After Death (TAGALOG)

Kabanata Bente

Walang katok-katok na pumasok siya sa opisina nito. Kunot noong tumunghay si Amir at nang makita siya nito ay nakahinga ito ng maluwag.

"Okay, tell me what's going on."

"Have a seat first," Amir motioned for the seat in front of him. Hindi na siya nakipag talo at umopo na.

Habang tinitignan niya ang kaibigan, napapansin niyang namumutla ito at nangigitim ang mata. Hindi ito ang usual na Amir na nakikita niya. Kadalasan kasi ay postorang postora ito at matikas ang tindig. Ngayon ay parang lantang gulay na ilang beses pinakuluan ng tubig.

"Okay ka lang?" tanong niya rito dahil sa tingin niya ay anumang sandali mawawalan ito ng malay. "Sobra bang laki ng problema kaya ka nagkakaganyan?"

Seriously, wala siyang ideya kung anong nangyayari. He came here as soon as possible because it seemed urgent, like what Amir said. Bihira niya lang makitang ganito sa Amir. He's usually calm and composed even if the world is in chaos.

Pero ngayon ay para itong na-sandwitch ng langit at lupa.

"Asta, alam kong hindi ka pa nakakarecover ng husto. Pero may kailangan kang malaman," he said.

Bigla siyang nakaramdam ng kaba sa sinabi nito. What he said just gave him a hint on what will he reveal to him. Tungkol ito sa pamilya niya. Has Amir been secretly in investigating the real story behind his parent's accident?

Amir really took his concern in another level. Ngunit hindi niya maintindihan kung ano ang purpose ng pag-iimbistiga nito kung sinabi na ng mga parak ang dahilan ng aksidente.

"Tell me about it," seryosong saad niya. He has the right to know everything about his family. Kahit masaktan siya ng paulit-ulit, mas pipiliin niya pa ring malaman ang lahat.

Huminga ng malalim si Amir habang nakatungo sa mesa. He's hand is supporting his head and he looked so devastated.

"Your parents didn't die in an accident," simula nito.

Nang marinig niya palang ang unang mga salitang iyon ay nayanig na ang mundo niya. Countless questions popped inside his mind but he choose to let Amir finish his words before concluding anything.

"They committed suicide together, Asta."

Asta mentally heard a loud bang and he find himself gripping the edge of the table so hard. Tila may pumutok na ugat sa kanyang ulo dahil hindi kaagad siya nakapag-isip o salita man lang.

Suicide? Why would they even think of commiting suicide? Their business is stable, their family is happy, they have anything what they need and want!

"How can you say that?" Nagpipigil ng emosyong tanong niya dito. "Are you pranking me, Amir? You know this is a sensitive topic to me, right?"

Ayaw niyang maniwala. He refuse to believe that his parents we're too selfish to leave them behind! Kilala niya ang mga magulang, mahal na mahal nila silang magkapatid. They could never be too selfish to just disappear!

"I wish I was only pranking you, but what I said is true," saad ni Amir. "I investigated deeper because I'm having doubts, and this is what I found."

May nilapag itong folder sa mesa at inusog palapit sa kanya. Nanginginig na binuksan niya ito at tumambad sa kanya ang pictures na kuha sa CCTV camera.

It's a picture of his father who's under a car and fixing something. His mother was standing beside the car, he could see the sideview of her face. She looked so stressed and sad, why?

"Sinira ni Tito ang brake ng sasakyan, flip to the next picture, you'll see him holding something in his hands."

Nang tignan niya naman ang tinuturo nito, nakita nga niyang may hawak ang Daddy niya ng bilog na bagay sa kamay habang nakaharap sa kanyang Mommy na tila nag-uusap ang dalawa.

"Siguro naman ay pamilyar ka sa bagay na iyan, hindi lang basta-basta sinira ni Tito ang brake, kinuha niya ito at hindi na binalik."

Hindi siya nakapagsalita. Base sa kuha ng CCTV camera, totoo ngang kagagawan ng parents niya ang lahat ng dahilan kung bakit naaksidente ang mga ito. No, masakit mang isipin ngunit lumalabas na nag-suicide talaga ang dalawa.

But why?

"You know it well, right Asta? Removing the brake of a car is suicide. Paano hihinto ang sasakyan, kung walang brake?"

His mind went blank. Pagkatapos ng kanyang nalaman ay hindi na niya alam kung ano ang iisipin. Tiniklop niya ang folder at wala na siyang balak na muli itong buksan.

How will he react to this kind of news?

Ang akala niyang 'aksidente' at suicide pala. Thingking back, wala siyang maalalang maaaring maging dahilan kung bakit nagawa ito ng mga magulang niya.

His mother and father are always happy, the two never showed any sign of depression. They we're always happy and satisfied, so what did go wrong?

"May alam ka bang dahilan kung bakit nila ito nagawa, Asta? I think it's a family problem that pushed them to do this. The company is stable so it's out of the picture."

Umiling si Asta sa tanong ni Amir.

"A history of depression, perhaps? Lots of things influence whether a person gets depressed. Some of it is biology, things like our genes, brain chemistry, and hormones."

Napaisip siya. I think he remembered his mother saying that his grandfather suffered depression at his early teens, fortunately he survived and lived a happy life before resting in peace.

"Is it really in genes?" Nagtatakang tanong niya kay Amir.

"Some people inherit genes that contribute to depression. But not everyone who has a family member with depression will develop it too. And many people with no family history of depression still get depressed. So genes are one factor, but they aren't the only reason for depression." Mahabang paliwanag nito.

Napatango siya. He always thought that depression depends on the person and the environment. Naiisip niya palagi na hindi tatablan ng depression ang mga taong malakas ang mental capacity.

Because depression is all in the mind, right? Sabi nga niya noon, 'the happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.'

Kung magpapadala ka sa kalungkutan, talo ka. May mga paraan naman para lumaban at mabuhay, and he admired those people who choose to live despite everything.

Life is a beautiful mess.

"Do you still have anything to say?" Tanong niya kay Amir.

Tumingin ito sa kanya na tila binabasa kung anong iniisip niya. It took all of his control to hide the raging emotions deep inside him. He can't show Amir how wrecked he has become. Maaawa lang ito sa kanya, and right now, he don't need anyone's pity.

"I still didn't gathered enough, I'll investigate deeper into this," stressed na saad nito.

Nagpapasalamat siya at may kaibigan siyang handang saluhin ang kalahati ng dinadala niya. Sa totoo nga ay mukhang mas apektado pa ito kesa sa kanya.

"You're a lawyer not an investigator, remember that Attorney," tumayo na siya matapos sabihin ang mga katagang iyon.