Alphas broken mate

Protective instincts make you do crazy things

Beast

The warm bubble of dreamy warmth was disbursed by Daniele's gentle whispers. Everything in me screamed to not wake up, and I had no wish to do so either. Right now, I felt so good and floaty, there was not even a glimmer of any sort of worry or bad emotions in sight... just warmth and bliss that was radiating from Daniele's body.

So, instead of waking up, I smuggled in closer into his body, burying my face in his chest and ignoring the gentle encouragement he was giving me. My action made him chuckle a bit as his hands pulled me in a bit tighter.

"Erin... baby... come on..."

His gentle words tickled my ear as he buried his face in my neck, clearly not ready either to get up. We stay buried like that for a few more minutes, just basking in the warmth and comfort of each other's bodies.

There was a voice at the back of my head that told me that I should pull away. It told me that I was going to hurt him once I left again... that if we stayed this close some of my darkness would taint him somehow if we stayed this close for longer, but I could not bring myself to release him, so I stayed in place. Wrapped in his warm embrace, I did my best to ignore everything and anything that might disturb the peace and tranquility of that moment.

But moments like this never last.

No matter how much I wanted to ignore the outside world and my own instincts, there was no ignoring the loud knocking at the front door as well as the irritatingly loud vibration of Daniel's phone.

My instincts told me to get ready to fight, to protect Daniel from whoever was out there. It felt like a switch was flipped in my body as a low growl escaped my chest. With my back going completely straight and all my muscles tightened.

Without even noticing it, I gripped on tighter onto Daniel and my claws sank into his arms, breaking the skin. The only reason I realized that was because the metallic scent of his blood filled the room.

"Erin, it's okay..."

He whispered and the reality that I had just hurt him clicked.

I hurt him... again...

Guilt, shame and pain filled my chest, making me jump back from him. My body moved away from his so fast that Daniel did not have a moment to react, and my body hit the wall with enough intensity to fill the room with a loud crashing sound. Some of it was me knocking over a few things, but mostly it was my body hitting the wall.

The impact of hitting the wall like this was strong, but I did not feel it.

All I felt was shame... so much shame and guilt for hurting him.

To make this worse, a few moments later, Daniel was right next to me with a worried look on his face.

"Baby, are you okay?"

His words of concern for some reason made me feel even worse. All I wanted to do was run and hide.

And I almost did that, but his hands wrapped around me, keeping me in place. It took me a moment to understand that he was trying to determine whether I was hurt or not, because no words left my mouth to answer his questions.

The whole time he was checking over me, he was talking to me, but I heard nothing.

My mind was moving to fast as it kept on pining around the fact that I hurt him... I physically hurt him...

This realization made me feel sick in my stomach.

That feeling of sickness only rode and rose until I could no longer hold it.

I felt the wave of nausea start rising to the point of toppling over and I bolted from my place pushing myself of the ground, ripping myself out of Daniels arms and in a few seconds I was in the bathroom leaning over the toilet, spilling the almost nonexistent content of my stomach.

The gentle hand on my back made tears start rolling down my cheeks.

Full body sobs rolled out of my chest as I was leaning over the toilet.

Once the nausea finally stopped, Daniel gently pulled my back from the ground and carried me to the sink, sitting me down on the counter next to the sink. At some point, probably when he noticed that I was not responding to his words, he stopped talking. So now, in complete silence other than my uneven breathing, he wet a washcloth and gently wiped my face. The whole time, I kept my eyes closed, not able to bring myself to look at him. I was so consumed with the feeling of guilt that I did not fight him or even notice when he brought a glass of water to my lips.

He, more or less, forced water into my mouth. Then gently he turned me to the sink and following his lead I spat out the water he brought to my mouth, ricing away the bitter taste from my mouth... but I did not feel worthy of not suffering from the disgusting taste in my mouth.

The next time he lifted the glass to my lips he did not turn me to the sink, but instead made me swallow down a few sips. A part of me wanted to fight this gentle treatment, but I could not bring myself to refuse him anything. I hurt him... again... once again I caused him pain...

A new wave of nausea and even stronger tears rolled down my cheeks as the guilt and thought of hurting consumed me completely.

In a way I could feel his hands on my cheeks, swiping away the tears, but it was only making me feel that much worse.

I'm not sure how much time has passed or how I we were no longer in the bathroom, but instead on one of the chairs in the bedroom.

It took me a few moments to understand that I was siting in Daniel's lap with his hands gently stroking my back as he whispered soft words of reassurance.

"Everything is okay... you are safe... no one is going to hurt you..."

Once I realized that he thought that all this was from shock or fear that someone was going attack me... he thought that this was a self-defense reaction...

This thought made me laugh in almost a manic way.

"Erin?"

His voice changed as I kept laughing and I realize how it must look from the outside for him. I am sure he was thinking that I had gone completely crazy, which was not very far from the truth, because I was partly sure that I was going crazy indeed.

"Erin, are you okay?"

He asked, sounding even more concerned and I just shook my head. It took me a few moments to calm down enough to open my eyes and meet his. The first moment I met the concerned look in his eyes, it made me feel quite guilty because I was making him worried on top of everything else. So I rushed to reassure him instead, while shaking my head.

"I was not worried that someone was going to hurt me, I would not react like that to a treat to me. Goddess knows I do not care enough about myself..."

Confusion filled his face and I started to explain after taking one more breath.

"My instinct was to protect you. For a moment, all I could think about was protecting you, which is hilarious, because the only thing that has been hurting you at the moment was me... I was the one that hurt you..."

My eyes slowly traveled to the claw marks I left on his upper arms.