Just another Tumor

Jazzberry Jam

Samantha Type 

    Well I just screwed that up for myself. The poor guy seemed so anxious, I wonder if he even wanted to do this whole date thing.  I think I forced him into it. Wait no, it’s okay, if he didn’t want it he would’ve said no. He would’ve been all ‘No weirdo, go away’ but he didn’t. He picked a time and now I have to try and figure out what the hell I’m going to say to this boy during our so-called date.  

Bike home as fast as you can so you’re not rushing. Counter productive cause you’re rushing home but you gotta give a little to take a little. Cars not home, let’s hope it’s mom. I open the door and three munchkins are plopped on the couch watching some weird show with talking animals? I don’t even know. 

    “Hey chickpeas, how was school for you guys?” Only Sage looked over and answered with a shrug while the other two stared blankly into the tv. When Sean babysits them, his only tool is the tv. Walking past the kitchen I can see him out of the corner of my eye, I used to always help him with his homework. I used to help him with everything until the accident happened. Now he’s just angry at me and won’t talk to me unless he has to or if he wants to remind me that I screwed up his life. I think Sarah my older sister is mad at me too but she understands more than Sean. I open my door and I am greeted by the bright Aureolin walls. The only thing dark in here is the jeans and leggings in my drawers. I slump onto my bed and breathe for a minute or two before getting up to my closet. I still can’t believe I’m doing this. 

Almond or Kobi, almond or Kobi, almond or Kobi? Let’s try the almond on for a twirl or two. Yeah no, too boxy or a dress. The Kobi is a little more fitting, oh wait! Ha ha ha, come here Jazzberry jam. It’s cute, flowy but fitting yes, you’re definitely the one.  

“Very dapper Sammy, like a raspberry if a raspberry was a weird mentally un…” My brother Sean peeks into my room. 

“Sean! Go to your room, right now! Don’t pay attention to him sweetie, he’s just acting like a little prick because I took his bee-bee gun away from him. Oh, my look at you! Why the dress?” Damn I really thought mom was out with Sarah or something. I can’t deal with her right now, she always sucks the life out of me. 

“I have a date.” 

“Wait really?! Sammy that’s wonderful! I’m so excited for you, are you sure you’re… ready for this?” Please leave, please leave, please leave MOM! 

“Don’t mom.” 

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop but are you sure about that dress?” 

“Mom I said don’t.” 

“I’m just saying it’s a very bright dress. That’s all. Why don’t you go with that beige one on your bed?” 

“It’s almond mom. Not beige, the beige has more lace and short sleeves.” 

“Oh right, my mistake. So are you going to drive…”  Her eyes staring directly at the floor when she says it. Knowing the answer I'll say even though there might be a small possibility.

“No.” I haven’t driven since last year and my mom still bought me a car when we moved here. I don’t know why she doesn’t get that when you kill your boyfriend while driving it takes more than a year to get over the whole thing.  

“Oh okay, so he’s picking you up? In his car? Or are you two going to bike somewhere? Or…” There’s her comment about my bike, old faithful. She’s rusting and dingy but she was my grandmothers and then my mom’s and now she’s mine and of course my mother thinks it’s degrading to have a bike that looks like that. 

“I’m trying to get ready mom.” 

“Yes, yes, I’ll leave you alone to get all prettied up, not that you’re not beautiful now.” 

“Good bye mom!” 

“Sammy couldn’t I…” 

    Closing the door on her might have been a bit much but I can’t handle this right now, I can’t handle her right now. Maybe I better text and cancel, or call and cancel, or send a freaking carrier pigeon. Why does my family have to be such assholes? Ever since the whole Michael thing I am the black hole that swallowed the family and their lives. I’m the reason why we moved, I’m the reason Dad had to stay home more than a month because my mother needed help with the kids and me. Dad doesn’t really talk to me about it, he’s the same he’s always been. ‘So, the weather looked nice today near L.A. I got this picture for you.’  Every flight Dad takes he takes a polaroid of the sky, I haven’t put them up in this room yet but I’m thinking the closet.  

I hear my door open and I turn around expecting my mom to say something condescending, but it’s my youngest sister Sage with a small bag in her hand.  

