Tear of Ice

Chapter 9

By the time the carriage had slowed down, we were arriving at the edge of Lostwick. I kept Lia in my arms the whole time as I slowly calmed down and the ice left my hands, the driver having ended up joining Rio in his seat. Quietly, Lia sat before me as she gently leans against me, her paw on my leg as she didn’t even look my way..

“Friends, we’re coming up to Lostwick. We should walk the rest of the way.”

I lifted my face from Lia’s fur and nod, and slowly the cart came to a stop. Lia leaves my arms hesitantly and I scoot to the edge and hop out of the cart. Adjusting the furred hood over my head as I walked around the cart. I see Rio hop down from the driver’s seat and hand the reins back to him.

“Next time you try to abandon customers, remember the silver you’ll have to pay for the damages.” He taps the banged up front of the cart with a smile that could be properly called ‘s**t-eating’.

The driver glared at him, before pulling back his horses and turning to go off to his next destination. We watched for a moment before Lia looked up.

“Alright, let’s go.”

“Whoa, whoa, you two. First, we need to make a plan.”

I turn back to Rio with a raised eyebrow. “A plan? Why?”

His hands go onto his waist as he taps his foot. “What part of ‘Lostwick doesn’t like Loraines’ did you not get?”

“We don’t have to talk to people anyway. We’re getting in and getting out.” I cross my arms from under the cloak, “What’s so hard about that?”

He sighs. “What’s hard is that even though Lostwick will let us in. Doesn’t mean we will run into no trouble. Hell, businesses might not even serve us.”

Lia scoffs. “Look, Rio. Carmine and I are not planning on staying. We’re heading straight to Kreidd. That’s it!”

“Oh? And do you even know of the ferry bases? Or how to get a ferry to take you across the delta? Or even worse, how to handle the situation that the people might not let you get a ferry.” His arms cross as well, his red eyes staring at us incredulously.

We both looked at each other for a moment, and I went to reply before just silencing myself again.

“You didn’t even know about the VGL, which is basic Guecedand law. I highly doubt you’ll be able to charm your way through Lostwick or even lie about being a Loraine.”

I sigh, “Fine, fine. I get it. So what’s the plan? Any Ideas?”

“Well, it may take a bit of persuasion on my part when we reach the gates. I can try to at least convince the guards that we are not a threat enough. Considering you don’t have any form identification I’m assuming.” He puts a finger on his chin. “Though, Lia may make this harder.”

She growls a bit, “No offense, of course. But you will need to not talk.” She scoffs at that.

After a moment of thinking he looks at me. “I will need you to play demure, Carmine.”

My eyebrow raised. “What are you trying to do?”

“Playing royal. Itro Royal to be exact. And there, most royal wives are trophies so you’ll need to play like one.”

I stared at him in disbelief, “Are you kidding me?”

“Hey, do I look any more charmed by this idea than you? I don’t even date women. But I would like us to get on through without too much hassle. And Lostwick would never dare try to question an Itro Royal who is on a nice trip.” He raised his hands defensively, and in his rambling I couldn’t help but just groan. My fingers pinching my nose bridge, I felt the coolness accumulating in them. I take a deep breath.

“Hey, this is only for getting in. Nothing more. Once we’re in, we eat, we get supplies, get some info for a ferry base, and we get out. Simple.”

“Your plan doesn’t sound so simple.” Lia fires back.

“Hey, if it gets us closer to Kreidd.” -and the tear, I think, but I keep that to myself.

Rio nods and gestures for us to follow him as we made our way to the large metal gate surrounded by stone pillars that extended off into a large wall. This was a town right? It looked more like a fortress, what with the guards posted at each column and in front of the gates. Certain buildings extended to being taller than the grand stone walls they were secure in, and it was just so huge.

“Halt! State your names and purposes!” The guard dressed in silver spoke up. I hug the cloak and hood closer to me and Lia sits beside me as Rio walks up to them. I stayed a distance, unable to hear what they had discussed with Rio, but the guards had peaked over his shoulder and pointed at me incredulously. I blinked but kept my face obscured by the fur on my hood.

Then after a moment, they nod to Rio and amongst each other before calling up the knight posted on the wall and having them run over to the mechanism to lift the gate. With a loud rusty cry, the metal shifts from its place in the ground. Rio gestured us over and he walked in, while Lia and I followed him and the knights whispered amongst themselves.

