Alphas broken mate

Never sneak upon the beast

Beast

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DO..."

The man did not get to finish.

My instincts kicked in before I could even register that it had happened. My wolf's side was so close to the surface that I had him on his back with my claws digging into his throat before I could ever realize that I had done it.

At that moment, everything went quiet and the little voice at the back of my head told me that we were one squeeze away from killing this man... and it would be so easy...

Just one squeeze and the life in his eyes would be gone. Adrenaline rushing through my veins made everything else go quiet. There was no more pressure... no more annoying thoughts or the heavy feeling in my chest... Just one thought in my mind at that moment.

With just one tiny squeeze, I could already feel little droplets of blood running down my fingers as complete fear and terror filled his eyes. The fear in his eyes was like a drug to my wolf... without even realizing it, he was feeding the beast in me, almost encouraging it to take another step and do what it really wanted to do.

I was just a moment away from killing him.

One little squeeze and he would...

"ERIN."

That name... my wolf was not used to hearing it. The sound of it coming from Danielle's lips felt like ice-cold water being poured over us. It awakened me and made me realize what I had just done. In that second of clarity, I realized that I knew the man under me. He was a few years younger than us in school...

Before I could do anything, the voice was followed by a heavy body colliding into mine, knocking me to the ground. I did not fight the man on top of me as I was now being sucked in by the storm of thoughts that I almost killed one of the pack members... I almost killed Tim... the little boy that... that shared his candy with me...

No air was moving in my lungs as the thought that I almost killed little Tim kept replaying in my mind. Everything around me was moving, but I could not do anything about it... I could not react... I could not apologize... all I could do was lie there under Daniele breathing unevenly at the point of dry heaving...

"You okay?"

Daniele asked, and it took me a moment to realize that he was talking all.

"I... I'm fine sir."

"Good, go to the healers, but do me a favor and do not tell anyone that it was Erin who did it... tell them that you were attacked by a rogue..."

"Of... Of course sir... but are... are you sure that you do not need help?"

"I will be fine, now please go."

My best guess is that Tim nodded because a moment later I heard his steps moving away from us. Danielle was still on top of me, and I was thankful because a part of me wanted to go after Tim and finish the job.

I was so sickened by the thought... no, I was sickened with myself over all.

How can a thought like this even span in my mind?

About a member of my pack...

Tears of frustration and disgust started pouring down my face and I felt Danielle relax. A second later I was no longer on the ground under him, but in his lap instead.

The sound of a wounded animal cry filled the quiet space around us and I could not understain where it was coming from... did I hurt a helpless animal as well?

"Shhh... It's going to be okay..."

Danielle whispered, and I was confused as to why he was saying that as he rocked me back and forward while gently stroking my back.

It took me a few moments to realize that the ugly crying sounds were coming from me.

"It's okay... everything will be okay..."

He kept repeating that as he rocked both of us now and all I wanted to do now was disagree with him. To scream that nothing would be okay. Nothing will ever be okay. We are too deep in this s**t for it to ever be okay... I'm too far gone...

"NO... do not say that!"

The sharp tone of his voice made me freeze for a second and I realized that I had said it out loud.

"You are not too far gone and do not dare say that it's too late. It is never too late, not when we are both still alive."

I could not find my voice to disagree, so I just shook my head while pressing my face into his chest. Guilt was eating away at me. I had no right to seek comfort from him. I almost... I was just a moment away from killing Tim.

A wave of nausea rolled in my stomach as I ripped myself from his chest and rolled to the side as I started throwing up violently the little food I had consumed in the last twenty-four hours. My whole body shook as I emptied the contents of my stomach with such intensity and violence. A genteel hand was stroking my back as Daniele gathered my hair.

"I'm so sorry..."

He kept whispering the same three words over and over again. I know he was trying to comfort me, but all I wanted to do was scream for him to stop. Why was he apologizing when I was the one that did it? I was the one that almost killed a member of my pack... a member of a pack that I swore to protect with my life... that I promised my parents to protect.

The vomiting finally stopped, but a new wave of sobs rolled through my body.

When it was clear that I was no longer throwing up, Danielle gathered me into his lap again, pressing my face into his chest as he continued to gently caress my back. His touch was so comforting, so calming, but at the same time it felt so wrong to let him comfort me like that.

I did not deserve to be comforted.

I did not deserve his gentle touch.

I did not deserve to be alive.

An even stronger wave of tears rolled through my body as he started to repeat the same apology and I could no longer take it.

"St...stop... please stop."

For a second he froze when he heard my broken husky voice.

"Erin..."

Before he even said it, I knew what he was going to say, so I stopped him.

"Please stop... you... it... I was... why are you apologizing? I was the one that... that..."

I could not force those words out of my mouth, they kept getting stuck in my throat as another wave of sobs was threatening to hit me.

"Erin..."

He whispered my name as he gently pulled my face up to look at him and waited until I opened my eyes and met his.

"Because it was my fault that you ended up here... that you almost did that. I knew the risks. I knew that you were not yet ready to go into public, but I still dragged you there."

I wanted to disagree, but before I could force any words out, he continued.

"And when we were there I should have noticed that you were getting overwhelmed. Hell, it was a horrible idea to put in front of the whole pack right now... we should have done small meetings at first... small groups..."

I could hear his voice shake a bit, but he continued.

"I'm so sorry, Erin... I swear I will do better..."

He said as he laid genteel kisses on my forehead.

"I promise I will do better and this will not repeat itself."

At this point, I was no longer sure if these words were meant for me or if he was trying to convince himself.