Whispers Or Life

Lino I stood in the middle of my leaving room confused. Why hasn't Gogo turn on the infamous heater she loves so much. It was a bloody cold winter day. The wind outside felt like it was trying to cut through your skin. The trees looked like they were fighting to stay rooted. It was cold, dusty and freezing. Yep that was Pietermariztburg for you. I should have asked gogo to buy an electronic heater because the gas one was just a lot of work and never mind the fact that it left a smell on everything. Electricity was getting expensive but an electric heater would be worth it. I looked around my flat trying to find the gas. I knew I was gonna freeze to death if I didn't. Found it five minutes later, after I went through half of gogo's clothes. Her stuff was everywhere and unpacked. I could never bring myself to ask her to clean it up. Firstly she was an elder and second the only family I have, I couldn't risk upsetting her to then point of leaving me familyless. I will manage around this mess. Growing up without my real family meant that I moved around and stayed with people who pitted me enough to let me stay with them after my father's second wife died. I connected the gas to the heater and lit it up. I noticed gogo was sitting in the corner and I handed her a blanket . I wonder why she was sitting in the cold? I moved to the kitchen to make her coffee and her coffee mug was sitting on top of the kitchen table. It had a picture of her youngself with some green eyed Brazilian man. It was one of the things she come with when she moved in and it seem important to her. The loud bang from the door made me almost drop the mug. If I had, I would have never forgave myself. I placed the cup on the table and went to check who almost broke my door down. I found a big rural Zulu man standing in the middle of my leaving room. My fault was a two bedroom, big enough for a family of four but this man made it feel small. Gogo was nowhere to be found. I figured she ran to her now bedroom. I looked the man up and down hoping he won't sense the fear that was making my heart race. "May I help you with something?" I looked at him directly. He moved around my flat. "Where is Tamara?" "Ayibo, who are you?" I pointed at him with the spoon. " Who told you, you can just let yourself in other people's house?" I made sure I was far enough to run for the door if I had to. Something about him wasn't safe, and I didn't want him in my flat anymore. I had to find a way for him to leave. "Ntombazanyana(little girl) I want to see Tamara now!" He was black but had an Afrikaans accent, which made him ten times scary. It meant he grow up during a*******d and he was ruthless. "Tamara, I know you are hiding here somewhere. I want my money or I'm coming for your life" "She isn't here." I tried to remain calm and lowered my voice. I pretended like he didn't scare me at all. "Now leave!" I snapped "Try and stay out of this Nana" gogo said walking towards the window as though she was trying to check if the man was really leaving. "gogo he said he needs his package or he will take your life" she shot me a menacing look before she went to the kitchen. He had whispered this to me before he left my flat. When Gogo didn't turn to answer me, I went and locked the door and held the spoon tightly. Gogo knows this type of people? Who have i invited to stay with me? Maybe this was a joke, this is some old man interested in her romantically and he joked that way. I made tea and went to my room. Did some work and some of my unisa assignments. Studying and working was fun up until work got out hand and too much to handle. My phone rang and hour earlier than it normally did. It was my one and only boyfriend Thabo. He was driving from work. I kept my hair and makeup on so I was pretty on the video call. He hardly looked at the screen. He said the usual " work was just fine babe." Which made me feel like he just didn't want to talk about his day with me. He no longer detailed his day to me. There was a lot of awkward silence through out the video call. I completed my assignment, whilst he drove home. He cut the call before he got in his flat which was unusual. We haven't had anything to talk about in weeks, let me not mention s*x. The last time it happened I didn't feel him at all, we were just really disconnected. I questioned the whole relationship to be honest. I didn't know where we stand. Me:You look like hell babe what is going on? Thabo: I got fired at work today Thabo: um sleep in early, goodnight we will talk in the morning. He went offline immediately after the last text. I was still in shock but when I finally understood what he said. I was starting to understand why he was the way he was. I understood why he was closed off but it did not explain the other 5 months out of the six. It didn't explain why he was being distanced. Being mad at him didn't make sense anymore. I could tell from his voice he felt lost. He sounded like a man who has just lost everything. I felt for him. Weeks went by Thabo completely ignored all of my phone calls and texts. At first he was just blue ticking me and it moved to him completely ignoring them all together His insta stories showed him drinking and having a time of his life with his friends. He was never the one to be behind the camera. I was a healthy and safety officer at a marketing firm in Scoville. My job was to make sure everyone had a healthy and safe environment to work in and prevent the company from lawsuit about an unsafe environment. I worked during the day and I study at night. When I got home, loud music and the whole place looked like a terven. The kitchen was over flowing with dishes with food still on them and opened wine bottles were everywhere. I found a slice of pizza and I placed it on the only clean plate I could find. Gogo was capable of cooking but she choose not to. She just kept taking money out of my savings jar to buy takeaways and alcohol. I need to find a way to get rid of everyone. I unpluged the meter box, it was my only option , the flat went dark. I seat in the dark and ate my pizza. I could hear the ladies falling on top of each other. Some were saying they should leave because there was load shedding and some were sure I turned off the lights. "We can tell when we are no longer needed" one woman said before tripping and I assume she fall afterwards. When I everyone was gone I went into gogo's room. "gogo, who was the man that was here. It sounded like you owed him something" " A friend of mine I gamble with, don't worry about it." she got in her bed a dozed off. I could tell she was laying. I knew if she lied while she was drunk. I will never hear the truth when she is sober. **** Another two weeks went by and Thabo was still ignoring me, so I stopped texting all together. It was clear he moved on. I gave up on trying to find out about the guy that come to my flat a month ago. And Gogo wasn't giving me answers about him either. She was starting to avoid me all together. We stayed in the same flat but I hardly ever saw her. When I left for work she was still sleeping and when I came back she was out. One Monday I came home to the whole flat cleaned and home cooked meal. It smelled good. Steam bread and kidney beans, my favorite. "Nana" She was smiling coming from the kitchen. This is new. She hugged and kissed my forehand. She was in a great mood. Someone she did not like definitely died today "Gogo what is going on?" "I won a trip to stay at some executive hotel in Cape Town, mababy" She pulled me into a dance, I kicked of my heels and we danced to the tune she was singing. "How about we pack after dinner, so we can leave first thing in the morning" It sounded rushed but any vacation was welcomed. I had been saving for years to go to Durban. A free Cape Town vacation was welcomed. "You mean we are leaving tomorrow morning? Ayibo I have work gogo" " I already sent an email saying we have a family emergency" "So we are going to Cape Town?" I jumped with excitement. This trip is gonna be so much fun was all I thought.