Just another Tumor

Puppy dog love

Samantha Type 

“So, what’s your life story Ethan, what makes you, you?” His car was nice, simple. I hope he didn’t notice me checking where all the airbags are. It’s just a car ride and you’ve already screwed this up.  

“I don’t really know, what’s yours?” Thank god, he asked me, I need to talk, talking keeps me distracted and I really can’t be having a panic attack about leaving the drive way. 

“Okay, so it all started with my parents Alanna and Christopher. They fell madly in love in their teens and ended up breaking up but then in university they met again, after a while they got engaged and married, then my sister Sarah popped out and a year later I came into this beautiful world.” Breathe, it’s just a stop sign he’s checking both ways twice, good job. “I was pretty normal as a child, doing my thing and all that. Then my brother Sean was born I was obsessed with him, you know like a living doll. My parents had to try and modify a stroller because I only wanted myself to be able to push around my best friend. Sean and I were close, it was just our little thing. Then Stephanie was there and she was a trouble maker and took away anyone’s attention and I guess that’s when I started getting a little weird.” 

“You’re not weird.” he glanced at me when he said and I felt me cheeks start to burn. You think that now but you barley know me. 

“Thanks, so it was like that for a good three years until the little monsters came. Seth and Sage are absolutely adorable I will admit that but cheese and crackers they are a handful!” 

“Six kids? That’s a lot.” 

“Yeah, they were the ones that made my Mom quit her job. She was an amazing chef at a restaurant so now our meals are super high quality. My Dad comes home every two weeks to stay for two weeks. It’s nice having him home but I think I like when he’s gone so I get a chance to see what I’m missing. He makes the best hot chocolate you could ever taste. People sometimes think it’s only a drink for cold weather but my Dad makes it frozen too and ugh! If I was an addict that would be my drug. Okay, maybe that’s a little bit of a weird analogy but it’s kind of true. Not the ‘I’m a drug addict’ the I love it so much part. Am I talking too much? Because you can tell me and I will quiet down a bit so you can talk too.” He simply shakes his head and keeps driving, I have no idea where this Isabella’s is but it feels like ten hours away. Or maybe I’m just sweaty and time is moving in slow motion. Maybe I could ask for the air conditioner on, no. It’s the beginning of September no one puts their AC on in this kind of weather. “Okay good, good. So, all of my siblings love the frozen and none- frozen hot chocolate that he makes. My Dad should be coming home soon actually now that I think about it. He doesn’t really make the hot chocolate as much as he used to but still maybe once when he’s at home, maybe twice. A lot has changed this year.”  Why are you bringing that up? What are you doing?! Goddamn it Sam! Oh, never mind we’re here. This little place is so cute. He really did do a good job at picking it. We park and he gets out so quick I didn’t even realize he was opening my door. “Thank you, Sir.” 

“Of course, my lady.” He bows and I curtsey back to him. I take his arm and I breathe in and remind myself that this is all okay. It’s okay. As we enter, the atmosphere is beautiful. Burgundy walls with black booths, only a few tables here and there are placed with small tea lights at the center.  

“Hi there, welcome to Isabella’s how many will there be tonight?” She must be the hostess. Dressed in a nice little mars black dress while the others are in a porcelain buttoned down shirt and a mars black vest.  

“Just the two.” His voice was different. A little deeper, heavier too, not as light as it was at school.  

“Perfect, right this way.” We walk past an elderly couple putting on their coats. I try to think of what they would look like in their younger days. The 1950’s maybe, her wearing a boxy dress with a feather clip in her pin curls and him dressed in a checkered suit helping her with the mink coat she got from a former lover but he would never know that. “Is right here okay?”  

“Great, thank you.” Definitely heavier. We sit down in a booth and across from us are a middle-aged couple eating their food. The wife looks grey and the husband is either unaware of the dismay or is just in denial.  Maybe at one point they were exactly what they each wanted or needed but the love is gone. I would never want that, I would never want to start to feel the feelings fade or die. Especially die.  

“Your waiter will be around shortly to get you drinks.” I nod and notice another couple. Puppy love, or on honeymoon. Feeding each other is either one or the other. They’re trying to hard to be happy. If it’s real you don’t have to try hard but you do have to work. Like the elderly couple, I go back to imagining them in an old 1950 Chrysler Newport, driving around with the windows down and the woman’s arm hanging on the side of the edge while her husband glances over every once in a while, to take in the beauty of her. The waiter comes and snaps me back to my own date, I order a water and Ethan gets a 7-Up.  

“This a very nice place you picked.” He nods his head and stares at the menu. I look around and realize he is just like the dying couples husband and I’m the puppy love girl. Trying to hard and not trying at all. What if this was a mistake. What if I’m not ready for this date? Why am I even going on this date! I don’t really know this guy, I don’t even know his last name, but here I am! Maybe I’m trying to test the water, yeah. See if I can actually go through something and come out of it not broken. Just try it Sam.