In his time

2 years ago Tirzah I loved nights that dad was absent. Happened more frequently though since the bar had become a frequent stop. This night however seems different. Mom was too quiet, her eyes loosing the glow in them. Although I seemed to have already noticed that she was really sick. The frequent headaches, the tiredness,she keeps forgetting things, slurring her words and losing balance but she couldn't say anything so she could spare us the pain. I'd known better than to complain to Dad since I was thirteen. At sixteen, I knew better than to talk to him about anything at all." It wasn't always like this. They were both once crazily in love. I used to be envious and prayed for love like that. But then dad lost his job , his dignity when mom became sole breadwinner of the family. It seemed like he was jealous that she was feeding us but he didn't seem like he was putting in any effort into taking over. He drank more, talked less and hit us over and over again. Mom prayed and prayed , I could only watch her because I had long lost faith in whoever she was praying to. If he really heard her if he existed at all, he would have saved us or at the very least spared us from the abuse. Or at least save her from whatever was making her look so weak. Mom stared at the dark skies void of stars for a long time. I joined her to stare from the curtains close to the couch. It really was weird, the moon seemed dull too. I looked over at my brother who was sleeping peacefully on the couch when mom turns to me, she has a strange look in her eye. She calls out to me, "Tirz" "Mom, you okay?", she smiles "Yes darling. Can you come here for a second" "Oo.. okay" I walk over to her, she smiles again "Do you remember what I always tell you about forgiveness" "That as far as God forgives us we should also forgive " I say a bit of disdain in my tone "You don't understand yet, I just hope you don't realise too late about how important forgiveness is. I love you Tirzah, more than you know, I want you to always remember that and that no matter what happens, it isn't your fault" "What's going on mom, you're scaring me", she smiles and kisses my hair "Nothing sweet, take care of your brother and do not resent your father, it's not his fault , not one bit of it. I love you " "I love you too Maman" as I fondly call her. "I'm going to bed now, make sure to lock up but leave the door open for your father" she says meaningfully. "Okkk" I say and roll my eyes. As per her orders,I lock up , take my brother to the room we both share, lay him down and let the darkness consume me. /****/ Tirzah "Tirz, Tirz" Adriel calls out his voice a bit shaky as if in tears. I'm alarmed instantly and sit up. "Adriel, talk to me " I say as I see his tear stricken face "Mom.... It's mom" "What happened to mom?" I ask alarmed . I get off the bed and run to mom's room "Mom?" I call out No response "Mom?" I call out again edging closer to her bed. I touch her lightly scared to discover the truth that had already settled at the back of my mind. Her leg which wasn't covered by the duvet ran cold. My mind raced as I shook her violently. Still No Response "Mamannn!!" I cried out in agony "You can't leave us here with him, he'll kill us." "Mamannn please stop , wake up" but all my tears fell on deaf ears. Silence hugged me like a wet blanket making reality slap me hard in the face. Mom was gone. Completely. Utterly away from our lives . I was sixteen. Adriel hugged me equally drowned in his own tears. I'm not the strongest believer of God but I closed my eyes and asked for a miracle something that would make this less real. I was met with silence. Not that I expected much , I just thought maybe he'd make it right for all the suffering she had to endure. Knowing no help was going to descend from the skies, I cleaned up my tears consoled my brother and began to make several phone calls. I called 911, a warm baritone voice picked up the call "Hi , good morning what can I do for you?" "Umm.. hi" I say my voice still a bit shaken "I'd like to report a death at my address, my mother. She just.... she just passed. Can you please send someone over?" "I'm so sorry for your loss. Can you do something for me real quick ?" "Umm.. sure, what can I help you with?" "I'd like you to exit the room of the deceased . It's a measure we tell all relatives of the deceased to do. It's nothing too serious" "Umm... okay I'll do that." "Thank you. We'll send an ambulance over very quickly.Just tell me your address and we'll be there" he says and I tell him immediately "Thank you. I'll be waiting" I say and the end the call. My brother is still curled on his hands holding his legs together with his face buried in his legs. I'm close to tears again but I hold them back, I can't be vulnerable right now, I have to be clear headed. "Riel, Riel listen to me" I tap him softly and raise his head slightly "Everything will be fine, we will be fine, I promise" I say and hug him tightly. He responds hugging me equally tight and then proceeds to clean up his tears. "What can I help with?" "We have to leave this room first, the ambulance will be here soon, let's clean up the house, I'll start calling the funeral home " "Okay" he says and stands up. He dusts himself up then turns to me "We'll be fine right?" he asks and I nod slowly "We will. I'll do everything I can to make sure of it" "I'll miss her" "Me too"I say at the verge of tears "Go" I say to him . He leaves quietly and I get off the floor clean up and leave as well . I called the funeral home and began preparing, as far I knew mom didn't have many relatives and the few she knew she hardly spoke to. After making preparations with the funeral home, the ambulance arrives immediately and places mom in a stretcher. As they proceed to carry her out , dad chooses the perfect time to walk in. "What ... What is going on? Why are these people in our home Tirzah? " He asks and shoots me a stern glare. "They wouldn't be here if you acted like a man and took care of home" I say tears stinging my eyes "How dare you speak to me in that insolent tone? " "Seriously, that's your take on this right now? Can your priorities be anymore twisted. You are just a weak ass man that takes his frustration on people who are supposed to be your family and now Mom is gone because of you" "Tirzah!" he says in a commanding tone "What ?! You think I'm going to grovel and beg your sorry ass? Think again. You caused this and I hope you live with the guilt for the rest of your life" "What do you mean she's gone?" Just then the stretcher Mom is placed on is being rolled out . Dad falls to his feet and looks sober, like the cruelty of reality just hits him , "No. This can't be right" "Elizabeth", he calls out in something that sounds like pain "I'm sorry , wake up this isn't true right" For a second, I almost believed him. For a second, he didn't look like the man who came home smelling of whiskey and rage. Then I remembered every bruise Mom had hidden beneath long sleeves. I stared at him for a moment. Maybe this was grief. Maybe it was guilt. I didn't care enough to find out. "Riel. Let's go."