Broken Chains

Chapter 16

We didn’t talk about Derek’s tears we just had s*x that was something we could do anything else was beyond us right now. So we had just had s*x and allowed the talking to wait until later. We got three more thumps on the wall in protest to my eager screams every time I came, but of course Derek’s response every time was just to shout ‘f**k off’. It didn’t bother me in the least I was with my mate that was all I cared about. Eventually we fell asleep together our bodies so tightly entwined it was hard to tell which limbs were mine and which were Derek’s. I forced myself to stay awake until I could hear Derek’s snoring, confident now that he would be there when I woke up; I snuggled down into him and allowed myself to drift off to sleep.

I purred as I felt my sleep drifting away from me as Derek kissed the back of my neck. Kisses which turned into light playful nibbles as he heard my responses. Suddenly Derek spun me around roughly to face me kissing me gently, such tenderness that was such a contrast to the rough passion of our night together, it wasn't more loving as we're wolves deep down but it made something inside me hurt as Derek brushed the hair back from my face with his fingertips his other hand cupping my face gently as his lips brushed across mine, his kisses tasting of the salt of his tears. Despite everything they had done everything he had said and done here, he had changed yes he had done things I would never have believed him capable of but that was because I had lived in my safe little princess bubble. Knowing vaguely what he was doing out there in defence of the pack and what it was doing to him but despite knowing this I didn’t comprehend it I wouldn’t, but if I had would it have seemed such a monumental shift to what he was now? Whether it was or not it didn’t matter this guy now was Derek maybe he had changed but so had I and anyway deep down here now that didn’t matter he was still my Derek in all the ways that mattered, in his heart he was my Derek. I smiled at him,

“You didn’t leave.”

“I promised.” He said gently twiddling my engagement ring which as always I wore on the chain with the amethyst pendant he had given me, he might have thrown that ring away but it still meant something to me.

“I know but won’t they want to know where you were.” He gave a laugh that as always sounded more like a cough, I bit my lip I hadn't realised how much I had missed it.

“I’m not in the pack anymore Jess. We don’t give a flying f**k about each other. We band together for protection not out of loyalty. These guys have allegiance to nobody. I mean Beth is the closest thing to an Alpha but that’s more because she’s a slag than anything else. If one guy tries to topple her there are always five who will jump in to protect her. Dan your half brother especially he’s devoted to her and he’s a good guy well as good as he can be expected to be. But he’s not really an alpha anyway none of these boys really want to be an alpha, rogues don’t care much about hierarchy.”

“But you’re an Alpha.” I said softly, Derek shrugged,

“We all have our place”

“Grovelling to my sister.” He smiled,

“Before I was just a lapdog to the other sister.” He said I looked intently at his eyes determined to find the bite there but I couldn’t he wasn’t trying to hurt me that was just honest. “I hold my own and I guess I’m the closest there is to second.” he said without any hint of any emotion other than disgust. “I’ve stopped f*****g her.” He said after a long silence, I bit my lip not knowing what I could say to that, “a long time ago. I couldn’t bear to touch her after…” he cut off and just bit his lip.

“But aren’t they going to wonder when you were all night.” I asked quietly, I understood what he was trying to tell me but I couldn’t discuss his f*****g or not f*****g my sister it made something inside me hurt.

“In a word- no.” he said with a shrug, passively accepting the change he had told me what he wanted me to know anyway, “Beth may ask I might tell her but not until were safely away from you, because she will be pissed.” He said smiling as if that news was something he was truly looking forward to breaking “but were not a pack they genuinely don’t really care. Beth only has interest because I’m the newest toy, I mean stealing me away from you was her greatest achievement against you and of it’s the closest she’s got to destabilising the pack. and she stupidly thinks that if I’m sleeping with her it’s destroying what I have with you, her continuing revenge against the pack, she doesn’t understand.” he purred leaning across to kiss me hard deep passionate kisses which we allowed our self just a few moments to revel in.

“She’s gone through a lot I mean she was right if our mother had grabbed me and not her.”

“I wouldn’t have let that happen.” Derek growled protectively.

“Well if I’d behaved myself and stayed where I was told.” Derek smiled

“You wouldn’t have let that happen.”

