Alphas broken mate

It makes it all just that much more complicated

Daniel

Waking up with Erin pressed into my chest felt like a dream.

This was one of the things I missed the most, after years of having her so close to me, it felt so strange to have this privilege back all of a sudden. In the last year of our relationship, when we no longer had to sneak around, it was pure bliss to have her in my arms whenever I wanted to, but then she was gone and this privilege was gone, making my nights unbearably lonely.

I had spent so many nights after she left, longing to feel her close to me once more. By now I have lost count of how many nights I woke up reaching out for her, only to find cold and empty nothingness on the other side of the bed. My hand always grabbed out to an empty bed. Those moments were the worst. It is impossible to describe how it feels to dream about your mate, to have her close for years and then lose her completely. My nights were filled with dreams of her. They always felt so real that I would feel her presence right next to me, only to walk up a moment later to an empty, cold bed.

Some nights it was too much, and I would break down, while my wolf went crazy with longing in me.

It was the worst at the very beginning. Most of my nights looked like that. Going crazy between longing for her and my own dreams made it worse by giving me a taste of something I could never have. I almost went completely crazy from sleep deprivation, snapping at everyone and anyone. There were so many times that I saw my father fuming with anger, but he could not do anything about it and what made it worse was that I was no longer his son, but his alpha.

The crazyness of living after Erin left, never really went away, even after years it was still bad, but over time I managed to hide it better, as well as everyone got used to the new me, I guess. I used to be a lot nicer and more understanding with everyone, but that was no longer the case. After Erin left, she took a chunk of my soul, and I was never the same. I no longer had endless amounts of patience towards everyone's stupidity or pointless arguments. There was also an edge of ruthlessness and bitterness that I had yet to acknowledge fully, but it was there. Hell bringing her here was a true representation of that.

Before my mind could fully spiral into picking apart the reasons as to why and how she had ended up here, I concentrated on her instead. Pressing my face into her neck while letting her scent sooth all the sharp emotions that were brewing under the surface, leaving only Erin and her lovely scent... her soft, warm body that fit so perfectly nice next to mine.

And her presence alone worked like the best, most soothing balm ever.

Everything went away and the only thing that mattered was her and that she was finally back, next to me.

I never thought poetically or anything like that, but right now I wanted for time to stop, so that I could stay at this moment forever. My mind kept returning to her words from yesterday and sure it sucks that she thinks like that... that she hates herself so much, but the idea of her loving and caring so much about me... it made me feel this lightness that I could not compare it to anything else.

Feeling completely happy for the first time in a while, I enjoyed the moment, but my joy was short-lived. A few moments later, I felt my phone vibrate and I really wanted to rip off the head of who ever dared to disturb me right now.

After a few moments of my phone vibrating from an incoming call that I was ignoring, it stopped, and then I saw a message appear. It was my beta. He was the one calling me, and now he was the one messaging me as well.

More than anything, I wanted to snap at him, to tell him off, but I knew better.

He was just doing his job.

That was what I kept repeating to myself as I stared at the screen over Erin's shoulder. A good thing was that she had her face buried into my neck and would not get disturbed by the blinding light of the phone screen.

Sir, he has been spotted again.

The person tailing him says that he was talking to some of the workers at the bar.

Shit.

I released a deep sigh and gripped my phone with frustration, while trying my best not to crack it like I had done a few times before.

That man has been sneaking around for months now, and I know what his end goal is, but I have no idea how he is planning to achieve it. My father made sure that I knew what sort of threat he was and that he would reappear at one point or another. It was only a question of time. At his dying breath, he made me swear that I would not let that man take the pack and I plan on doing everything in my power to do that...

Even if it meant hurting her.

My fingers gently massaged the back of her head as I typed out an answer to him.

Keep me posted on his next move.

I shot back a text as I tried to figure out what would be the best next step when I felt my phone vibrate witht he next incoming text.

Will do sir.

But we should do something first. Be the first to make a move.

Do you still want to go through with the plan? How is Luna?

Seeing the words plan made me feel sick in my stomach and I had to look away from her, because it made me that much more guilty and sick in my stomach. Seeing those words while I tried to avoid thinking about the original plan, only made me feel like I was trying to avoid the truth of what I was planing to do and what I had to do. Thinking about it only made me feel that much more guilty. I already had a lot of guilt as it is.

We will not rush the original plan.

Luna is some what good, but I will make sure she is ready on time.

There is no need to rush, and I am sure he is doing this to make us nervous, so that we would rush and mess up.

As I said, we are sticking to the original timetable and plan.

See you at dinner tonight.

Only reach out if it's life or death.

Reading what I wrote made me feel a bit like a d**k, but I was desperate right now, and I needed to set clear boundaries. I had to make sure that we stuck to the plan, because if we did mess up, the consequences would be dire.

A feeling of utter and complete exhaustion rushed over me as I sank deeper into Erin's body.

No matter how much I wanted to stay right here in this bed, in our little bubble, there was a lot that we had to do before tonight dinner.

Today was going to be the day when the whole pack saw Erin back for the first time after years of her being away.

The official reason why she was not with the pack was that she had gone to search for her parents' killer, but I am sure that a lot of people could guess the real reason... or at least the real fact that she had never planned to return to the pack.

Fighting all my urges, I pulled back a bit and stared at her peaceful sleeping face for a few moments. Drinking in the beauty of her peaceful sleeping face. After a few moments, I leaned in and kissed her forehead, before starting to wake her up.

"Erin... baby, it's time to wake up."

I whispered those words right into her ear as I felt her stir a little bit.

"Come on baby, we have a lot to do today..."

Let's stay on the original