Alphas broken mate

Warm familiar embrace

Beast

It was so warm, maybe to the point of being too hard to bear, but so comforting.

After years of feeling cold, this was so different, and I guess that was what woke me up.

It took a while for my consciousness to fully return, but when I was awake enough to feel out my surroundings, I realized that I was not alone in bed... and that never led to anything good.

I felt a hand tighten around my waist. That was when I realized that whoever was in bed with me, they had me completely cornered and restrained with their arms.

Without wasting a moment, my wolf went into complete fight mode, taking control of my body as my claws drew out and my body readied to fight, ready to leap, fight and protect myself ot any cost. I trusted my wolf because she did it already so many times, not to mention that my mind became quiet as it always did when I was ready to fight.

I guess whoever was in bed with me realized that I was awake, because their hand slowly tightened and drew me into a hard chest behind me, making me feel even more cornered and at a disadvantage.

Memories from my time in the ring folded my mind of how previous situations like this played out. On more than one occasion, I woke up with a man who thought I was an easy target. Before getting my own place, I was placed in shared housing provided by the pack. It was a shared barrack sort of arrangement, a very dangerous place, especially for women who were considered an easy target. There were quite a few that thought that they could take advantage of me while I was asleep.

In their mind I as just a girl, an omega, making me look even worse, so I could not fight them, so even if I woke up, what a girl could do to a strong man like them?

Most of my severe scares are from those nights because they had an advantage over me, sneaking up while I was asleep, but no one survived touching me like that. They were always bigger than me, and they fought back, doing a lot of damage...

So my body came into that mindset. I was not going to let any of them touch me...

A deep growl formed in my chest, not as a threat, but as a promise to whoever made the mistake to underestimate me and try to take what was never for their dirty paws...

"Shh... Erin..."

The low vibration of Daniel's voice sent shivers down my back and I froze.

My instincts short-circuited, as the complete opposite instincts were pulling me at the same time.

"It's okay..."

The low vibration from his voice killed all of the fight in me, pulling a wall like structure around me, from the rest of the world as well as my self and my own instincts. Slowly putting the killer instincts to rest, and by that I mean taking control from my wolf and giving it back to me.

The hand on my stomach slowly massaged my in small gentle circles, drawing my attention to the points where his skin was touching mine. His fingertips were tracing my naked skin, stopping over the scars left by one of the fiercer fights I had. The man that came after me was a brother or some other relative that wanted to avenge his loved one that died in the arena. He found in m favorite bar at the time and left it in a body bag.

That night, I was banned from most of the bars there. Not that I blamed them, there was no saving anything in that place, it was completely trashed, covered in blood and body parts.

I have to give it to him. He was the closest anyone has ever gotten to killing me.

Sure he snuck up on me and didn't waste a moment, but he chose the wrong spot to strike. If he chose something a bit more lethal than my stomach, then I would not be here right now, and he would probably still be alive, but he made the wrong decision had caused him his life... that is why I like staying with that pack, everything was so simple there...

Behind me, Daniel froze for a second as his fingers traced the full scar. In return, I stopped breathing as well for a moment, waiting for his reaction... not sure if I was afraid that he would react and question it... if he was going to be disgusted by it... or worse... that he would feel pity for me.

For a moment it felt like he was going to say something, but no words left his mouth. And he just continued to trace my skin like nothing had happened. Continuing to move at a calm pace that soothed the wild beast inside of me.

"It's okay..."

He whispered the same words he used to use when he was calming me as a kid after one of the endless amounts of nightmares I had after that freaking night.

Back then, he would come into my room after I woke up screaming for my parents, and he would spend the rest of the night just holding me... wiping away the tears from my cheek.

And just like back then, it worked.

My wolf settled down and retracted our claws.

"It's okay, Erin... you are safe. I won't let anyone hurt you."

Just like back then, I believed him.

At this exact moment, I knew that no one else could hurt me, that he would do everything to protect me no matter the cost and that was part of the reason why I left.

Because my biggest threat was not someone else but me.

There was no beast that I feared or some outside threat that kept me up at night other then myself.

No... it was my own mind that scared me the most.

It was my memories that were hurting me, that killed my soul bit by bit, until there was nothing else left inside of me but the beast. That was why I left.

Because I couldn't let him suffer with me.

I refused to drag him down into the darkness with me.

He wanted to fight the beast that was hurting me, but I could never let him fight me... I could not do that to him.

On the day of our mating ceremony, I saw the damage that I had already done to him when I still had hope that I could have a future with him. But then I saw the future if I stayed here, and I couldn't let my darkness taint him anymore.

Daniel is a true night in shining armor that would have slayed any dragon or beast for me, to make me happy, to make me feel safe. But there was no dragon for him to fight.

Sure you could say that I am a princess trapped in a tower, but it's a tower of my own making... it is made by my own fear and pain. Each brick is made from a painful memory, loss and nightmare.

I was beyond healing back then, and now I am so far off the path that there is no amount of work or effort that could return me to it.

"It's okay, Erin..."

I really wanted to believe it, I wanted to believe him like I did when we were teenagers.

That he could fight off my demons by just holding me close.

My fingers traveled to his, intertwining with them on my stomach just as I used to do when we were young, letting myself pretend that what he was saying was true and that he could fight off my demons.

A slow tear ran down my cheek as I realized that it was partly true.

Right now my demons are at bay, he is fighting them off by just holding me, but it only makes the moment they return that much worse.

Because I know that it can be better and that there is a reality where I do not only live in pain. That I can feel peace and calmness in my soul.

That was the other part of the reason why I left.

It was just easier to live at the same level of pain and in time I just became numb to it, just like everything else.