“Itrora continues to be a strange place.”

Inside the city, I was immediately overwhelmed. It was far, far bigger than the small village of Arboose and even more vast than the Neigless forest. And certainly more alive. Bustling people to and fro with bags and tools galore. Streets made of minerals lined with stones that line the buildings of wood full of what I can only imagine as a warm environment.

Rio came to my side as I stared in awe at everything.

“And this is why we needed a bit of a plan.”

“It’s… huge.” I blurted out.

“Of course, it’s the biggest town in all of the Guecedand.” He looks up and around a little bit, humming to himself.

“So, supplies, what do you need to get?”

Lia looks up, her tail wagging from all of the bustling life around her. It’s the first time I’ve seen her so lively since everything that happened.

“Well, I guess some food to take with us, a way to get a ferry, and directions to the base.”

“Money, too. Money would be helpful to you.” Rio points out and I nod in reply.

“Where do we go first? What shops?” Lia bounces a bit, a smile instantly brought to my face as I watched a bit of her youthfulness return ever so slightly.

Rio smiles, “To the grocery area. Homegrown food brought from all around the Guecedand.” He walks ahead and we follow behind him once more. Even through the hustle and bustle of the crowd, Rio’s darker skin and white hair made him stand out so much that I couldn’t lose him. Plus he kept looking back to make sure we were there.

Lia leans up to me a bit and whispers. “Rio is weird, he’s been helping us so much.”

I nod, “I think so too.”

“What do you think his deal is?”

I look back up at him, finding him still ahead of us before he turns back and waves, gesturing for us to catch up a bit before continuing on.

“No idea. But we owe him.” He ends up turning right as we follow him further into the town.

We came up to a more open area, a large circle of pure green seemingly at the edge beside the large stone wall. There were stands of foods and plants and other tools to aid in farming. People going back and forth and looking at the different foods.

“Here we are! Go around and pick some stuff. My treat.”

“Wait, what?” I whip my head at Rio, “Why would you pay, if I have my own silver?”

“Because I’m making you pay for your own ferry ticket. This is the cheaper option.” He grins as I put my hand out reflexively and hit his shoulder. He feigns being hurt and laughs.

“Just go ahead and pick-Where’s Lia?”

I look to my side and instantly find that the large bundle of white fur that stayed at my side was, in fact-f*****g gone.

“Lia.?” I look up and around rapidly, attempting to spot a wolf amongst a sea of venturing customers. “For Wiesse’s sake, not now!”

I stomp forward and instantly start making my way through the crowd, excusing myself as I look for her. She’s a bright white wolf, she can’t be hard to pick out from the sea of people.

I didn’t realize just how large the food market was, being held outside with just tables and tables of different crops. Of course, people littered and the crowd was enormous. And though Lia was a large wolf, she was still a teenager and she stood at least half a human height on all fours. Seeking her out amongst the rows of children, adults, and other tools was surprisingly much harder than I had anticipated.

I heard the calls of people and the fearful shrieks of children and instantly turned to see Lia standing on her hind legs. Paws on a table as she looked upon the different meats and produce on the table.

“Lia, what are you doing?!” I ran over as fast I could, reaching out and grabbing the white paws that were stamped onto the table. The people gasped around us and as Lia’s snout turned to me to speak I quickly reached up and grabbed her snout. “You’re not supposed to be-”

“Loraine!” The word was shouted violently, and almost instantly my face was splashed with something wet. I stumble back and my hand reaches up to my face immediately, barely catching myself on the table behind me.

The people still continued on their way, shopping and grabbing foods casually, Though now their eyes leered at us, My hands wiping the excess food fruit residue from my face as I sat in silence. Lia comes over to me and nudges my leg and I shake my head and hold up my hand to her. I don’t need her attempting to create another snowstorm in the middle of this town.

I sunk down to sit a bit on the ground and rubbed the place on my head the fruit had hit. Above Icarus’s eye pulsed, as if it was on the verge of bursting out blood. Lia nuzzled my hair, attempting to comfort me, but I could hear her soft growls. Suddenly-

“Loraine, stand. You are causing a public disturbance”

The coarse voice forced my head up and the guard looked into my eyes. Before stepping back in horror as if I was a monster.

“Your face..! You really are one of those things.” he fixes his stance and strides over to us, taking a hand and roughly grabbing my wrist. “You’re coming with me.”

