The Perks of Being Heartless

Chapter One

Chapter One

Saturday, July 01, 2017

× July 01, 2017 ×

→Alex (@Ms.AnonymousBlogger) published a blog post.←

Sometimes the strongest among us are the ones who smile through silent pain, cry behind closed doors, and fight battles that nobody knows.

I'm trying to compose myself right now, hoping that someone will respond to the blog I just posted. It took about 2 minutes when a notification appeared. A new follower commented on my post.

→ CommentMe (@Mr.Commenter) commented on your blog post.←

In life, you will realize that everyone you meet has a role in your life. Some will serve as tests you have to face, some will just use you, some will truly love you, and some will teach you lessons that can be applied in your life. Some people are meant to meet you, but are not meant to stay. But the ones who are truly important are the ones who will bring the best for you. They are the people who will remind you why life is worth it despite all of the flaws you encounter.

I paused for a second as I read his reply, trying to weigh what he said. Why did he have to react like that? Does he know me? Who are you Mr.Commenter? How did you find me?

A knock pulled me out from my deep thought. I immediately opened the door of my room and I was surprised to see Michelle, my gleeful younger sister, who was crying. I could sense the intense emotion she was feeling when our eyes met.

“Damn it! I really hate him, Alex,” she said with an obvious sadness lacing her tone. She barged in with a heavy heart. I could feel it. She sat on the edge of my bed and started to cry.

“What's the problem, Michelle?” I asked worriedly.

“I saw Kian with another girl. That bastard! I thought he really loves me but he's a f*****g liar! He's been f*****g another girl behind my back.”

I felt bad for her. Damn that man. I trusted him when he said he won't hurt my sister! I'm gonna kick his c**k really hard if I ever see him again. Michelle looked directly towards my eyes. Pain was evidently seen in her eyes. Does it really hurt that bad?

“Why, Alex? Tell me the reason why he cheated on me. Am I not enough for him? Is there something wrong with me?" she asked while crying.

Honestly, I don't know what I’m going to say; so, I just hugged her tight and whispered some comfortable and encouraging words.

"Hush, Michelle. Stop crying because of an ass. He doesn't even deserve you. Maybe that was God's way of telling you that you two weren't meant for each other and that you deserve someone better. Learn to let go. Learn to walk away if it's not worth it anymore. Michelle, look! You have a lot to offer so don't settle for less. Stop crying now, dear. I promise that from now on, I will protect you with all I can. I won't let anyone hurt you… never again."

I listened silently to her rants as I was caressing her back to calm her. It breaks me to see that my lovely little sister is hurting because of that fuckboy. Indeed, love is never any good. It brings nothing but pain!

I thought she would be crying the whole night. Good thing that after an hour of crying and shouting, she fell asleep. I gave her a kiss on the forehead.

I was about to lie beside her to sleep when I heard some voices. It seemed like the owner of the voices were in the middle of an argument. As I exited the room, the voices became clear and louder. I let out a deep sigh. My hunch was right. It was my mom and dad who were arguing.

“Where did you go, Edward? At least give some of your time to your daughters!” Mom pleaded.

“Lucy, I told you I want a divorce! This marriage isn't working anymore,” Dad answered coldly.

A sad expression crossed my mom's face. Tears dropped from her eyes, but dad didn’t even give a reaction. He just gave a blank expression. What a heartless man!

“I told you! This is for our children. How can they accept the fact you are going to leave us for your mistress?! Please Edward, don't leave us. Please stay just for Michelle and Alex."

Irritation started to creep within my vessels and dad’s response angered me more.

“Michelle and Alex are both grown-ups now. They will understand our situation. Don't use them as an excuse because no matter what you say, you can't stop me from leaving.”

I felt the hot liquid that was forming in my eyes. My heart started throbbing in pain from what I heard. I’ve had enough for tonight. I quietly entered my room and crawled towards my bed. I hugged my pillow tightly as my tears fell.

My chest tightened more when the memories drowned me. When Michelle and I were still kids, everything was normal. We could feel the love that was embracing us. Our home was full of joy. I thought we were fine… that Mom and Dad weren't having any problem. But I was wrong. I was just so naive back then that I didn't notice the wall between my parents. The love that was once there is now gone. That's when my point of view changed.

I became stoic...

I rarely smile...

I distanced myself from other people especially my Dad; and when I heard his conversation with Mom, I hated him even more than I ever did before.

I was ten years old that time, and it was hard for me to accept that Dad has another woman. He asked Mom for a divorce, but Mom didn't agree for our sake. She begged my Dad to wait a little longer until Michelle and I are already on the right age so that we could understand the situation. Since then, they agreed that Dad is allowed to go to his mistress anytime he wants but he shouldn't forget his obligations to us.

I know that Mom begged Dad to stay not just for me and Michelle but for herself too. Sometimes, I don't know whom I should get angry with. Should I get angry with my mother who is still pathetically in love with my father? Or with my jackass father who can't stay loyal to his family?

I brushed away the tears. An hour has passed, but I can’t fall asleep. I went to my study table and opened my laptop. Looks like it will be a long and tough night. Times like this are when my blog is very helpful.

