. A look of concern crossed her face as she turned to Pa. Even Rain had walked around the car to my side.

“We told you his name multiple times…”

“It’s Aesir, isn’t it? Aesir Stargorn, the Alpha King of Eitbjorn. This is his palace. I’d recognise it anywhere."

“Yes, it’s Alpha King Aesir.” Pa frowned. “Have you been to his palace before? Is there something wrong?”

I looked at him, then at Ma. “He… Avi. It’s him. He’s…” I didn’t need to finish my sentence. A look of understanding crossed their face, and my parents’ expression went from concerned to angry in a few seconds.

“Alpha King Valois, Luna Queen, we’ve been expecting you…” A female voice cut through the silence between us.

My entire frame stiffened as a scent I’d come to despise enveloped my body.