Alphas broken mate

So fragile yet so strong... and stuborn

Daniel

Chasing Erin has become the new usual.

When I first thought about bringing her home, I never expected this.

Sure she was skittish with others, but never me. The look of a terrified animal in her face was not something I expected or could forget. Yes.... she is more animal than human right now, and it explained her reactions... and general actions.

As I made the decision to bring her back, I had considered many options and outcomes. As the pack alpha I did not have any other choice. I did not have the luxury of making mistakes like that. The pack relied on me and I had to be stable and strong, especially now when everything is at the tipping point... when everything I worked so hard for... everything I sacrificed for this could just disappear.

But never in my theories did I expect something like this to happen.

She was on a completely different level of f**k up to what I expected.

The way she was acting and reacting, made me doubt that it was going to work... that she was too far gone... that she was lost to me and there was nothing I could do about it... but then this happened... then I wrapped my arms around her and her body went lifeless in an instant. She reacted just the same as she always did and it gave me hope that not everything as lost... that she was still there, somewhere deep inside.

Closest to losing all hope, I was the moment that little sound left her mouth. It was not human whatsoever, and it made my whole body go into a complete shutdown. She sounded like a wounded animal crying out in pain and my body reacted to it. It reacted to the paid my mate was experiencing. At the same time two sides of me went into complete control over me. One side wanted to fight to, protect her from what and whoever was making her feel this way. Also, another part of me wanted to comfort her, to gather her in my arms and never let go.

Before either side could win, she was already gone from the bedroom.

It took me a moment to shake off the shock as I went after her. For that moment, I let my wolf lead the way... if I was right and it was her wolf running the show, then my own wolf was the answer. He was going to track her down and I was right to let him take the lead, because not a few moments later we were right behind her, but it did not look like she was going to stop any time soon... and I could not let that happen... I could not let anyone see her... not yet...

So I shouted her her name while using alpha command forcing her to stop.

It work.

She froze for a second and that was all it took to get to her. My arms instantly wrapped around her, putting us into the familiar pose of me holding her until her panic would settle... I could not count how many times I had done this...

Now with her lifeless body in my arms, I could not ignore that for the first time since I saw her again she looked like herself... the same sweet, hurt little girl I grew up with.

When I saw her in that ring it took me a moment to comprehend that it was her... that she was real, because she looked nothing like herself, but the new person she became. The famous Beast fighter that has taken hundreds of lives of all types of unlucky souls.

She didn't look like the girl I grew up with... the girl I fell in love with, and it hurt to see her change so much.

Gone were the soft waves of waist-long brown hair, now it was cut shoulder-length and covered in dried blood.

The soft rounded cheeks that always shined with bright pickiness now looked sharp and hollowed out. She no longer had the generous curves that kept me at night on more than one occasion. Now she was all skin and bones, under which there were steel macules that turned her body into a killing machine. Her soft skin was now covered in scars, cuts and bite marks.

Don't get me wrong, she still looked beautiful... but different.

She no longer looked like I was used to seeing every day, now she looked dangerous and deadly... and I guess she was.

She has proven on multiple occasions that she can kill everyone and anyone, without remorse or caring who the person she killed was, or why they ended up in that dammed arena.

To her, they were just the next target, prey for her wolf.

However, what changed the most was her eyes. Before the s**t with her family went down she always smiled, her eyes shined with bright sprinkled like the freaking galaxy drawing me.

After the tragedy where she lost everyone, her eyes changed, they shined less, but there were still little glimmers of hope and happiness in them. Sure there were moments when her eyes would get clouded, the dark moments when all I could do was hold her, but they would pass and her eyes would be smiling again.

But now...

Now her eyes looked empty, completely empty.

There were no glimmers of hope in them.

Only sadness and pain.

I cannot deny it that I knew she would be in a bad place, but I hoped that she could recover to the same level... I needed her to recover, but now, after seeing her, I kinda doubted it.

Gently, I gathered her in my arms and carried her home. I was another painfully familiar thing to do, but at the same time it was so different. She looked helpless in my arms, so fragile that she might break if I touched her without the most gentle touch. There was always this fragile side to her that no one other than me ever saw, especially after her family was taken from her. She had this hard shell she showed the world, and I was the only exception... up until everything changed, she pushed me away.

Slowly, I walked home. To my luck, no one spotted us as I carried her back into the house. With relief, I carried her room and laid her down on the bed.

I knew that I had to make decisions as to how I should handle all this... how to make all of this work, but it was so difficult to think about anything other then the simple fact that she was finally back home, in her bed where she belonged.

My body and world screamed at me to join her in bed, but as my eyes turned to the mess on the floor I saw blood and I realized that she had sliced her feet and I had to tend to them first... and after that, if she is still asleep, I will join her.

With an exhausted sight, I grabbed the first aid box from the bathroom and started working on her feelings. It took me a while until I cleaned the cuts properly and to my surprise she did not wake up through it all. Once I was done, I could no longer deny the need to crawl in next to her and just feed the need to hold her. A need that I had been denied for years by her and my own pride... a need that I was sure that there was no way I could fulfill... but here she was back now and for at least a moment I wanted to let myself believe that it all would be good once again... that things will be just as they were before...