Somehow, writing helped me escape my sad reality. I write to live the life I never had. I incorporate my thoughts and pain on it. My blog serves as my diary too. I'm very thankful for finding this kind of stuff.

× July 08, 2017 ×

→Alex (@Ms.AnonymousBlogger) published a blog post.←

Being together doesn't always mean that you both love each other. Sometimes, you do it because you have no choice. #LoveWillNeverBeReal

I heaved a sigh as I read the blog I posted. I was about to log out when a notification appeared. It was a comment from Mr.Commenter, the person who commented on my blog earlier. My eyes narrowed when I read the comment.

→ CommentMe (@Mr.Commenter) commented on your blog post.←

Correction Ms.AnonymousBlogger! I want you to know that there are thousands of people in this world who failed in love, but there are still millions of people who are now happy with their loved ones.

I rolled my eyes. Seriously! He's correcting me on my own blog post? I quickly typed a response.

→You replied to CommentMe (@Mr.Commenter)’s comment on your blog post.←

Well Mr.Commenter, I don't believe in those ‘millions’ of people who just fell for that trap. They will regret it in the end. I’m sure of it!

I was biting my lips while waiting for his response and felt something new to my system when he replied.

→ CommentMe (@Mr.Commenter) replied to his comment on your blog post. ←

That is inevitable, MsAnonymousBlogger. You will fall for that trap whether you like it or not. Be careful. Maybe you're next!

I read his comment out loud and I can’t help but feel annoyed. How could he say that?! No! I will not fall for it. Stupid Cupid's arrow will not get through me. I don't want to be like Mom and Michelle who are now pathetically broken because of that bullshit thing they call love.

→You replied to CommentMe (@Mr.Commenter)’s comment on your blog post.←

I will not fall in love, ever!

I've been receiving so many notifications lately. I really love reading them one by one but for now, I want to lie on my bed and force myself to sleep. I turned my laptop off exasperatedly and then I crumbled on my bed.

Love isn't real. It's just a pain in the ass which tries to break every wall, and I'm not going to let it break mine. I'm happy without love, and I can live without it. Mark my words.

Wednesday, July 04, 2017.

I woke up early the next morning because I have to do an errand. I’ll be going to a famous publishing house. They conducted a grand contest for all the writers in the country who want to get noticed, and want their stories to get published. I was one of the participants. The price was very tempting that’s why I decided to join. And of course, I would also like my work to get published.

Unlike most female writers out there, I focus more on the mystery and thriller genre. I would just suck if I write a romantic piece. Sadly, I'm not that good with horror, fantasy, or even action. I don't feel writing non-fiction too, although I've tried writing one. Mystery is fits me the most.

“Finally you're here, Alex!” Mae said. She’s been waiting for me eagerly outside the venue. She has always been a supportive friend.

“What are your names?” The security guard asked while looking at the clipboard which probably contained the names of those invited to this event.

“Alexandria Mercado,” I replied and showed him my I.D. and invitation card. Mae did the same and the guard let us in after he confirmed our identity.

We went directly to the table reserved for us. Coffees were served to us immediately.

“Here are your coffees with special napkins, Ma’am,” the server said as she placed the coffees on our table together with the customized serviette. I sneered when I read the words written on the small piece of paper.

“Find your love in three weeks? Is this some kind of a joke from the organizers?” I asked the server who responded with a heartfelt smile.

“The napkins with those prints are for romance writers, Ma'am,” she turned her back and started walking towards the other table.

I raised my right eyebrow with what I heard. What did she mean ‘for romance writers’? God, I'm not a romance writer!

Mae stood up and walked to the neighboring table where her other friends were seated. She didn't even bid good bye! What a really good friend she is. I couldn’t do anything but hiss.

I was left alone. I busied myself by looking around the venue and observing other people's actions. I was surprised when I heard a slight cough. I frowned when I saw a man standing beside me.

He's handsome alright. He's tall with tawny hair and brawny. He was smiling at me from ear to ear. Okay? What's with this man? He's creepy and he’s scaring the hell out of me.

I looked away but I could still feel his presence beside me. I looked at him once again with my brow raised when I felt him sit on the nearest chair beside me.

“What do you need, Mister?” I asked but the man didn't respond. Instead, he picked up my serviette and smiled.

“Find your love in three weeks,” he read it out loud. He reached for something in his pocket and I was surprised to see that he has the same serviette. “Look, we have the same serviette! Seems like we found love already,” he mocked.

I let out a fake laugh. “Funny! Sorry Mister but I won't waste my time with that s**t,” I rolled my eyes as I let out these words.

“You sound bitter,” he said while shaking his head. The man's face looked familiar to me. I just can't remember where I saw him.

“Being bitter is way better than being corny and pathetic. Will you excuse me, Mister?” I stood up and turned towards Mae’s table. I’d rather be with her friends than share my table with this stranger.

“Sure,” he replied. He glanced at my I.D. and a smile was formed on his handsome face.

“So your name is Alexandria, MsAnonymousBlogger.”

I was shocked by what he said. How did he know my pen name?!

He smiled at me and reached out his right hand for a hand shake. “I'm Russell Gomez, by the way,” he said with a smirk.

“It's really nice to finally meet you MsAnonymousBlogger.”