Tear of Ice

I will sacrifice just as she, for my love is greater than I- Bleed and scar upon my flesh Frosted and chilled  Take my heart for it is my strength Take my soul for it is my core And take my tears as an omen for my devotion. I will sacrifice just as she, for my love is greater than I- May her life echo on in the eternal snow May Wiesse be your light. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Running is all I can remember. Dashing past cornfields and meadows. I don’t remember what I was running from, this was all so long ago. But I remember when the scenery changed. Magically, from green to white with an overlay of red. Luscious fields of flowers and crops fading into dead trees and sheets of snow. My thin dress and low boots quickly became far too sheer to protect me from the change. Chills ran up my bones, jittering me from the inside out. And when exhaustion finally hit, the shining snow felt more comfortable than any bed I’ve ever had.  The red glowed off of the environment, bleeding its way from the moon over me. A color I had always felt hatred towards suddenly enveloped me in a way no one else had. And as I laid there, helpless in its hold, I heard sounds, crunching. The snow echoed as something made its way over. My body wouldn’t move, exhaustion and the cold taking over. And when whatever came over did touch me, it was soft.  A small push, for my body to turn onto its side, and when my eyes looked to the perpetrator. I meet sharp blue irises and white fur. A beast, a wolf. Its head tilted, inspecting me, as if seeing if I was alive. Over it’s right eye a myriad of scars, hard for me to have stared at back then. So when my breath left in a puff of mist and it backed away. I was relieved. Its head turned and motioned for another. Before I knew it, I was surrounded. Multiple wolves, of varying sizes, all white coated in the moon's red. I heard their whimpers and occasional small howls, before hearing more crunching. My head leaning up just enough to peak at a vibrant red. More bright than the moon and its light. Crimson fluttering through the crisp air, white fur lining the hood. As a brown boot stops before me, and fabric bunches as they kneel. A hand, textured by the gloves it wore, ran itself through my red tresses. The color of the hair I hated, now enveloping me in its light. Caring for me in ways no one else had. And a gentle voice wafted through the air.  “May Wiesse be your light.” That name that I never knew back then is now a name that I prioritize. A figurehead of my home, of this forest that I found long ago. The wolves that once surrounded me, becoming close, a family. The only true one I’ve ever had, and that figure. That kind figure who patted my head that day and saved me from death. Now, a decade later, lies in her bed slowly watching the days go by as I take her place and protect this home of ours.  “Carmine?” I look back to the door of my room, floor littered with bundles of sleeping white fur. I held a warm bowl, empty of oatmeal in my hands.  The voice is low and gentle, revealing that large scarred wolf from years ago.  “Are you prepared?” He asks me, the voice exiting him without movement. I set down the bowl and pull my gloves over my hands, “Yeah, I’m coming.”  The wolf nods, and leaves my doorway back down the wooden stairs. I step over the sleeping cubs gently and follow him down.  There, I found the older wolves all huddling together, some shaking off snow from themselves. My eyes trace up to find a small bed, where she sat up. A gentle smile forms on her wrinkled face as she gestures for me to come closer. In her lap, that familiar crimson cloth with white fur. I gently make my way over to her sitting on her bed.  “Carmine, my dear, You’ve been doing so well taking up the helm.” Her hand gently shakes as it reaches up to run through my hair once more. I can’t help but smile. “Being the Wolf Ringer is a hard duty, protecting not only the pack but the forest from the tides of the changing world around us. It is an embodiment of Wiesse. I am glad I am able to pass it to you.” Her hand traces down, shaking just a bit too much as she cups my cheeks.  “I will sacrifice just as she. For my love is bigger than I.” I repeated the mantra of Wiesse, the core of her ideals. My smile is wide in Grandma’s palms.  “You will be alone from now on.” her voice, soft. As I reach up and touch the frail hand on my cheek.  “I won’t be alone. I have Icarus and the rest of the pack. Don’t worry Grandma” I said, meeting her eyes with a bravado that I wasn’t even sure I had. She smiles at me, warmer than before. As she gently pulls her hands from my face, reaching down to the crimson bundle of fabric. She held it out to me, without a word and waiting for me to take it. I couldn’t help but hesitate, did I really earn this? This simple cloak that I’ve watched her don for a decade. Surprisingly, it carries a lot of weight in it.  