Searching for His Lost Love

8 May regret it

Lisa felt her body stiffen at her mother’s question.  She couldn’t tell her mother about the divorce, she wouldn’t be able to handle it.  She had to come up with some excuse for why he was not by her side now.  “Oh mom, I missed you.  I wanted to come stop by and see you so I asked Blaine to drop me off.  He is so busy with work that he wouldn’t be able to take time off and so he left after her dropped me off here.”

Her mother nodded and tried to pull her into the apartment with her.  Lisa slipped her hand out of her mother’s hold and took a quick step back from her.  She shook her head before hastily speaking.  She knew that they couldn’t be in the same room together for very long before he mom would have an episode.  She didn’t want to set her mother back any further in her health than she already was so with trembling lips and a heavy heart she turned her mother down.  “Mom, I’m not coming inside.  I can’t stay; I just wanted to hear your voice.  I don’t want to make things harder for you or trigger your memories again.  You need to take care of yourself mom.  Don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything.  Blaine didn’t go far, I will just have him swing back by and pick me up.”

Lisa hurried away with her suitcase before her mother could insist or worse, ask any questions.  Judy watched her leave and her heart slowly filled with guilt.  Her mental health had taken a toll after her husband’s death and her episodes could strike at any moment.  If they were both in the same room together she could become violent and hurt Lisa.  It had happened before, so maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that she had left.

Lisa walked out of the complex that her mother’s apartment was in and sat down on the curb to think.  This world was such a big place and she was now homeless with nowhere to go.  Soon she heard someone shouting at her. “Hey, girl, what are you doing?  Get out of the way, you are going to block the cars if you sit there.”  Hearing the shouting security guard Lisa jumped up and moved to the side apologizing the whole time.

She used her cane and her fingertips to lead herself along the side of the building till she reached the corner of the guard shack.  She was shivering from the brisk wind and sunk against the structure, pulling her knees to her chest in an effort to keep warm.

Ryan saw her curling up alongside the building and it ate at him how she looked so lost and alone.  He felt his heart twinge in pain at the sight and sighing got out of his car, grabbing an umbrella from the back seat.  It wasn’t much but it would at least keep more snow from dumping on them from above.

He had known there was something not right when Lisa had been so reluctant to tell him which building she was headed to and then wouldn’t let him walk her to the door.  Listening to his gut he had refused to leave the parking lot and stayed to watch her.  He was glad he had decided to stay as he watched her walk away from the apartment almost in a daze.  He knew she must be having more trouble than she was letting on.

He walked up to her while opening up the umbrella.  “Lisa, hey let me help you up.”

Lisa raised her head at the sound of his voice and he saw her tear filled eyes and her face was streaked from the trails her tears had left in their wake.  “Doctor Davies, what are you still doing here?”

He crouched down so that they were face to face and reached out a hand to wipe away her tears.  “Lisa, you don’t have anywhere to stay do you?  Come on; let me take you back with me.  I can’t leave you out here like this you will freeze to death.”

She shook her head in denial.  “I can’t let you do that Doctor Davies.  We aren’t family or friends.  I don’t want you getting into trouble, you’re my doctor.  I will be fine; I’m just a little tired and need a moment to rest before I head on my way again.  Don’t worry about me.”

Ryan felt a tug at his heart as she mentioned that they just had a doctor patient relationship.  He couldn’t tell her that he felt so much more for her than that.  How would she react?  She had just gotten divorced from that jerk Blaine, and she was a complete wreck right now.  No, he couldn’t tell her this now; he could be there for her though.  “Hey, didn’t you tell me you know how to play the piano?  I have a friend who just opened a restaurant and is looking for a pianist.  You could audition for the job.  I’m sure we could work it out for you to get food and a place to sleep as part of the deal.  What do you say?”

He watched as her face lit up at the suggestion.  “Really, you would do that for me?”  Then her face turned sullen.  “I can’t see though.  No, Ryan, I don’t want to cause a burden to your friend.  Maybe it isn’t a good idea.”

Ryan stomped down the flicker of anger that coursed through him as she put herself down.  Yes she was blind, but didn’t she just say that didn’t mean she was broken.  “Don’t overthink it.  I am sure you will blow him away and be a great fit for this job.”  He felt himself smile as a rosy tint lit across her cheeks and she truly smiled for the first time tonight.  He would make sure she got this job, she needed it so much, not just for her self-esteem but because he knew she would see just how capable she was once she no longer needed Blaine.

Meanwhile Blaine was pacing in the waiting room of the hospital they had taken Dana to.  He kept finding himself brought back to the scene where he had come across Ryan and Lisa in the snow.  It kept sending a wave of anger through him and just when he thought he would sit down to wait he would find himself start to pace the floors all over again.

He just couldn’t get it out of his head and he found himself wondering what happened after he left.  Was that doctor, Ryan was his name, going to make a move now that Lisa was finally free of him.  He felt the anger surge again and he was on his feet.  He could swear the tile floor was starting to get a rut in the same circular path he had been carving into it for the last two hours.  Yet he would start to sit only to find himself again in the pattern of the circle he had become so accustomed to tonight.

It was during one of these rounds of pacing that his mother arrived.  Margaret Harland was as stoic as they come and just as cold as a glacier.    He knew she had never been one to approve of much of his decisions in life.  Come to think of it she had never liked Lisa and had thought that Dana, having been from a family with very deep pockets, was the ideal woman to be her daughter-in-law.  He watched as she approached him, her icy gaze sweeping over his unkempt state and finding him lacking.  

Margaret walked up to her son and upon seeing his sullen expression rolled her eyes in irritation.  “Blaine, I heard that Dana is in this hospital right now because you abandoned her to go and chase after Lisa in this god awful weather.  The poor girl wakes up from a three-year coma and what do you do?  You abandon her to go chasing after some woman who was never worth your time in the first place.  How could you do this to Dana?  I thought I raised you better than that.”

She berated him and Blaine couldn’t help but feel like a kid getting caught in the cookie jar.  His eyes held a flicker of melancholy as he faced his mother.  After the silence stretched between them with her shooting daggers into him he finally relented.  “Yes mother, I got it.  I won’t allow myself to be distracted by Lisa any longer.  I will do better by Dana.”

His mother nodded her approval and, after wiping a seat down with a couple of disinfectant wipes she took from her purse, turned to sit and wait for news of Dana’s condition.  Blaine knew he had made the right choice but couldn’t help the little voice in the back of his mind that told him he just might live to regret this.