I snuggled down into his chest and he gave a noise that sounded almost like a purr as he ran a hand down my bare back.

“Totally worth it.” He muttered

“What is?”

“being able to touch you like this all those years of writhing of yearning for you I started to tell myself that whatever you felt like it would never be as good as my dreams made it, but god it’s so much better and it just seems to get better and better the more I do it.” He purred the last words as he continued sliding his hands over every inch of my body my shoulders, my neck and my breasts his hands making Goosebumps erupt in their wake.

“You’re making it so hard to go back to reality.” I said as he brushed my hair off my shoulder.

“So I think we shouldn’t bother going back to reality and just stay here.” He said seductively, his fingers trailing down my thigh.

“I wish we could.”

“Me too baby.”

“So what do we do now?” I sighed,

“I can think of a million things to do to you right now.” Derek purred into my hair,

“You know what I mean.” He sighed and sat up.

“Okay Jess here it is.” He said as I sat up next to him, “f**k pull that sheet up so I can put two words together coherently.” I smiled and pulled the sheet up to cover my breasts. “No better “he growled to himself averting his eyes “I still know what’s under there.” He rubbed above his eyes “right baby” he said seeming to have steeled himself, “you go home.”

“Like fuck.”

“Listen. I can’t go back and you know that baby I appreciate you trying to save me but you know Darius will kill me he has to.”

“No he doesn’t.”

“Yes he does. Our whole lives are striving to be exactly what rogues aren’t I can’t have a holiday as one and …I…I killed Jamie he was my brother.”

“You didn’t mean too.”

“No I didn’t.” he all but whispered, “but the others I meant to kill them.” He ran his hands through his hair savagely. " you know I lied to you.” He muttered keeping his gaze carefully away from mine, “I killed that Girl.” I bit my lip “when you were at school I poured my heart out to you and you hung up on me and I got angry and drunk and just f*****g stupid. I was so angry. And I lied to you I mean I know I had to lie to Darius if I wanted my life but you.”

“I knew ,” I said gently Derek frowned at me, “you were lying I knew that but I wanted to believe you and so I did, what was my choice anyway if I didn’t believe you" I sighed "you would die. I don't care anyway. What you’ve done.” I said firmly “I know who you are.” I said clutching at his hands “and I love you and that’ll never change.”

“If I’m one of them they won’t attack the pack.” Derek said keeping his eyes down.

“What?”

“Beth gave me her word.”

“Are you insane you trust her?”

“No. but what else can I do. If she does plan to screw over the pack at least I can warn you.”

“No. you can’t. You have to get out of this. This is not you I remember who you are this isn’t it this isn’t you.” He snorted, “The pack will survive we always do but I don’t want it to if the price is you.”

“This is not the boy scouts jess I can’t just go in tomorrow and return my badge. “I can’t exactly run I’m rouge now.” He said his hand drifting shamefully to stroke the scar where his brand used to be. “I have nowhere to run to. You can’t be in this situation you have to go home it’s safe there and more than anything I want you to be safe my love.” He said softly his fingers drifting down to stroke the pack brand on my wrist sadly.

“And I want you to be with you.” I whispered, He smiled gently

“so what was the plan find me force me to repent check now what?” beg the Alpha for mercy.”

“Pretty much we drag you back to pack territory and get you to behave while we beg Darius.”

“Sweet my love but pointless.”

“Not really I’m currently second in command...well sort of,” A smile spread across Derek’s face whether it was amused, mocking or realisation of my wonderful plan I couldn’t tell.

“Well I guess you are and let’s face it you have a lot more Alpha material than anyone else there. So what's your plan going to pardon me when Darius dies.”

“It’s a long term plan.” I said with a shrug.

“Well if you want to remain in good enough favour with your father to remain second in command you really should go home because he is pissed.”

“I’m astounded.” I said with a shrug “how do you know anyway?” I asked frowning at him,

“I have my methods.” Derek said slyly,

“Which are?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Tell me.” I said,

“No.”

“Tell me.” I said pressing my naked body into him for just a second before I slid back from him pushing on his chest firmly. Derek groaned and tightened his arms around me keeping me lying on his chest.

