My hot mentor

Chapter twenty - No longer my inspiration

Ethan's POV:

She did it. I got replaced. I heard what she said but didn't think she would do it. Now I know what it's like to lose someone. I don't know why I feel this way. We got close when she was my student. I tried to behave, but I learned more things about her. She was what I needed. I tried to keep writing, but it sucked. Every short story I started was a mess. I only managed to write another chapter in my novel. It was nothing else. I described how I felt. I lost my inspiration. I might have never told her this, but it was true. She kept inspiring me all the time. My greatest stories achieved their success because of her. I tried to talk to her, but she didn't answer my messages. I guess I have to let her go. I don't understand why she had to do this. No one knew what happened. I haven't told anyone. That could've been our secret. I only wanted to keep her close. It's not that much. Maybe she didn't need this. I never asked her. I made everything about myself. That was my mistake. I hadn't asked her what she wanted, but that wasn't needed. I saw it in her eyes. She enjoyed it as much as I did. I understand she cares about me, but she should think about herself. Sometimes, you might miss the best opportunities. That is what happened to me with Ashley. I hope that one day, she will change her mind.

For the past two weeks, I couldn't write anything. I posted one of my older stories. It wasn't that good, but I want to give something to my readers. Whatever I tried was a mess. Then I decided to write a story about myself. It will be about how I feel. I don't care if Ashley will read it. That was until I started. I don't want the whole internet to know about my problems. I might take a break. I keep seeing her at university, but she doesn't want to talk to me. I should forget about her.

Currently, I'm with Tyler and Chloe at the university. I finished my class ten minutes ago. I tried to pay attention as much as possible. Ashley passed by, and all the memories hit me. Each time was better than the last one. I got rejected many times. The thing is that I didn't care. I wanted to go after her. Sadly, I had nothing to tell her. She wasn't going to listen to me. Both of them looked at me. I know what they think about now, but I'll be fine. Well, one day.

- Look, I'm sorry about this. I had no idea she didn't tell you. - Chloe said

- I'm not mad at you. At least she is with a good teacher.

- Try to talk with her. Since you are not her mentor anymore, things might work out.

- She doesn't even want to hear about me.

- That is not true. I can try talking with her, but I don't expect to find anything. Ashley wants things to be strictly professional.

- Do as she says. Otherwise, she will change you as well.

- I don't think this will happen, but I'll listen to you.

- What will you say about her? Is he a good student? - Tyler asked

- She is the perfect student. I have never seen someone so passionate about their work.

- I told you. - I said

- Now I know why you like her. You two look alike a lot.

- Do you plan to give up? This is not in your style. - Tyler said

- I won't, but I'll give her some time. Nothing else left me.

- You can use this as a chance to talk with your parents. - Chloe said

- I don't know. I can't listen to their criticism.

- No one said that they would do that.

- I know my parents. They still don't like the idea of my career.

- They will regret this when you make it big. Your stories are great.

- Thanks, but they don't read them. The only way to impress them is with a book. I don't have even one.

- Yet. You have enough time to write one. - Tyler said

- He is right. Success doesn't come overnight. This needs time and dedication.

- Right now, I can't write anything. I'm stuck.

- You can always take a break. This might help you with new ideas.

- Maybe. I'll see what I can do.

- Don't give up. If she is worth it, chase her. After you graduate, she is all yours.

- Until someone else doesn't come.

- That won't happen. Her eyes already landed on you. No one can beat that.

- I hope so.

I talked with my friends for a while. I might visit my parents for dinner. I didn't call them, but I don't know if they will answer me. It's better if I do it without telling them. They won't make me go. I went to my last class of the day. I took some notes, but I probably won't read them. I don't even know where to go anymore. Staying at home makes me sick. I have nothing to do outside. I was about to go when I saw Ashley with some girls. I want to tell her many things, but she won't listen.

- Hey. Can we talk for a minute?

- I have nothing to tell you.

- But I do.

- We'll wait for you in the coffee shop. - one of the girls said, and they left

- What do you want from me? It's over.

- The mentor thing, yes. This doesn't mean we can't be friends.

- Look, I don't want us to have any relations. Forget about this.

- Why? Since I don't teach you, I don't see anything wrong with that.

- You don't get it, do you?

- To get what?

- I don't want this. Go and find someone else.

- But I don't want someone else. I want you.

- Bad luck. I have to go.

