The HIV Bride

Veronica's POV: I picked up the drug bottle on his table and read the label: “T-e-n-o-f-o-v-i-r A-l-a-f-e-n-a-m-i-d-e” “I know this drug. It is… it is…” I said as I tilted my head to the side with my eyes closed but focused. Then it dawned on me what drug this was. “Jesus!” I silently exclaimed as my heart fell from my chest and dropped to the floor with a heavy thud, spilling blood everywhere. I was still battling with the harsh reality staring me in the face, still gripping the drug tightly and looking at it intently when he emerged from the kitchen. In his right hand was a plate of fried eggs, confirming the smell that filled my nostrils the moment I got into his apartment. In his left hand, he was holding two more bottles, which I suspected were drugs too. When he saw me, he smiled warmly, but didn't act shocked, as, of course, it was a normal thing for me to show up in his apartment even without him knowing because I also had the keys to the apartment. He gave them to me. His countenance only changed when he saw what I was holding in my hands. Then, for the first time that Tuesday morning, I saw panic flash in his eyes and terror take over. “Veronicaaa,” he managed to say to me, his eyes terrified. Acting on my first instincts, I walked up to him, my eyes sharp with fear and anger, and snatched the two bottles he was now hiding behind him. I read their labels. “B-i-c-t-e-g-r-a-v-i-r. E-m-t-r-i-c-i-t-a-b-i-n-e” This time around, as I read the container labels, reality kept hitting harder and harder, and hot tears gathered from all corners of my inner cheeks and settled in my eyes, ready to burst open anytime. “Lucas, you are HIV positive!” I said shattering our world. Lucas and I started dating five months ago, October 2011. “Answer me you bastard! You have HIV. You are HIV positive?” I said in a frustrated whisper. “Yes. Yes Vee. I am. I'm sorry.” “f**k you bastard! You?! For how long? When were you diagnosed? When?!” “Three months ago.” I chuckled as I remembered that Lucas and I last had raw s*x two days ago. “So, all this while, you have been f*****g me. Having s*x with me. Without protection? Without letting me know what you were diagnosed with? You never once felt bothered about the danger you were exposing me to.” “I wanted to tell you. But I couldn't. I was scared. I was terrified of how you would handle it. I was worried that our relationship would end, and I didn't want this beautiful thing between us to end.” “What f*****g beautiful thing?! You selfish bastard!” I screamed at him while simultaneously delivering a hot slap across his face. “Lucas, you do know, right? You know that HIV isn't curable. There is no cure. You know that you are doomed to die sooner or later, right?” He said nothing, his face guilty as hell. “Answer me!” I barked. He nodded. So you hate me this much? You know you are going to die and thought to yourself, 'Oh, why don't I take my girlfriend along with me?” “Lucas, you are a selfish devil! Very selfish. If you truly love me, you could have protected me. But no! Let her die with me, too. Right?” “Vee when I was diagnosed, I broke down. It was too much for me to handle. That's why I had to go away for a few days to gather myself back. You remember when three months ago, I suddenly travelled to Dundee, under the pretext of going to see my sick aunt, I was actually going there to cool off. To understand what I should do next.” “I told myself that once I come back, I will tell you. We will break up. Handle this situation the right way I should handle it for your own benefit and for my own benefit too.” “I tried countless times to tell you. To save you. To protect you. To do the right thing. But I just couldn't. I was too scared. Worried. Uncertain. I even once dropped my test result on the bed hoping you will see it when you woke up and go through it, but you never did. Believe me, I wanted to tell you so badly…” “But you never did,” I responded, cutting him short. “Ok Lucas, let's say you were terrified of me finding out and didn't want anybody else to know of your status. Then what had happened to asking for a breakup, space? Just so that you can protect me from harm?” “Lucas, we have been living like a completely normal couple. Having s*x, sometimes with no protection. No caution. Nothing! And you say you love me? Boy, you are a devil!’ “Do you know why I came to see you this morning? Because I wanted you to accompany me to the hospital to get checked. You are aware of all the weird symptoms I have been experiencing recently. How my health has been funny. Symptoms, which terrifyingly match those of an HIV positive person.” “I'm sorry.” “You say you love me, but here you are? Already taking ARVs to manage the disease while you keep f*****g me and filling me up with it. Devil's incarnate.” “Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus!!” I called worriedly holding my chest and grasping a chair, because I was losing my balance. I eventually gave up trying to hold myself intact and collapsed to the floor, with my elbow landing badly on the tiled floor. Memories of how my health had been rapidly changing, or actually, deteriorating, in the past few weeks flooded my head. I looked up at Lucas and this moda fucker was just standing there in front of me, rooted on the spot, with his eyes falling on everything else except me. “Veronica, you can't be too sure yet. For all you know, it may not be HIV. Go to the hospital first.” My mind spoke to me, and I immediately obeyed. I didn't have to spell it out to Lucas that he and I were officially over, and woe betide him if I turn out to be positive. Before walking out of the door, I looked at him one last time and said, “I'd better not have HIV...” “May God kill you for me.” And then I rushed out of his apartment, ran to my car, and was soon speeding to St. Rita's hospital, about a 30-minute drive from Lucas’ house.