I glare at him, my hands balling into a fist at the all too familiar treatment. “Let me go. I haven’t done anything.” I kept my voice as calm as I could, but his grip didn’t lessen.

Lia growls violently and I can already see the wisps of blue coming around her. I go to stop her, knowing that creating a snowstorm here would only make the situation worse. This was normal any way, looking like this always ended up with problems here.

“Is there a problem?” I felt a hand on my shoulder as I turned to see Rio. He lifts a finger and there his darker red eyes filled with what I can only tell as pure irritation.

“This Loraine is causing a public disturbance with her dog.”

Lia growls even further, and I yank my arm back, finally getting free as I kneel to Lia and rub her fur. Rio steps before us.

“And what did she do? Attempt to calm the animal at her side? And what did that do?”

The guard stumbled a bit, “However, the people of the market are uncomfortable because of their presence and it causes havoc.”

Rio, wordlessly, looked at the table beside us and grabbed a small yellow crop. He turned it over in his hands gently, and the guard continued-

“And who are you to defend them? You with your white hair, are you one of them? Then I will have to escort both of you and your pet-”

BAM!

The guard's face and helmet were covered in yellow; he grunts and stumbles back as the crowd of people all gasp and some even cheer amongst the shocked faces. I just barely stopped myself from laughing.

Rio wipes his hands together with a satisfying clap. “Oh no, now you’re a public disturbance.”

The guard wipes his face and goes to stand properly once more. Just then I reach for the same table and throw another crop to his face. The dink and the grunt that echoed were so euphoric. The guard just barely cleaned his face again before Rio looked at me and gestured for us to go, lifting up a small bag of food he had already got. We made our way through the crowd hurriedly and dipped into the busy streets of Lostwick again.

“So mind telling me what the f**k that was?” Rio starts as I fix my hood over my head.

“Excuse me?” I spit back and Lia turns to him as well.

“When I said that ‘Lostwick doesn’t like Loraines’ did you think I was joking?” He crosses his arms after handing me the small bag of food.

“No, we knew what you meant, bu-” Lia spoke up.

“But then you both decide to cause a scene in the middle of a crowded place?” he raises his eyebrows.

My eye twitched. “It’s not my f*****g fault that the people were so surprised by Lia and I. We didn’t even do anything until food was thrown in my face.”

“I’m not blaming you for the guard. I’m saying that you both really need to work on your ‘incognito’ acting. And storming through the market and jumping up to tables doesn’t help.”

I see Lia look down, softening her demeanor and position a bit as she sighs. Seeing this, I step to Rio aggressively.

“Let’s be honest, Rio. I could’ve stood at the entrance, waiting for you and the guard would have approached me anyway.” I look away and focus on my feet as I kept going, “I come around, people look at me, see how different I am,, and then get rid of me. It’s always been like this.”

For a moment silence was all that echoed around us, Lia’s head nuzzling into my leg.

“I thought you didn’t know anything about the Guecedand.” Rio’s voice was soft.

“I don’t know. Times and reasons change.”

Rio went quiet after that, and I watched as he slowly took the lead to take us as we walked. Lia was also quiet, she nudged my leg every so often and I absentmindedly petted her. All three of us were silent as we kept moving throughout Lostwick. And even though it's bigger than I can even fathom, it was still just like I remembered when I was young.

I need to get the tear and get home as soon as possible.

We ended up at a large building, the largest one in fact, Rio then tapping my shoulder as I look up.

“This is the Abent guild; here you won’t have to worry. The guild is open to all. We’ll get the ferry directions and tickets here.”

I nod to him as he open the door to let us in, and as we step inside we came face to face with a large foyer, with people walking around with luggage and kids. And at the far end sat a desk and a single woman at it, her foot atop of it as she waved to us.

“Welcome to the Abent Guild’s work and rest inn! Need a room or supplies?”

Rio marched forward and we followed after him. “Hey, Marce.”

“Rio? Oh, hey! Thought you were still in Luvell Banks. How ya doin’?” Her feet slid from the desk to the floor, leaning over as she gave Rio a firm handshake.

“Doing well, and I can tell you are as well. But actually, my friends here need something.”

The lady turned to us, her friendly smile still on her face as she waved. I waved back quietly.

“What can I do for ya?”

I step closer and reach back to grab my bag of silver in my pocket. “We need a ticket and info on the ferry bases. We need to get to Kreidd.”

