It's time to move on

Chapter 3

I finally find the gym and see Jason waiting for me. He is leaning on the hood of his car with his arms crossed over his chest.

Dammit that is so sexy.

What am I going to do?

I park next to him.

I’m nervous about seeing him again. My palms are sweating and I have butterflies in my stomach.

“You showed up. You had me worried there for a second.” Jason says as I get out of the car.

“Couldn’t find it at first. Still not sure why we are here.” I say, putting my keys in my handbag.

“Follow me and I’ll show you.”

I follow him though the gym to a back door when he opens it up I see more people, a boxing ring and a few punching bags. They are really tough looking people. Each smile or wave at me as we pass and I’m still unsure of why we are here.

Jason stops at the boxing ring and turns to me. “If you are willing there are a few self-defence moves that I can teach you.”

I smile. What a kind and sweet gesture. He does seem like a really good guy. “Okay.” I would love to be able to defend myself.

“Before we get started I just have something to say.” Jason says, getting on the last rope of the ring and holding on with one hand on the top rope.

“Attention people! Attention people! Apologies for interrupting everyone I just want to ask everyone here to keep an eye on, Rebecca.” He starts and my face heats up of embarrassment as people turn their attention on him and me. He grins then continues when he is sure he has everyone’s attention. “ I am going to teach her some self-defence but if anyone sees anything that they don’t like or if you feel like I’m putting this lovely woman in any danger you have my permission to kick my ass. Thank you.”  He finishes and bows a little.

I am so embarrassed. A few people cheer while others clap, I’m sure that I’m blushing.

“Why did you do that?” I ask flustered.

“Because I want you to feel safe. In order for me to teach you anything I am going to have to touch you and I don’t want you to be scared.”

“I’ll try.”

“I can get someone else to do it if you don’t want me to.”

“No. I want you.” I say only realising how it sounded after the words came out. I am definitely blushing now and my face feels like it is on fire. A small smile briefly graces his lips before he continues.

“Okay first things first, get up here.” He says and I climb into the ring this feels strange a self-defence lesson. I take off my jacket and scan the room. There are a few people looking my way that just adds to my nerves.

“First move is, if you thrust your foot towards the attacker’s knee to incapacitate him or her it buys you just enough time to get away, this is much more effective than kicking the groin region. The knee is nearly impossible to block and if his or her leg hurt they can’t chase you.”

“Got it.” I nod.

“Okay, so I’m coming towards you.” He says, walking towards me.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” I know first hand what it is like to be hurt.

“You won't, I just need you to kick me in the knee.” He smiles trying to reassure me. I don’t want to hurt him. I’m frozen in place as he keeps walking my way and I can’t do anything my breathing becomes rapid and he stops.

“Hey, you okay?” He asks. The concern in his voice was clear.

“I can’t do it. I’m sorry.”  I say in-between breaths. It feels like I’m having a panic attack.

“It’s okay, just calm down.” He says. I feel so guilty he is just trying to help but the moment he came closer it felt like all the air got sucked out of the room.

“Jason, let me try.” An older lady with bushy red hair says walking up to us. She gets in the ring and tells me, “I know how you feel, my ex-husband used to beat me an inch from death every other day, Jason is the one who helped me, when that bastard tried to hit me again, I hurt him. Jason is a good guy and he will never hurt you. I promise.”

I nod at her, my breathing seems to quiet down. I know Jason is not him but maybe because I want more in life now my demons are creeping back up to the surface for me to deal with. She winks at me, “You ready.”

I shake my head but she smiles and says, “You are ready. Trust me.”

She turns to Jason and says, “Come.” He frowns and shakes his head.

“Do it. Both of you.” She orders.

Jason comes my way and I feel less nervous now. I look down at his leg and focus, when he is close enough I kick and he sinks to the floor.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” I say, kneeling beside him.

He laughs, “That was perfect. Good job.” He sits back and rubs his knee.

“Oh my goodness.” I say, covering my face with my hands.

“Hey, that was a good first try. You’re going to be a fast learner.” He says, pulling my hands away from my face.

“Thanks for your help, Shirley.” Jason says.

“You are so welcome.” Shirley grins and walks away.

“Jason, are you really  okay?” I ask worried.

“I’ll be just fine. Was this a bad idea?” He asks me.

“No. I think this might just help me.” I reply honestly. I lock eyes with him and something is happening inside me for the first time in years. I think I’m actually attracted to a man.

“You know you can also head butt someone.”

“Won’t that hurt me?” I question still on my knees beside him.

“Not if you look down while you do it. Want me to show you?”

I nod, a little unsure.

“Jerry! Come over here please.” Jason calls.

A small boy runs our way and smiles shyly at me when he reaches us, “Uncle?”

“Meet my friend, Rebecca.” Jason says standing up.

“Hello mam.” He greets politely bowing his head a little.

“Hi Jerry.” I smile back getting up.

“Jerry can you please help me. I want to show Rebecca how to do a head butt.” "Sure uncle.” Jerry replies. Jason stands up and says, “If you grab your opponent’s shirt collar, you push back then jerk him forward just make sure you look at the ground.” He pulls Jerry forward, then back and just misses Jerry’s head as he comes forward. I’m glad Jerry didn’t get hurt; he seems like a sweet boy.

“Get it.”He asks looking at me.

“I think so.” I nod

“Do you want to try it on me?”

