One Man's Treasure

Flames, smoke, and pain. that's what I remember the most. Almost every time I close my eyes, I relive that experience. The smoke filling my lungs non-stop, the flames licking my body, leaving charred skin in its wake, and the pain from my body burning. Yeah, that was me at age 7. How the fire started is unknown, but I was trapped in my closet, the handles too hot to touch. I stare at the ceiling, and the light from the lampposts stares back—the occasional light from a car whizzing past. I sigh and turn over, looking at the back of my door. the few hoodies I own morphing into a demon-like creature. I sigh again and swing my legs over the side of the bed, pushing on it and standing up, I grab my robe. I slowly open the door, the hinges squeaking, I creep down the creaky stairs and to the kitchen, grabbing the half-eaten pack of Oreos, two glasses, and some milk. I pour the milk, set the jug down, and start eating the cookies, watching the archway of the kitchen for the small outline of my brother. Sure enough, I hear the stairs creak and see his body enter the kitchen. “I knew you were coming down here,” I say smirking, he jumps at the sound of my voice “Cameron?” he calls out “No, I’m the bogey man, here eating cookies and milk instead of trying to make you pee your pants,” I say and roll my eyes. he takes a seat across from me, grabs a glass, and starts to eat the cookies with me. “Why are you down here?” he asks “Because I don’t have the privilege of sleep as you do,” I say grabbing another cookie and dunking it in my milk. Marcus stops chewing and from what I can tell looks at me “Why don’t you take your medicine?” he asks. Now I stop chewing and looking at my glass “Because, then I fall asleep, and I don’t like sleeping” I say. my brother nods his head “The fire?” he asks I nod my head. Marcus was a baby when the fire happened, three months old. He was with my mom, and I was playing hide and seek with my dad, my mom got Marcus out, and my dad went outside looking for me, when I was nowhere to be seen, he ran back inside, into the fire. even though it’s unknown HOW it started, it’s known WHAT started it. Kinda weird how they don’t know how it started, I’ve always thought it was something I did and they said that they didn’t know so I wouldn’t feel bad. Lost in thought I don’t hear the stairs creak, but I DO see the blinding fluorescent kitchen lights. I close my eyes momentarily “Marcus, turn those off!” I say speaking loudly “I’m not Marcus,” my mom’s voice says. I slowly open my eyes and see my mom standing in the doorway. “Uh, hi?” I say “Yeah, hi. Why are you two up, and eating the cookies?” she asks as she walks to the cupboard to grab a glass. “Well, I heard Cameron come downstairs,” Marcus says blaming it on me “You did not. you always come down here when moms sleep and you think I’m in la-la land” I say pointing the finger at him. Marcus rolls his eyes. My mom sits with us and pours herself some milk and eats the cookies with us. “Since it’s-” she looks at the clock “-thirty minutes before you guys get up for school after you eat this not breakfast, hop in the shower and get ready,” she says “Yes ma’am,” me and Marcus say in sync. We all finish the cookies and me and Marcus go upstairs to get ready for school. I grab my towel and walk into the bathroom. I turn on the hot water, the pipes groaning, and I start to undress. we live on the sketchy side of town. with the c***k addicts and drug dealers. I step into the shower and let the warm water run over me, wincing as it runs over the cuts on my arms. Grabbing my homemade 3-in-1 body wash and loofah. squirting the necessary amount I lather the soap on my body, scrubbing a little. The smell of the cheap body wash, shampoo, and Conditioner fill my nose. I rinse the soap and squirt some in my palm, lathering it in my hair and massaging my scalp. I rinse my hair and step out, turning off the water. I wrap my towel around my waist and exit the bathroom and enter mine. I dry my body and put on my usual clothes. jeans, a tank top, and a Hoodie. I always wear long sleeve shirts to hide the cuts on my arms. I grab my backpack, making sure my homework and books, and stationary tools are in it. Zipping it up I unplug my phone, stuffing it in my pocket, along with my earbuds and put the charger in the front pocket of my bag. I jog down the stairs and check the time. ‘6:13, almost time to go’ I walk to the stairs “Marcus! Hurry up, It’s six-thirteen!” I shout. “I’m coming!” he yells. I sit on the couch and put on my shoes, then close my eyes, waiting on my younger brother. A few minutes later he bounds down the stairs all ready for school. I look him over, sometimes this boy will put on some stupid outlandish clothes, but today he matches. I stand up, and grab my keys “Mom, we’re leaving now!” I called her “Okay!” she calls back. I and Marcus leave, locking the door behind us. We start walking to the bus stop. I put in my earbuds and Marcus stepped on all the cracks. when we arrive we sit and wait. we’re 5 minutes early, so we’ll be waiting for ten. A few kids we know come and wait with us. we all live in the same neighborhood and go to the same schools. the high school kids and elementary kids. Gabriel, the only Mexican kid in the neighborhood nudges me. I look up and take out an earbud “Yeah?” I say “Hey Cameron, good weekend?” he asks “Besides the lack of sleep? yeah,” I answer. Gabe knows about the fire, we grew up together after all. most of the kids here have. Gabriel nods his head in understanding “You don’t take any medicine?” he asks “The doctor proscribed some, but when I sleep I can’t wake up from the nightmares” I say “Oh, I’m sorry man, I wish I could give you my sleep. I’d rather stay up at night, maybe then I could get some homework done with my siblings asleep” he says looking at his siblings. Gabe has 13 in total. five are too young to go to school, a pair of unborn twins, and six younger chaotic ones. I smile “Nah, you don’t want insomnia, I often get headaches from the lack of sleep, and sometimes I see things too.” I say shaking my head. “The bus is here!” Gabriel’s younger sister Camilla shouts, pointing at the yellow buses. Marcus stands up and walks toward the bunch of elementary