Wounded warrior

Wait… I just couldn’t take it anymore. My knees gave in, and I collapsed onto the cold ground. My homeboy’s voice drifted away into the night, fading like smoke into thin air. I didn’t know when everything went wrong… only that I was now alone, lying in the dusk. My eyes grew heavy, but I kept staring in one direction, as if something was calling me. Why does sleep come so cheap these days? I asked myself. Footsteps approached. My head rested in a pool of my own blood. It was thick now… nature taking its course. I could hear people behind me, their voices trembling. “Innocent… are you okay? What happened?” They didn’t understand. My body was already preparing to leave this heartless earth. My life flashed before me—backwards. From a man… to a child… to nothing. Then I heard my great-grandfather’s voice: “No matter what you go through… there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.” And then— A blinding light. Everything went black. “Not today…” I whispered to God. “Not today.” The voices grew louder… then distant again. It felt like I was sinking underwater—sound bending, fading, returning in waves I couldn’t control. “Innocent! Stay with us!” Hands touched my back… my shoulders… but I couldn’t respond. My body had already started giving up on me. The ground beneath me felt warm, soaked, and alive with the blood escaping from my body. I tried to move my fingers. Nothing. Tried to speak. Nothing. Only my thoughts were alive… racing… screaming. Is this how it ends? A sudden pressure hit my chest as if something invisible sat on me, forcing the last breath out of my lungs. My vision blurred at the edges, slowly folding into darkness. Faces hovered above me, but they didn’t have names anymore. Just shapes. Shadows. Then— A sharp slap. “Hey! Don’t close your eyes! Stay with me!” My head rolled slightly to the side. I couldn’t feel the pain… but I heard it. I heard the panic in their voices. I heard fear. And for the first time… I felt afraid, too. Not of death. But of leaving things unfinished. A loud hooter pierced through the night. A car. Doors opening. Voices overlapping. “Careful! Lift him—lift him!” My body was no longer mine. I felt myself being carried, dragged between arms that were shaking under my weight. My head dropped back, and for a second, the sky opened up above me. Dark. Endless. Quiet. This can’t be it… Inside the car, everything moved fast… yet slow at the same time. “Drive! DRIVE!” The engine roared. The car jolted forward. My body shifted with every turn, every bump in the road sending silent shocks through me. I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t react. But deep inside… I felt it. Fading. Piece by piece. “Stay with me, my brother… please…” The driver’s voice cracked. I wanted to answer him. To tell him I was still here. But my mouth refused to move. Then… A different voice. Soft. Shaking. Close. “God finally answered our prayers…” A hand grabbed mine. Cold against cold. And then… She placed my hand on her stomach. Time stopped. Even in that state… broken, bleeding, barely breathing… I understood. A child. Mine. For a brief second— I smiled. Not with my lips… but with my soul. I’m going to be a father… But the warmth didn’t last. My eyes drifted to her hands. Blood. My blood. Covering her fingers… her palms… staining everything. The reality hit harder than the knife ever could. I wasn’t just dying. I was leaving people behind. Darkness swallowed me again. Silence. Cold. Then… A distant sound. Crying. Familiar. Painful. “My child… my child…” My mother. I wanted to open my eyes. I fought. It's harder than I’ve ever fought for anything in my life. My eyelids felt heavy… like stones placed over them. But slowly… slowly… Light broke through. Blurry. Shaking. The world returned in fragments. A ceiling. White lights. Shadows moving. And then— Her face. Wet with tears. Calling me by a name I hadn’t heard in years. My childhood name. That broke me. Not the stabbing. Not the pain. Not even death standing at my door. But hearing my mother cry like that… That shattered something deep inside me. “I’m here…” I tried to say. Nothing came out. My lips trembled, but no words followed. I was trapped inside myself. Alive. But powerless. “Please wait outside, ma’am… we’re doing everything we can.” Hands gently pulled her away. Her fingers slipped from mine. And just like that… I was alone again. Machines beeped somewhere in the room. Footsteps rushed in and out. Voices spoke over me like I wasn’t there. But I heard everything. Every word. Every doubt. Every second slips away. Breathing became a battle. Each inhale felt stolen. Each exhale felt like it could be the last. Then something changed. Not outside. Inside. The pain disappeared. Completely. And in its place… Came something else. Something stronger. Something darker. Anger. Not the loud kind. It's not the shouting kind. But a deep… burning fire that sat quietly in my chest. I can’t die like this. That thought echoed louder than anything else. Louder than the machines. Louder than the voices. Louder than death itself. I can’t die like this. Not without answers. Not without seeing my child. Not without telling my mother… I’m still here. My body was weak. Broken. Shutting down. But my spirit? Refusing. And in that moment… Between life and death… I made a decision. Not today.