My hot mentor

Chapter fourteen - You are the inspiration

Ethan's POV:

I took Ashley to a bookstore. It was the most adorable thing I have ever seen. I knew she loved books but didn't know it was that much. I made her choose one for me. I have no idea what it is about, but I'll read it. I might get inspiration for another short story. I tried to be honest and open with her. That didn't end well. She told me that everything was fake. It was only a favor. I know she doesn't believe it. For some reason, she doesn't want to be around me. I thought something was going on. I will say that we have similar interests. Both of us are chasing the same goal. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. I don't know what else to say. Her words hurt a little bit. I didn't expect her to reject me. Not everyone will like me. I don't mind it. Well, I wish she did. At least this inspired me to write another short story. Not everything that happens to me should go online. My followers don't know if this is about me. Chloe and Tyler probably do. He is back on track. I have no idea what happened to him. He didn't tell me anything. It's not like I need to know. Of course, he asked me ten thousand questions. This time, I was honest. I expected him to laugh or make a joke, but no. He was supportive and told me not to give up. I hope that the mixed relations with Ashley won't affect our studies.

I have a lesson with Ashley today. Her words are like a never-ending song in my head. I didn't expect her to react this way, but I'll respect her decision. I don't know what else to do. I can apologize for what I said. It's not like this will change anything. Every word I said to her was true. I didn't lie. The thing is that she doesn't care or doesn't want to care. I never felt like that before. Probably, that is because the girls weren't like her.

I woke up and checked my websites. I uploaded a new story yesterday. It already has ten thousand views on all platforms. That is great. I wish I could've written a more positive one. Later, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I have to get ready for the day. I made myself a cup of coffee. I won't eat breakfast today. I'm not hungry. Tyler texted me that he and Chloe would wait for me in the coffee shop at university. I can reject them because I'm not in the mood, but I won't. The next time I need them, they might not come.

- What took you so long? Also, you look terrible. I haven't seen you like that in a while. - Tyler said

- You can't tell him that. - Chloe said

- It's ok.

- I'm honest. He values my opinion.

- Even if it's true, you don't need to be so cruel.

- Now, I'm cruel.

- Can you stop arguing because you are giving me a headache?

- We're sorry.

- Whatever.

- Ethan, are you ok? You can share with us.

- I don't want to talk about it.

- Is it because of her? - Tyler asked, looking at Ashley who was waiting for her food

- It doesn't matter.

- We think it does. I read the last story. I don't know what happened, but you better talk to her. - Chloe said

- Why would I do that? Nothing will change.

- That is not true.

- Hey, can we take our classes a bit early? - Ashley said

- Yes, sure. How early?

- After half an hour.

- No problem. You can wait for me in the halls.

- Thanks. - she said and left

- That was awkward. - Chloe said

- Don't tell. Something has happened. I can see it. - Tyler said

- I was honest, ok? It didn't end well.

- Honest? You told her everything!

- I tried. It ended terribly. She doesn't even want to look at me.

- At least you have her as your student. Not everything is lost. - she said

- It's not the same. I'm only a mentor. Nothing more.

- That is not true.

- It is. She was clear.

- This doesn't mean you have to give up.

- Look at it from the positive side. You found your inspiration. - he said

- Yes, but it's not right. I can't talk like that about her in the stories.

- I don't understand why it hurts you. I mean, you have been rejected before.

- But I didn't care. Things are different.

- How? You have taught girls before.

- You won't understand. I think you will realize many things when you find someone like you.

- If you say so.

I went for my lesson with Ashley. I can tell things are awkward. She doesn't want to have anything with me. Sadly, I have to accept it. There is nothing else I can do. I tried to switch to a professional mode. It worked for a short time. I can't look at her without thinking about the party. I have to erase this memory. Maybe it would've been better if I hadn't done it. I didn't even realize when I stopped listening to her. This won't be easy.

- Are you ok? You barely said anything since we started.

- Do you care?

- Yes. My teacher can't be silent. - she said, chuckling

- I'm not in the mood for jokes.

- If it's about what I said.

- I don't want to talk about it.

- Try to understand me. It will be better for you this way.

- What do you know?

- Enough. I don't understand why you care so much. I'm not the only girl in the world.

- There are so many things I can tell you, but you won't care.

- Tell me.

- Will you listen?