school kids. the high school bus rounds the corner and I stand up. both come to a stop, the younger kids get on one bus and the older ones on the other. I walk to the back of the bus and sit in an open seat, Gabriel sitting next to me. The bus ride is silent as we go to school, hitting all the stops along the way. Soon we arrive at learning hell, as most call it, my school is across the street from Marcus’s, I walk through the front doors of mine and turn to the left, walking to my first class, English, I put walk with my head down, praying to God no one bothers me, but as always, someone does “Hey look. It’s fire boy!” someone shouts pointing at me. I tense up at the nickname. Kids can be serious assholes. everyone starts laughing at the remark. I start walking faster, people rudely greeting me.”Hey fire boy! did you get burned again?” I hear the very distinct voice of my Ex, Xavier, say. I bite my lip, trying to hold back the tears. I and Xavier once were a happy couple, the cheesy dates, late calls, cuddling, and all. but when he wanted to have s*x and I said no, he blew his top, saying how he was patient and didn’t understand why I didn’t want to, then he accused me of cheating, I didn’t deny it, but I didn’t confirm it either. then a week later, I sent him a nude, a nude showing the scars I desperately try to hide. At the time I wasn’t cutting myself, so I didn’t have to worry about that. after I sent the nude Xavier printed out dozens of them, saying I wanted attention, I was a slut, I was a slave, to s*x and so much more. That’s when everyone found out and started calling me fire boy, they also call me flame slut, and pyro b***h. . I reach the destination of the classroom and quickly take my seat. Kids file in, the teacher at his desk. In the middle of class, a paper ball gets thrown at me. I brush it off my desk and stare ahead, another gets thrown, I sigh and decide to entertain whoever threw it. “How much do you charge Flame slut? wanna blow me after class?” I bite my lip and get up and throw the paper away. “Mr. Jacobs” my teacher, Mr. Twinkicetti says. I turn to look at him “Yes sir?” I answer “What did you throw away?” he asks “A doodle,” I say “why don’t you share your artwork with the rest of the class?” he asks. my stomach turns “Um, n-no thanks, It’s horrible anyway” I say. I can hear the kids snicker. Mr. Twinkicetti crosses his arms “Let me rephrase that. share your artwork with the rest of the class.” he says sternly. I try to swallow the lump in my throat, My anxiety kicks into overdrive and I get the lone paper ball from the recycling bin crinkle it, and set it under the projector camera. The teacher reads it and his face turns into a mix of shock and worry. I can hear the kids laugh, their laughs start to get louder and never seem to end like they’re playing on loop. “Stop laughing, all of you,” Twinkicetti says, his voice sounds faded and he tries to get them to stop. I feel humiliated, and it gets harder to breathe. my breathing gets quicker and the room seems like it’s spinning, A panic attack…..great. I left the medicine for it at home. “Cameron? Cameron!” the teacher calls me, his voice distorted. I turn to the door and open it, everything starts fading in and out. and now I’m hyperventilating. I stumble and run to the nearest exit, hoping for air. “Cameron!” Twinkicetti calls. I trip on a carpet and fall, at this point gasping for breath. Anxiety, hyperventilation, depression, and lack of sleep don’t mesh well. My teacher knees down, his left hand on my back his right arm on my chest, I can hear the doors of classrooms opening and the kids taking as well as snickering “Such an attention w***e” I hear someone say. “Call 9-1-1!” Twinkicetti shouts. My vision starts to fade “Cameron, stay with me, keep your eyes open” he says rubbing my back. his voice is distant, the last thing I see before blacking out is Marcus breaking through the crowd of kids and sliding onto the floor to me, then it all goes dark “Mommy! Daddy! Help me!” I scream in my closet, trying my best to get the flames off of me, fat tears falling down my face. I tried to touch the door handle once but I burned my hand, I tripped over the loose floorboard and hit my head on the toy chest, before consciousness fades the door is wrenched open by my dad, he used his shirt I believe, But then the ceiling collapsed on top of him. a piece of wood went through the back of his head, killing him, then…I blacked out I sit up with a start, drenched in sweat. not yet realizing the dream has faded I try to put out the nonexistent flames screaming “No, get off!”. My mom wraps her arms around me, engulfing me in a much-needed hug. I start to calm down, noticing I’m in the hospital. “Mom, why am I here?” I ask looking at the iv drip “You don’t remember?” she asks “No, not really” I say looking around, spotting Marcus seeping on the couch “Well, you had a severe panic attack at school, and you backed out….Why haven’t you told me you were being bullied, Cameron?” She asks, concerned for me “Because I don’t need you worrying about me, you worry about enough, besides it’s not that big a deal.” I say “Cameron-” She rolls up my sleeves exposing the many wounds I’ve inflicted on myself “It is a big deal if you’re doing this,” she says I sigh looking down “I’m sorry mom.” I say tears threatening to fall “It’s fine, just don’t make me worry again”. I was discharged not too long after I woke up. Back at home mom had me go to my room and lie down. I could faintly hear the sound of metal hitting metal and my chest starts to ache. 'Now she's hiding sharp objects' I think to myself. I sigh and roll over in bed. my doctor called the school, I have the rest of the week (three days) off. I could go grocery shopping, clean up a little, I have a job too, so I could work more hours than usual too. The next day I woke up to my mom shaking me awake "hey baby, I'm going out for a bit, are you going to be okay by yourself?" she asks. hesitation evident in her voice as she looks at me. "Yeah, I'll be fine. don't worry about me. I'll probably go shopping anyway" I say smiling. I can see her relax through her eyes "okay, I'll be back later" she says giving me a kiss on the forehead then leaving. I sigh and roll over. 'Why me?'