My Sweet Tomato

Perhaps to this day I still don't understand my courage in doing this things. In the infp world, I have seen a lot of people coming and going in the past twenty years, and in my impervious and naive relationship values at that time, I always thought that the only secret to keep a relationship alive was the freshness brought by different people. Quick dates, confirmed relationships, and short-term relationships were like cheap fast food, interspersed in my boring life. Looking at the twenty-two years of failure in a different way, it could be that after five years of piano and four years of American voice, a temporary change of topic pattern two days before the exams would not be passed, and thus not be eligible for the Conservatory of Music. As in learning, most of the time in producing crap, the few moments of nervousness will only come when it's 12 hours before a report deadline but still mostly unwritten, the last chance to retake a course, and presentations. Doing things three minutes hot, to people three minutes hot, but still comfortable, still choose to immerse in self-decadence but full of guilt in the inner world, since the inner world rotten and stink. In the final analysis, I am childishly wasting the limited cost of trial and error to do something meaningless. My growth, my change, it all started with one person. At the beginning of our story, it was just an ordinary afternoon, and if I had to add a highlight, it would be "Can't sleep and drink in the middle of the night, hit my head on the doorknob, and passed out on the toilet, thus starting a six-month headache." A life that seems decadent and full of darkness, if you add the addition of completing two assessment in three days and solving bug the problem of the teammate who doesn't do anything about it, does it seem more reasonable. Back to the point, after a long period of silence in my love life, it was not straightforward to realize how quickly it would come, as if even now I could not figure out, what was thrown into the lake? What made the waves? The beginning of our story was sudden and quick, but it became a memory that I will never forget and will continue to be filled with courage. I still can't believe that it was just a casual greeting, just because of a software bug that prevented the message from popping up, just my drunken outgoing noise, that we managed to add the usual software programs. The magical social software username as it were, which became the beginning of our conversation and the beginning of a story that would not end. I said my username symbolizes my freedom and confusion, while yours represents importance and aspiration. I have compared myself to a monster with confined limbs who is voluntarily trapped in a room but longs for a companion, and I have compared those who pass by to companions, but not really companions, who are willing to give of themselves and spend part of their time seeing new and strange creatures, but are unwilling to unchain me from the chains that trap me and show me the world outside the house. Perhaps I had volunteered to be locked in that airtight and dark room, and I didn't really remember much about the past at the moment. It wasn't until after being together for a long time that I realized that the crush I had on you wasn't the product of a drunken lack of sobriety, but rather a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces that was constantly coming together to make the pieces fit. What felt magical was that each of those parts was what I thought was important in the puzzle, perhaps indispensable, perhaps adding to the beauty. Likewise, the journey to find the parts wasn't really spontaneous, but neither did it set any traps. I don't know if it's something I've sensed or if it's something I've thought about, but I've thought about each sentence over and over again. I don't think I'm a talkative person, so instead of saying something that doesn't make sense and making both sides guess what the other side is thinking, I chose to just throw out my thoughts, questions and favorites, and see how the other side responds, then make the next adjustment. Perhaps still full of heart, because it doesn't know how to express it, the thought that appeared deep inside the moment I saw the photo and screamed frantically, "This lady is really too cute! Talk to her! Quickly!"