Journey through Journals The Closet

Dear Diary, Here is where most would feel afraid, sitting in a pitch black closet for what could be hours. I have a flash light, a book, this journal, snacks, a couple of sandwiches, and water. Here I feel safe. Out there, not so much. Free will or not is the question. Did I choose this life or did it choose me? Hearing the rocking chair rock out in my room brings me back from writing. Reminding me I am never alone. As I carefully place my journal and flash light onto the blanket bunched in the corner. I whisper. I can't hear you but, I feel you. I can't see you but I smell you. I don’t know you, but I think I do. The rocking chair stops as the back door opens and shuts. Reading the footsteps, I know it's my mother. As her steps get closer, I know she's headed this way. My bladder isn’t going to make it, I think, as she opens the closet door, GO NOW. I push up from sitting crossed-legged, getting my foot tangled in the blanket as the top part of me continues out the closet. Taking off at a sprint up the hall, cutting to the left, door closed and on the toilet seat right in time. No idea how long I have. All I’m focused on is the task at hand. Opening the door slowly, listening for movements, I saw my mother standing in the middle of the living room looking toward the back-door through the kitchen. She is surrounded by smoke and showered by a stream of light coming into the living room window. She waves me on to my room, never taking her eyes off the back-door. Running up the hall, I stepped a little to the left and my foot landed right on the furnace grate and grabbing my big toe, stopping me dead in my tracks. Biting my lip to keep from screaming as I heard the back-door open, followed by his voice. Softly, I walked and closed myself back into my closet. Slowly sitting back cross-legged, I flick on the flashlight as I re-situate my fort. The sound of the TV coming up the hall, smells of cigarette smoke filling the house. I eagerly get back to writing. I’m not even supposed to be here. I’m supposed to be at school, but I got suspended yesterday for fighting and now I’m confined to this closet. I cant go to prom now either. I mean it could be worse. I could be suspended the rest of the year instead of three days. There's a new boy in my class. He moved from Pennsylvania. He doesn't look like any of the boys here. The only thing I've ever heard about that place is that it's where the vampires live. Is he a vampire? I mean he could be. Dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin and wearing dark clothes. hmm... That is all for now. Love Alice. Closing the journal, putting it to the side. I dropped my flashlight, reaching for my cup. Taking a big gulp of my water and placing it back in the corner. Staring down at that cup of water as I leaned back into the opposite corner. Needing to learn to accept what I can do and the ability to control it, Alice. I whisper. The cup starts to vibrate, making the water tremble inside. As it knocked the base board I had my hand ready to stop the fall. I may never be able to share my powers with anyone. I realized this a couple of years ago when I shared my dream of the space shuttle blowing up in my back yard only to wake up and tell my mom about it for her to tell me it was just a dream. I believed her until I was sitting in class and my teacher interrupted class by rolling in the TV cutting on the news to a space shuttle blowing up in the sky. The same one I had dreamed about the night before. Raising my hand, I say I dreamed about this last night and my teacher is looking at me. Her mouth dropped open. She says, don’t be silly Alice, you only think you dreamed it. Dismissed, I think, surely my mom will believe me now. Later that day, upon returning home from school, I say, hey mom, as soon as I walk in the door, about that space shuttle. Standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, she cuts me off with, I don’t know how you did that, how you could have known that, but I need you not to talk about it with no one. Your teacher called me, along with your principal. You will end up in a mental hospital if you go around telling people about your dreams that have come true. Those things are only in the bible, not here. Closing the bedroom door behind me, I escaped inside. I need a breather. I have no idea what I am doing, thinking I could possibly be a spirit guide. The meeting about my person starts in 15 minutes and I am not prepared. Its crazy to me that my time with her has almost come to its end. Yet the contract she is on is nowhere near done. Flipping the bathroom light on, I quickly walked straight for the sink. Turning the knob, water rushing from the faucet, splashing the cold water onto my face, I heard a knock on the door. Maddie, my sister, calls out, Its time. Today is the day I will be passing guidance onto not only my sister but my dear friend. I trust that she will guide you and communicate with you in ways that exceed what I could do. As I take my seat in the background, I will be seeing you at the end of the string. I whispered into her sleeping ear. Startled awake by Mom opening the closet door. I dropped the journal and light. It took me a minute to realize who she was and where I was. The dream was so real. It felt like I was really there. Some kind of ceremony for me. Weird. Hes gone? I say, standing up quickly because I have to pee again. Yes, he's gone, she barely gets out before I have zoomed by her trying to get to the potty, ringing the seat with my half naked booty. Slid those the rest of the way down and… relief He’s gone to work for the night, so the coast is clear. Yahhh, I said as I came bouncing from the bathroom. Don’t get too excited. You still have to stay in the house and not answer the door or phone. I have to go out for a few hours. Do you still have your sandwiches? She asks as she gathers her purse and cigarette case from the counter. I nodded, yes ma’am and she was out the door.