She hums and leans back, sifting through papers among papers. “When do you need a ferry?”

“As soon as possible.” The words left me in a rush as she flinched for a moment and then continued to check.

“Hm. Well, the next free seat is in 8 days. So I can easily-”

“Quicker than that.”My hand unconsciously slammed onto the counter, the lady once again flinching and staring up at me in confusion.

“Ma’am, I can’t really-”

“I need to cross the Creux delta and get back as soon as possible. Please, I need this.” I gripped the counter, my fingers scraping against the table with a small shriek. Wait, scraping?

My eyes fell down to my hand and quickly pulled it away and under my cloak.

“Carmine, you okay?” Rio asks, and I feel a gentle weight on my other side.

“You wouldn’t get it, but I need to get to Illiar as fast as possible.” The lady shifted through more and more papers as she looked over at Rio with worry. I didn’t want to make any more scenes, and I couldn’t explain to them exactly what was going on.

“Alright, sweetie. Listen, I can try and see if I can force one of the ferries to allow you on as soon as maybe...3 days. But you have to get to the base in 3 days, which is not an easy trip. You’ll need horses, a cart, and a driver.”

I look down in thought and think harder. That would cost a lot, and I highly doubt I could afford to do such a thing. I sigh, as I run a hand through my hair and groan.

“Marce. Put me down as their driver.” Rio speaks up.

I look at him once and place a hand on his shoulder with a bit of force.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Marce looks at Rio, and nods. Starting to write on her paper as I look at both of them dumbfounded.

“I’ll need a cart and horses though, your fastest ones.” He leans further onto the counter as he talks.

“How are you paying?” She asks.

He looks at me and gestures to Marce, “Pay her. I said the food was my part.”

I scoff more, “What the hell? You-” I shuffle through my pockets and pull out my bag of silver, offering it. Marce takes it and shuffles through, her eyes glance up to Rio before she puts some coins back in and hands me back the bag.

I lean to Rio and whisper angrily. “What the hell, I thought-” He puts a finger on my nose and pushes me away.

“Are we set, Marce?”

“All set, Rio. Cart will be prepared tonight. Here's a couple of rooms and a keycard. Go ahead and stay here while ya guys prepare to head out.” She hands him two small cards with keys hanging off of them. Quickly, he takes it with a small thanks and walks off to the back, Lia and I scrambling to follow him.

After walking down the hall and up to two flights of stairs and down the hall to a room which he unlocks and walks in as we follow. And then he simply turns to us and gives us the key.

“Alright, see you ton-”

“Um, no. We need to talk.” Lia blurts out.

“Well, um, no. We don’t. We can talk during the travels.”

I crossed my arms, “Why the hell did you suddenly want to help us so badly? I don’t get you.”

His eyebrow rises. “What’s there to get? I’m taking you to the ferry base so you can cross the delta and get to Illiar. What’s the problem?”

Lia stomps forward, “The problem is you’re obviously doing all of this for something. No one just helps this much ‘cause ‘they’re bored’.“

Rio sighs, walking over and closing the door behind us then casually strolls to the dresser. Leaning on it and wiping his eyelids.

“Rio-!”

“You reminded me of my siblings.” He said it so casually that I could barely react in time. He leans back a bit and looks toward us and shrugs. “And let alone, if I have the power to help someone, why the hell will I just sit there and do nothing? You obviously need it.”

We stared at him for a moment, Lia’s ears falling down as she then looked at the floor.

"Besides, like I said, the Guecedand isn't very fond of Loraines."

"You keep saying that. But why? What did Loraines do?"

He sighs and puts a hand on his hip. "You really don't know, huh?"

"I thought we made it clear." My arms crossed as I stared at him. Rio pauses before looking at us seriously.

"A long time ago, a village was destroyed by a Loraine." I gasped and Lia outwardly stepped.

"No way! Why would someone-?"

"You think I know? Of course not. I wasn't there and the village has been removed from all maps. All that anyone knows is that it wasn't far from Neigless."

I blinked at that. A village not far from Neigless, there are only two. Or at least Grandma always told me that. Arboose and Jackal. But-

"When one person had so much power and did so much damage. Of course, it'll bleed negatively on all like them. It's not fair, but it's understandable. And it’s because of that the Abent Guild and the VGL came to be. For people’s safety."