“Whatcha got in your hand there wild thing?” She smiles up at me and my room goes back to its bright loud self. 

“You’re going on a date?” 

“Did Mom tell you?” 

“I was ears dropping by the kitchen, she was yelling at Sean to try and be nicer to you.” Ears dropping. Gosh she’s a cutie, only six and already trying to understand the big stuff. “So, I have this for you to wear.” I open up the small paper bag and empty it into my hand. A dollar store beaded necklace that snaps together and two safety pins I’m only guessing she thinks are earrings. 

“Oh, my goodness! Sage did you steal these from the jewelry store?” she shakes her head and starts to implode with laughter, “You know that’s not okay! You don’t even have a job how could you afford these beautiful pieces?!” Her laughter fills the room and I want to put her in a box to keep her this small and this happy. I pick her up and throw her onto my bed as she curls herself up I remember when I was in the hospital. The room was dull and grey and it reeked of death, the first time I woke up Sage, Stephanie and Seth were all curled up on top of my legs and beside me. They looked just as bad as I did with tear stained cheeks and dark circles under their eyes. 

“Are you going to wear them?” 

“Well the bright orange of these beads doesn’t really go with the Jazzberry jam colour of this dress, right?” She shifted her head to the side as I held up the necklace to the dress.  

“Hmm, that is true, how about this necklace on your nightstand?” 

“No!” I realized I was too harsh the minute the I started opening my mouth. Sage’s face turned away from me as she put the necklace down gently back onto the nightstand.  

“Oh, okay.” 

“Wait honey I’m sorry it’s just, I can’t wear that one on a date. Pick another one and I’ll wear that.” 

“You can’t wear this one because Mike gave it to you, right?” Right, I wouldn’t wear it even if I wanted to, I can’t wear anything he gave to me. It was a beautiful necklace he gave to me for my sixteenth birthday, engraved and everything. Hell, I couldn’t even wear it to his funeral. 

“Sage come eat supper!” Mom’s voice snapped me back into reality. 

“Coming Mom! Can you pick a necklace on your own?” I nodded my head and she was off. Now that I was thinking about it Ethan never said if we were going out to eat or not. I grabbed my phone and texted him. I got his phone number from the school office. I might have lied saying we were doing a project but oh well. Okay so now I have to pick shoes. Flats or heels, flats or heels, flats or… Ha! Wedges! Now what colour goes with Jazzberry Jam? 

Ethan Davidson 

I walk up to her door and the house looks like something out of a children’s book. I knew she said it was turquoise but I didn’t expect it to be this bright. The door was grape purple and the front of the house was lined with rose bushes. Dr. Seuss would be amazed by this place. As a I rang the doorbell I heard a dog barking on the other side and some muffled voices.  

“You’re alive!” Her glow wrapped around me as she opened the door. 

“Yup, safety is key.”  

“Indeed, it is. I also realized that you didn’t establish whether I should dress formally or casual so, I think my dress would be appropriate for any occasion.” She twirled as the bottom of her dress danced around her knees, I could smell the roses, or it was just her. 

“You look beautiful.” Sher stopped and her cheeks turned a light pink as her ocean eyes looked away. 

“Flattery will get you a date sir.” She curtsied and I bowed.  

“Do you wanna go now?”  

“Yes, be good Fizgig. I’ll be back before morning!” She looked to her small black fur ball on the ground then yelled into the house. Without waiting for a reply, she slammed the door behind her. “So, where are we going?” 

“Isabella’s?” 

“Well I don’t know her but if she can cook a decent meal I am good with that.” 

“It’s an Italian restaurant in town.” 

“Oh! Then I am very good with that. Italian is my absolute favorite type of food. Little secret? Pasta is my weakness. My mom says that it practically runs through my veins.” I understand her house now, it has as much color as she does. 

“Well I guess I picked the perfect place to go then. Ha ha.” Nervous laughter, one of my many great attributes. She took my arm as I walked over to the car, I guess I should have expected it from her. 

“Thank you, love.” Love, it’s just a word. Four stupid letters. She said to me as I helped her in the car. I went to the driver’s side and got in.