“alright.” He purred nuzzling into my hair. “Darius cloned your phone.”

“Huh?”

“Well Geoff did and it's not cloning exactly I’m not really sure what it is but basically every text you sent and received also went to another phone that Darius had.” He said calmly,

“What?” I exploded far from calmly.

“He just monitored what was going on in your world.” I felt pure terror gripping me; simply it was embarrassment there are certain things about your life that you don’t want your father to b knowing about.

“I can’t believe that.”

“I can’t believe you’re surprised you’re his only child of course he was keeping an eye on you. He also had your call logs and access to your answer phone messages obviously.”

“Obviously.” Derek smiled,

“Anyway when Beth had you I snagged the phone from his study just in case.”

“But I don’t have that phone anymore.”

“I know, “he said “but Darius didn’t and for a while he was leaving you messages in the hope that you’d get them he hasn’t bothered for a long time.” I sighed,

“Anyway that doesn’t matter anymore.” I said flapping it away “what do you think?”

“Yeah, I think where’s my carrot?” I frowned, “in your plan I’m alone, repenting, in agony, hunted intently, terrified for the pack but unable to help in any way and I still don’t have you.”

“But I’ll have you. I can survive if I know my mate’s in this world even if I can’t hold you. I still know your there and as long as your Derek your mine.”

“I am. I wasn’t for the longest time because it hurt like hell but I am now its agony the things I have done but your there. The one piece of me I could never deny. The one thing I could never let myself stop loving.” I kissed him gently and as we broke apart he stared into my eyes as if searching for something. “Okay.” He said gently I frowned at him. “I’ll do it. I’ll get out I don’t know how the hell I’m going to manage it but I will. I’ll do it, I’ll behave and I’ll wait. But I want a promise from you.”

“Anything.”

“Don’t ever let me back into the pack”

“What the hell do you mean that’s the total plan.”

“No the pack is more important than me and if you bring me back if you forgive this.” he shook his head “it goes against every principle the pack is built upon. It won’t survive that. And we need the pack for our family to be safe. It would tear us apart. Think of the baby Lucas what would he become, Vivian… Ashton without the pack what would happen." I bit my lip I could answer that.

“But I love you.”

“I know and that won’t change forever remember. You’ll be safe. I’ll be me and our family will be as strong as ever.” He leaned into me again kissing me with such tenderness even as I felt tears began to slip down my cheeks , Derek clearly felt them too as slowly his thumbs stroked my cheeks pushing the tears away. There was such love between us then I would have quite happily died in his arms right then. He broke away from my kiss to turn and glare at the door with a fierce growl.

“Not the response I was hoping for.” I purred pushing myself up against him. Derek smiled at me before again glaring at the door.

“My Beloved Brothers lurking out there.” I groaned and hid my head in Derek’s warm chest. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me. “He seems to know I’m here.” he whispered into my hair. “Because otherwise he’d be hammering on the door wanting in but as it is he won’t because he knows I’m in here and that if I see him right now I might rip his bollocks off.”

“Derek”

“I might.” He said with a shrug “he touched you he deserves it.”

“A lot of guys touched me when I was at Uni and you didn’t act like this.” I said knowing I had to at least try and soothe things out between my boys. But as Derek’s muscles clenched I knew I was going about it the wrong way.

“I did.” he growled “you just didn’t see it. And that was only was because Darius laid every order on me he could think of to hold me back .I don’t have any of those restraints anymore.”

“He’s your brother.”

“Oh I know that, believe me that’s the only reason I haven’t hoped out of bed and run out into the hallway and ripped off his balls. YET.”

“And here I was being arrogant and thinking you just liked being in bed with me more.” He kissed the top of my head. “So what now?” Derek exhaled loudly clearly thinking. after a second his fingers wondering down my naked thigh clearly told me what he was thinking about. “I don’t think we have time.” I said pressing a kiss to his warm chest subtly licking across his taut muscles. Derek groaned and suddenly leapt out of bed and scooped me up in his arms carrying me to the bathroom. “What are you doing?”

“We’ll multi-task we are off to the shower two things at once so that way we’ll have time.” He said placing me in the shower cubicle with a wicked smile.