- Wait! - I said and grabbed her hand

- Let me go.

- Why are you trying to convince yourself the opposite?

- That is not true.

- It is. I can prove it to you in five seconds.

- Don't you dare!

- Why? Because it's f*******n. I don't understand you.

- I never said you have to do it.

- Can we at least be friends? Please.

- No.

- Why?

- Because we both know this is impossible.

- Does this mean I have a chance?

- You don't. I'm only telling you that the friendship thing won't end well.

- You don't trust me.

- How can I? You didn't keep your word. - she said and left

Great. What am I supposed to do now? She won't talk with me. The problem is mine. It won't change anything, even if I tell her how I feel. Nothing of what she said was true. For some reason, she wants to believe it. I went home and saw a note on the floor. It's the same girl. I thought it could be Ashley because she was the only one who had been there. Well, if you ask Linda, she can give everyone my address. You should say where you live if you don't stay in a dorm. My address is public. After some time, I got a call from Chloe. She probably wants something.

- Yes?

- Hey. Ashley said you have covered chapter four of mister Nelson's lessons. Can you give me some materials? I can't find mine. You can do that tomorrow. It's not urgent. We won't study today.

- I think I have. I'll give you whatever I find.

- Thank you so much. Are you ok? You don't sound well. Also, you started sitting at the back of every class.

- I'm fine.

- I won't tell anyone. Is it because of Ashley?

- Why does she have to be the center of the universe?

- No, it's of your universe. What happened?

- I tried to talk with her. It didn't end well.

- I'm sorry. Give Ashley some time.

- No, it's over. Ashley said it.

- I don't know what to tell you.

- I found a note at home.

- She knows your address.

- It's a public thing. You know I had to register my address since I left the dorm.

- True. I forgot about that. Anyone can have it.

- I thought it was Ashley because she was the only one I invited here. We only studied. It can't be her. She is mad at me.

- Don't you know her handwriting?

- Mostly, we were talking. I mean, we didn't write much in our studies. Ashley printed her work.

- You can investigate a little bit. The girl is not from our class, for sure.

- I know. Do you need anything else?

- No, thank you. I'll call you if something comes up.

I tried to write in the afternoon, but nothing happened. Ashley is no longer my inspiration, and my stories are dead. I made myself lunch, but I barely ate it. I tried with a nap. It didn't help much, but it made the time pass faster. Later, I went to get ready. Hopefully, my parents are at home. I haven't called them. I took my things and walked out. I knocked on the door and waited. They might not even open it. I won't be surprised. Soon, my mom showed up.

- Ethan?

- Hey, mom. Can I come in?

- Of course.

- Is dad here?

- No, he went out with his friends. I'm alone tonight.

- You could've gone out.

- I'm noting the mood for that. Why are you here? I'm sure you are not here to see me. Do you have problems with your career?

- No, this is great. I have a problem with a girl.

- Oh. I want to hear this.

- Here is the short story. We met at university. The girl is a first grader. It turned out that I was her mentor. I tried to keep things professional, but I failed. Now, the girl doesn't want to talk to me. Thanks to this, my work sucks.

- Doesn't this girl have a name? Also, what does your work have to do with her?

- Ashley. Without knowing it, she was giving me ideas.

- Let me see if I understood correctly. The girl you like was your inspiration. She left with the inspiration.

- Yes.

- I see. Do you know why the girl left?

- Ashley told me to wait until I graduate. That way, I won't get in trouble.

- Why didn't you listen to her? You could've saved yourself the trouble of losing her.

- Because I couldn't. I never had standards about dating, but Ashley is everything I wanted.

- Don't give up on her. Maybe you should give her some time. I'm sure she will forgive you.

- I don't think so.

- Keep your head up.

- I don't know what to do. The other problem is that I keep receiving notes from a girl. It's another one.

- Do you know who she is?

- I have no clue. That is my last one. I found it today at home. My address is public for the university.

- I suggest you read this book. It's perfect for you.

Mom and I kept talking. I can't read every book that this girl suggests to me. My free time is not much. Well, now I'm not writing that much. Maybe I can use some of my free time. Mom has read the book, but she refused to tell me. I feared she might be mad at me, but I'm glad we talked. I didn't tell her about my novel. Let's say that it's not going well. The contest might be soon, so I better focus on that. I don't even know what I will present. I have a reserved spot, but it doesn't mean anything. Lately, my work hasn't been good enough. I hope that this will change.