Lia and I look away from Rio, taking in all he said to us. A Loraine from a long time ago, destroying all of a village. And a large village I assume, alone, and One so close to the forest. Grandma never told me about this-

Lia looked at me with a small whimper coming out of her before Rio walked over and patted her head ever so gently. He then pats my shoulder and turns me around.

“Story time's over. Now go rest for a bit, we leave in a few hours and you look like hell.”

Before I knew it I was pushed out of the room and into the hallway, holding my keycard helplessly as Rio escorted Lia beside me. He pointed to the room right beside him and smiled. Before his door shut unceremoniously.

I look down at Lia, who is barely able to meet my eyes. I shrug and head to the room; he was right. We’ll have more room to talk later.

After all, he is my ticket to saving the forest faster.

We entered our room quietly, looking around at the rustic wooden furniture with clothes and blankets and pillows on the bed. Upon the long dresser on the wall sat a large mirror which I stared into. I unclasped my cloak and placed it on the bed as Lia followed me into the bathroom As I set up hot water in the bath, Lia then jumped in and awaited me to join her.

We sat in the bath in silence, my hands weaving the soap through her fur and on my own skin. Gently, she leaned against me as I cleaned my own hair and face off as the ache in my body began to ease away in the quickly darkening water. When we finally left, the bath was stained.

I dried Lia first, shaking the towel over her body and face as she also shook herself off too. While I dried myself Lia ran over to our supply pack I had carried and brought back over a piece of bread. For a moment I stared at it, but eventually took it and bit into it. I could see Lia’s body relax at that. As I sat on the bed, drying myself off and eating the bread, my eyes went back to the mirror on the dresser.

My hair was messy as I had barely tried to fix it while I bathed, and the way it always laid left my original yellow eye hidden under it. Giving me a full look at Icarus' eye. I stand from the bed before walking over to the dresser to lean on it and look even closer at the eye.

Shakily my hand traces the scars that littered my face. The scars that have littered Icarus' face from long ago. Staring into the blue eye showed just how animalistic it was. I only remember how fiercely this very eye used to look at me whenever he was scolding me.

"He's gone."

My head whipped back to Lia. Who's not even facing me still.

"No point in studying the eye now."

“Lia-”

She huffs and her tail falls to the floor quietly.

“I just-”

I look away and back at the mirror before my eyes fall to the wooden dresser under it. My hands clench on the wood.

“You wonder why he bothered saving me?”

I hear her scramble, “No, nothing like that. I just-”

“Just what?” I whip my head at her, meeting her eyes. My voice became rougher as my hand banged on the dresser. “You think that he was wrong for deciding to do this for me? That they were wrong for making me the next Wolf Ringer and Loraine for Wiesse? Because-”

I stop, realizing that I’m practically yelling at her. Lia stumbles back and looks away instantly, her ears drooping. Seeing the pure pain in her eyes as my hands tremble, I look back at the mirror and I shake my head.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t… mention it.” She chimed in as she just jumped onto the bed and curled up once more.

I turn and lean against the dresser, sick of my own reflection. Sliding down to sit on the floor as my hands rake through my red hair, tense and pulling at the roots. I wish this didn’t have to happen. I wish I could’ve done something. I wish I wasn’t such a mess.

Why did Rose leave me like this? Why didn’t she try harder or tell me sooner? I would’ve been readier, stronger, anything.

Why didn't she tell me anything?

Lia’s paw came to my bareback, pushing through damp red tresses. I looked back at her, unsure as her gaze avoided my own. She motions to the bed and I follow.

Laying in white sheets, it was cold. Almost as cold as the snowfall in the forest, but it lacked that warmth. The warmth of the wolf cubs and adults surrounding me to keep me safe. A blanket devoid of their breathing and weird shuffling snores. Only Lia laid beside me, and she was laying down at the foot of the bed. Too far to wrap my arms around, and too far to reconcile.

My body was still damp, and my clothes littered the floor as my thoughts were the same. Of what I said to Lia, of what Grandma would have done, of what Icarus would do. I’ve been yelling and scaring Lia. Doing nothing for her as she constantly picks up my remains and puts me back together. This whole time, the playful loving Lia I knew wasn’t there and was just as distressed as I was. But I was so caught up in my grief I failed to see her and allow her to feel safe to see me. I failed her as her partner; as her family.

Eventually, the pure exhaustion from the constant days came to me. And I knew one thing as I drifted off to sleep-

I needed to give Lia time.