I reach forward and take the cloak, holding it close as I stand from the bed. The scarred wolf, Icarus, looks up at me as he strides forward and leaps onto her bed. Gently curling up and laying beside her. Everyone in the room stares at me, visibly eager.  “Are you not going to wear it?” She asked. “Oh! Yeah!” Quickly I unfurl the folded fabric and reveal it in all its glory. The bright crimson being so vibrant against the dark wood of our home. My eyes can’t help but trail it, even if I’d admired it for years now.  Before I can change my mind I twist it and throw it over my shoulders. Adjusting the golden metal clasps that laid on my chest and kept the hood together. I am apparently shorter than grandma in her prime, Seeing as the cloak nearly touched the floor on me. It was never something I thought about until now. I admired it, and ran my hand along the fabric as a small bark echoed in the quiet room.  “You look lovely, Carmine. Far better than I did all those years ago.” Grandma spoke up as more and more cubs ran up to me to celebrate.  I can’t help but giggle as I kneel down and pet the children, noting how some forced their eyes shut as they tried to will out words. After all, with Wiesse's magic it is possible for them to talk, but it is difficult. I knew what they were all trying to say anyway. While the much older wolves all comment, gently nuzzling me as I barely fought the smile on my face. “You look good.” That low voice echoes out as I look up to meet those same blue eyes with those scars. Icarus leans gently over the edge of the bed. Letting his snout touch my head before leaning back.  “But you must still be cautious. Donning that cloak only makes you more of a threat to any who attempt to hurt our home. The protection of my family- our family-is now upon you.”  My hand stops moving as I feel a tightening in my chest. “I know.” Was all I was able to manage out.  “Icarus.” Grandma speaks up. “Rose,” he turned to her, voice gentler than how he referred to me. “We must take this seriously. Carmine may don the cloak now but her combat skills are still inefficient. The Ice Solstice is coming and without you-” “Icarus.” She stops him, “You’re scaring her. Carmine will do well.” I see the hesitation in his eyes as he slowly looks down. “I just want us all to be safe.”  “And we will be, if you stop scaring her.” I watch the hand as she presses down his snout. Stuffing his nose into a pillow. Seeing his tail wag in defiance as I snort into my hand. “Do not let him scare you. The job is important, yes, but you will be fine.”  “Grandma, I get it. I can handle it.” Rising back up to my feet, and making my way over to the small table not far from her bed. I pick up my hunting knife and it’s holster attaching it to my corset.  I hear a ruffling and a growl as Icarus freed himself from Grandma’s mischievous hold. Before jumping down and joining my side.  "Where's Lia? Isn't she supposed to join me for patrol this morning?" I ask Icarus as he shakes out his fur.  "Sweet thing has overslept. Late night patrol took a lot out of her after scaring away those hunters." Grandma says, a giggle behind her hand.  More wolves followed up after Icarus as I shrug and make my way to the door. Turning to my Grandma and waving gently with a smile. She waves back and before I let doubt take me, I open the door. Instantly the younger wolves fanned out, running into the cold air. Disappearing beyond the black barked trees. I close the door behind me, and lift the crimson hood over my red hair. Letting the soft white fur on it graze my cheek. It was light, far lighter than the coat I usually wore but it somehow kept me warm all the same. Icarus steps down from the porch meeting the white snow so I follow. Stepping into the snow and past the trees down the main path. Unlike that night when Grandma and Icarus first found me, there is no red shining from the moon. I learned that this is how the forest usually looks. No flowers or fields of grass to be seen at any time. Thick sheets of snow with dead blackened trees all around. Occasionally blizzards or flurries depending on the day. This never changes, it looks this way all year round. “It is fastly approaching.” Icarus speaks up as we walk. I glance down to the large wolf, before going back to focusing on our surroundings. I knew what he was talking about. “The Ice Solstice. I know, it’ll only be in a few months.” I look up to the moon, big and white in the surprisingly clear day sky. Nothing like that bleeding red from that night ten years ago..  “You will need to be careful. Our home is vulnerable and easily hurt.” “Icarus, I’ve lived here for over a decade. I know how the Solstice works. It’ll be fine.” I cross my arms as I continue to look through the trees. I hear him growl, knowing I struck a chord with him.  “Carmine, you are inexperienced. You may have aided Rose for all these years but now you cannot rely on her.” “I know that.” I grumbled. “But that doesn’t mean you get to beat it into me that I might fail.” “I never said that.” “You’re heavily implying it.” He growls more at me as he steps forward a bit and turns to me, those blue eyes sharp as daggers as they glared. For a moment, I thought he would speak, yell or just bark at me at least. But instead he turns away, and keeps moving forward. Going silent as I’m left with nothing to do but to follow him. Is he giving me the silent treatment now? Doubting me to such a degree and then ignoring me when I question it? Eventually I found myself not even looking at him. Focusing my attention to our surroundings and the beauty of our snowy home.  “Carmine.” “What?” It came out harsh and quick.  “There is something over there.” I finally turn to him and see his snout point to the east, I kneel and point my finger, following his sightline. There, in between the trees, I see-  Blue? Something small and blue in the distance. Quickly, Icarus and I make our way over to it to inspect. I kneel to it and swipe the remaining snow covering it. It was a ripped cloth. A light blue with golden accent tracing the jagged ends of said cloth. It was ripped violently.  “A cloth?” I questioned. Icarus comes to my side and I hold the cloth up for him to sniff. His eyes narrow when he finishes. “It smells familiar, but I cannot remember it.” He says.   “Familiar? The only cloth scent here you should recognize is from Grandma and I.”  “There is a hint of Rose on it. But it is not her scent. It’s something more- someone else.” He tried to think, turning his head down as he did.  “Either way, we should let the others smell it and have them keep a lookout. If this ended up here-” I look down at the implications, could this cloth simply have blown in from the meadow’s wind?  Icarus nods as I stand. He craned his neck up and let out a howl, loud and echoing. Disturbing the stillness of the forest, snow on a nearby tree gently falling as his howl continued on. And in his call I stare at the cloth.  It feels so familiar, I wonder why? The other wolves who had joined Icarus and I on our patrol found our position quick with his howl. I kneel to them and let them smell the cloth as well.  “I don’t recognize this scent.” One spoke up. “Not at all, Seff?” I questioned..  His furry head shook as he sat on the snow. The others also show that they didn’t know what it was. I look back down to the cloth, clenching it in my gloved fingers.  “We should show Rose, She may recognize it.” Another speaks up. My grip tightened as I shook my head. “No, I...I want to do this myself.”  “Carmine-” Icarus’ voice calls to me from behind. “If you so obviously don’t trust me. Let me, at least, try to show I can do this.”  Everyone went quiet, the others not knowing about the tension Icarus and I suddenly have. I look back at him, as he simply stares at me. Then grumbles a bit and turns away. Standing back up I place the cloth in the pocket of my skirt. “Alright, everyone, go back to your posts. Not a single word of this to Grandma, okay?”  I see them hesitate, but eventually nod, as they scurry off in their individual directions. I turned back to Icarus, who didn’t face me.  "Come on, Icarus." I turn to continue our patrol, leaving him to follow me.   The rest of the patrol around the main path was clear, as we came to the edge of the forest. Sudden sheets of white snow fading into a green field.. By the field alone you can tell its fall, the dying leaves not being far from my vision. If it wasn't for Grandma and Icarus keeping tabs on when the Ice Solstice is, I would get lost in the everlasting winter of our home.  "You're staring." Icarus says, "Do you miss it?" "No." It was an instant response. "I'm happy living here with Grandma and the pack. and You."  My eyes continue to stare at the long stretch of green. “There was never anything out there for me anyway. Or Anyone.” I take a moment to look down at the large scarred wolf, his eyes looking up at me as well. My hand gently touches his fur.  “And that's why I will prove to you that I can keep our home safe. I am not Rose, no. But I am here.” He didn’t reply, blue eyes shifting. Seeing his hesitance, I pull my hand away. I’ll prove it to him, one way or another.  Rising to my feet I turn back to the main path, “Let’s get back home.”