“You want me to head butt you?”

“Just practice like I did with Jerry. If you think you’re up for it.”

I look around and notice more people are looking our way.

I grab Jason by his shirt, push him back, he is looking straight into my eye, I pull him forward, I look down and he moves his head to just miss mine.

“Good. You are doing great. Let’s take a break.”

“Okay.” I reply. I feel a little more confident now.

We go into what looks like a break room, there is a small table with two chairs, a fridge and a microwave on one side and a tiny stove on the other. Without thinking I close the door behind us, Jason looks back, “You can leave it open if you want to.”

“That’s okay.” I reply. I’m not scared of being alone with him; I believed Shirley when she said that he would never hurt me. I feel safe with him. Jason grins and gets us water from the fridge.

“Thank you.” I say after he hands me a bottle of water. “How did you get into teaching self-defence?”

“I just got tired of women being treated like punching bags for cowards.”

“It’s nice of the owner to let you do it here.” I say, sitting down on one of the chairs.

“It’s my gym.” He smiles.

“Oh, is that what you do with your day?”

“Nope, I have a manager who takes care of the day to day stuff along with some trainers. There are managers at my other places too, I mostly just move in-between them. Bored most days actually.” He says sitting down opposite me. For some unknown reason I can’t stop smiling at this man.

“What do you do?” He asks.

“I’m a bookkeeper, don’t have to deal with too many people that way and if I need to it’s mostly over the phone or via email.”

He chuckles, “I’m going to get you to do so many things that aren't anywhere near your comfort zone.”

It sounds like a promise to me, a promise that can have multiple meanings.

“Come on. Enough resting, let’s get back to it.” He says jumping up.

As we come out the door, I see a few people look our way.

I feel like I’ve done something wrong.

We get back into the ring and he says, “Right, let’s teach you to break a nose.”

“What?” I ask, shocked.

“Yeah, you’re going to like this one. Hold out your hand.” I do as I am told. He gently turns my hand around so that my palm is facing up, he gently strokes my palm as he says, and “You target your opponent’s nose with an upward palm strike.” He moves my hand as he explains. His hands are warm and strong. I feel a shiver run down my spine and a tingle there.

“Got it?” He asks and I nod. I’m not able to speak while he is touching me.

“Now I want to show you what to do when someone grabs you from behind. Are you going to be okay with me touching you?”

“Yes.” I nod. I might be more than okay with him touching me.

“Okay.” He says and moves behind me and puts one arm under mine and over mine as his hand rests on the back of my neck while the other rests on my waist. “Doing okay?” He asks softly in my ear. I nod and his grip tightens, both my arms are pinned.

“Now you have two choices you can elbow me in the gut or you can stomp on my foot.”

“What should I do?”

“You decide.”

I go with the elbow in the gut and his grip loosens but he doesn’t completely let me go, his arm still over mine and on my waist. I put my hand on his arm and tried to push it away. I lift my foot up and kick his shin, he stumbles back and I turn around, I see him coming towards me. I start getting terrible flashbacks from when Charles used to beat me, he came down on me hard, hitting and kicking me everywhere and anywhere he could find an opening. If I tried to stop him it would just get worse. I stumble back almost tripping myself at the end of the ring.

“What is happening?” Jason asks, worried.

“I saw him.” I mutter.

“This is all my fault. You did so well I wanted to see how good you would be at improvising.”

“I need some air.” I say rushing out of the gym.

The fresh air hits my face and I take in a deep breath.

“I’m really sorry for that. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, I just have to get over my issues. I haven’t seen Charles in years but what he did still haunts me.”

Jason nods his head, “How about we get something to eat?”

“Sure.” I say turning around walking backwards.

“Watch out!” He yells and grabs me by my hips pulling me tightly into his arms out of the way of a speeding car, my hands resting on either side of his shoulders; he brushes some hair out of my face with his fingertip while his other hand is still on my hip.

“Thank you.” I whisper, my tummy full of butterflies by his closeness.

“You’re welcome.” He replies letting me go and I take a step back.

“It’s been a long day; I think I should go home.” I tell him my heart is still beating fast either because of his closeness or the fact I nearly got bumped by a car.

“If that is what you want.” He replies. I nod and Jason walks me to my car and I drive home.

I let out a long breath when I closed my door. I pour water in my kettle and stand there staring into my cupboard as I wait for the water to boil. I’ve had a lot of emotions in a very short time and I feel drained. I finish making my coffee and sink down on my couch, I debate internally whether or not to send Jason a text, typing and deleting over and over. Finally I sent it.

*Thanks again for today.*

A few minutes later I got a reply.

*My pleasure. We can do it again if you want to.*

*I think that would be good.*

*Want to teach you how to throw a punch.*

*I’m sorry I am such a mess.*

*You have nothing to feel sorry about. *

*You have been so kind. I feel I’ve let you down.*

My phone rings and I see Jason is calling. “Hello.”

“You have to stop worrying about me. Nothing you did was wrong. You do and feel what you need to.”

“You’re a good guy.”

He chuckles, “Want to meet me for breakfast?”

“What is it with you and food?”  I giggle.

“You keep ditching me for meals and I am curious to know if you actually do eat.”

“Oh, I eat. A lot.”

“So are you in?”

“I’m in.”

“Great. Now get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

“Sleep tite.”

“Good night, Rebecca.”

I fall asleep almost immediately.