- Yes, I will. I want to know how you feel.

- And then what? You will leave.

- No, I won't.

- I lied about the party since the beginning. I stayed not to continue pretending. I liked it. It was a fun thing to do. Maybe I went too far with the kiss, but it's like a memory. It won't go away. I told you it was fake and meant nothing because I didn't want to tell you the truth. I want to do many things with you, but you will reject me. I am used to this, but it still got me when you said no. Do I want more? Yes. Will you say no? Yes. For some reason, you don't want me. I should accept it.

She didn't say anything. At least she didn't walk away. We kept studying for an hour. I thought she would go back to her dorm, but no. She wasn't moving at all. It's like she is thinking about something. I noticed the emotion change. Did I say something? She said she would listen. I was honest. What else am I supposed to do? I know what I risk being with her, but I can't avoid it. Also, since we met, my stories have become better.

- Did I say something?

- No. I have to go. I'm sorry.

- Wait! You can talk to me. - I said and grabbed her hand

- Don't make it harder than it already is.

- I don't understand why you are doing this yourself.

- It's better for you to keep this professional. I have nothing to lose, but you do.

- Lose what? I don't care if I'll be a mentor or not. I'm graduating this year.

- Maybe, but the whole university will know you slept with your student.

- Hold on. It was only a kiss.

- Rumors spread faster than the light.

- Are you worried about me?

- No comment.

- Tell me. I want things to be the way they used to be.

- Then keep it.

- Don't say it! How about this? We'll keep it the same as before and pretend I never said what I told you that day. What do you say?

- I guess I can try.

- I wanted to offer you something. Look at this pamphlet. It's about a club reading where they discuss a different book every week. You mentioned that you have read it. If you want, we can go. I had to read this book as well.

- Why? I had no idea you read such things.

- Don't get jealous. Someone left me a note, and now the notes are two. The first one is a quote from this book.

- That's sweet. What was the quote?

- You can read it. - I said and pulled out the note

- I would love to see this character on screen.

- What about me?

- Oops. - Ashley said, chuckling

Like that, we studied for another hour. I can't forget what I told Ashley, but I can ignore it. If this is the only way to make her stay with me, I'll do it. I'm glad she agreed to come with me to a book reading. I have been there a few times. There is always something new you can learn. The other thing is that we won't do anything. I stopped torturing her with lessons, but we kept talking. I can listen to her all day without getting bored. There is something in her voice that makes you follow the lead. Let's not talk about the perfect smile on her face. I would love to kiss her again, but she will never let this happen.

- What boyfriend? - I asked

- Now you are listening to me. I have been talking about the book for five minutes.

- I'm sorry.

- Can you stop staring at me? I won't look at you.

- Change your appearance, and I'll stop doing it.

- What's wrong with it?

- It's too perfect. I can't see anything else.

- Very funny.

- Apart from the joke, you look good. Not only today.

- Well, thanks. I, um, appreciate the compliment.

- For you always.

- Can I ask you something?

- Sure.

- Was the last story about me?

- I.

- It was. Wasn't it?

- I didn't want it to sound this way.

- Hey, I'm not mad. It's good. I liked it.

- The one for the boy and the bumping girl was also for you.

- I understood that. I didn't click immediately, but I realized it later. - Ashley said, chuckling

- You are the inspiration and always will be.

- Why don't you focus on someone else?

- Because I can't. It's too late. Even if I try, something will push this person away and replace him with you.

- It's for your good. Forget about me.

- I can't, and you are in the same situation. You don't want to talk about this, but you should. I won't let you avoid me.

- I'm not avoiding you. I only avoid the close situations.

- You can't run away from your feelings.

- I never said I wanted to do it.

- To change the topic, I read your short stories.

- All of them?

- Yes. You have talent. I can give you some phrases and tricks for better writing.

- I would love that.

Ashley and I kept talking. She won't let me close to herself, no matter how much I want it. Maybe after I graduate we can try, but I don't think I can survive that long. I have a few months. I can try to talk with my parents, but I don't think they will be pleased. Let's say that they still don't believe I chose the right career. I won't focus on that. The good news is that I have inspiration for my novel. Ashley is feeding me with so many ideas. The sad part is that it's about me. I wrote how I feel in one of the chapters. I wonder if this will have a happy ending. I hope that I will finish it.